Parenting

Its been 6 months ya'll!!!!!! Daelyn Grace was officially 6 months on January 31st. I'm happy to report that most of the tired, overwhelmedness and anxiousness is gone. No more zombie-mommy. Left in its place is fun. Tons of laughter, silly faces, poop (and more poop), feeding, sleeping and yes...a bit of tired. :)

As some of you know, motherhood was a scary idea for me. I mean, I've spent almost 10 years studying the field of psychology, 2 of those years, specifically looking at counselling and boy oh boy...I've seen how easy it is to screw up a person. That alone made me think twice, no three times about being a parent.

But yea, putting all that aside, I mean, I think every parent wants the best for their little person. Me being who I am (over-achiever, well-read, a bit organic) set some high goals for this little one. I really wanted to try and be as natural as possible with her. That started with pregnancy (healthy lifestyle- was achieved). 2. Then labor, but that didn't work. oh well. epidural AND surgery was required for my sweet princess to get here safely.

3. Exclusive breast-feeding. done it...6 months and going strong.

4. :clears throat: cloth diapering. yup...6 months and now its getting real now that we've begun to introduce solids. :/

5. No (or very limited pre-made baby food). I mean seriously. its pureed veggies and fruits. How hard could that be? hahaha well I'm a couple weeks in and it really isn't that bad. I'm fascinated though. When I make it fresh, it can only stay refriegerated for 3 days (frozen for 6 months). SO I'm left to wonder what Gerber be puttin in their all-natural baby food why it can stay on the shelf (not even the fridge) for + 6 months. (insert deep sigh here).

from top moving clockwise: freezer with expressed breastmilk and her veggies for next two weeks.
storage container with her  fresh pureed peas. pumpkin after it was baked. magic bullet with greens
happy baby with a really dirty mouth (ironically, she was eating canned prunes which I did NOT make)

I have some other really ambitious goals, but all-in-all, it boils down to wanting the best for the lil princess. I figure we aim realllly high and if we don't make it- we still do "great". Rather than not setting goals at all and then its just "come what may".

The cool thing is- hubs and I realize that in order to maintain this lifestyle for her, we are going to have to make some lifestyle changes.

For example, we don't want her eating fast food (I mean really- makes no sense for me to slave over the stove as a baby and then just quit when she's a toddler/child)...I'm determined to not allow anything beyond the taste of a french fry before 3 years old. After that...well it will be for special occasions. The reality of this hit us as I sat near dying from hunger (being dramatic) in Wendy's drive-through line. oops guess that can't be happening too often. I mean, what we gonna say.."no babygirl, you can't have what mommy and daddy are eating!"

And for this, I am grateful for the responsibility of parenting. It is yet another thing to make me a better person. To help me do better. To make me more aware, conscious, and responsible for some of the basic things that I do.

So, to infinity and beyond..that's exactly how high I'm shooting! ;)

Grace, peace, love and pureed green beans!
Gia

looking forward...excitedly

this is the year of the dream chasing!

As I alluded to last time, there are quite a bit of milestones that I am looking forward to this year. As I completed my 5 year plan, I was challenged to create a 10 year plan. While I have yet to complete this, I've begun to hash out the details for this year's goals.

Two of which are about to be launched! Exciting right? yes! I'm looking forward to February which will hopefully launch my soon-to-be National Premarital group program, One Accord; and also launch the beginnings of Timothy Education Project Bahamas.

The irony of this is, all of a sudden, I'm super busy and in greater demand. I can't remember the last time I had or was invited for a speaking engagement. However, in the past 3 days- I've had two invites. Additionally, a writing commitment I made months ago..like maybe almost a year- suddenly has a deadline (in 2 weeks). This isn't to mention, another writing commitment I made in December that is still ongoing. And a new coordinator project that occurs in March. Yes, I am busy. wooptee-doo right? what's the big deal?

Well the big deal is that, while all these "extras" are super awesome...particularly for my own development and exposure (if I am to think about my own benefits)- these can actually be hindrances...dare I say blockers to my goals. 

Luckily for me, I learned the hard way, that I am not superwoman (see here). Also, this writing commitment made in December has been kicking my butt and made me realize that I don't have to 1. quickly answer/respond to an invitation. 2. I don't always have to say yes (no is a viable answer). Instead, what I need to do is consider what I've already committed to (what exactly are the tasks and responsibilities for this new "thing"?). Further, consider how those commitments fit in with my family's schedule...because afterall, I do have a 6 month old that still needs her momma (not to mention a busy husband that needs his wife). And finally consider how those commitments fit into my plan for attaining my goals. 

So I did something I don't think I've ever done before. I said "no". And guess what? It didn't kill me.  Although, it did hurt because in each instance, it was something that I didn't mind doing. Something for a good purpose---just not necessarily, MY PURPOSE right now. To this end, as I write, I feel free...rather than what I would have felt--which would have been overwhelmed. I will finish what I started (both writing commitments) and I accepted the short-term coordinator project because that occurs March-April and is for a defined time period and it doesn't require any extra on my part. side note: when counting the cost, its important to accurately estimate the time required. Some things sound simple but take a lot -perfect examples are speaking and writing tasks which can be very time/energy consuming when considering the time needed to prepare for it.

So as I leave...are you busy? overwhelmed? resenting the commitments you made? its time to set some clear and healthy boundaries.  Before responding to anything, take some time (even if it requires a follow up phone call) to consider the "cost".

If you are busy doing good...but its not purposeful, then I think its still a waste of your time eh? 

Grace, peace, love and purposeful living,

Gia

quote of the week: 1.16.2014

If you've read my blog, you would have heard me say at some point, that I want to die empty. I want to ensure that when I leave, there is evidence that I was here. Not for accolades, nor for fame, neither for riches, but simply because I believe that I (and you) am made for purpose. When I saw this quote, this resonated with me at the very core of who I am.

Grace, peace, love, and purposeful living,
Gia

Quality Decisions for 2014

Last day of 2013.....woah nelly!

Inspired by my good friend's newletter (find it here), I decided as I prepare for 2014, to identify quality decisions (as Path Coach Kaylus calls them) to help guide me toward purposeful living.

The beauty of 2014 is that it will also culminate my time working on the PhD, so it will launch Giavana Jones, PhD. woooot wooot. Has a ring to it huh? In 2014, I also return to my role as School Psychologist with the Ministry of Education, Bahamas as my study leave officially ends. womp womp. So undoubtedly, there is a lot for me to think about, process, prepare for, etc. There is also a lot to be anxious about but as I've shared, I'm choosing to NOT worry (see here, here and here for posts on this).

To understand quality decisions, you must read the newsletter, but in a nutshell, Kaylus said that:

"Knowing what you don't want can lead to having what you want"

The idea here is its usually easier to identify what we don't want to do...and from this, we make decisions which lead to our ideal. 

I'll share one of my quality decisions as I challenge you to identify yours!

A couple weeks ago, as I thought about next year and all that unfolds, I realized that I can't see myself going back to a 9-5/5 days a week, i.e. the traditional 40 hr per week position. I am thriving off of the ability to come in late, leave early, not come in at all and everything else that my part time contract position has afforded me this past year. Now, this isn't lazyness. I will get my work done, whether its in the middle of the night or otherwise. I just love that if Daelyn Grace is having a rough morning or night, I won't feel pressured or obligated to be somewhere if there is no specific meeting or scheduled appointment. I also realize that I do not want to work 5 days a week. I'd like a day (at least) to be home with baby girl. Sunday doesn't count because its church and Saturday will most likely default to errands, cleaning...you know- home stuff.

The more I thought this through, the more I found more and more "things I did not want". And they all pointed to the format of a traditional job. The irony of this is, before leaving the 9-5 job to pursue my PhD, I would not have seen myself anyplace else. I was quite content with that type of work schedule UNTIL I took the plunge, left my job and pursued a graduate degree full time. NOW, after the variety of work experiences I've had over the past 4.5 years, I honestly can't see myself going back.

So, long story short--quality decision for planning "whats next" post-PhD is:

finding and creating a work arrangement that is flexible and does not require a traditional 40-hour work week.

What are those things that you just cannot do? The very idea annoys or angers you. It probably means you are mismatched with that particular situation. If so, think it through and identify quality decisions. This works for professional and personal life goals!

Grace, peace, love, and purpose,

Gia

Puzzle of life

I subscribe to the idea that we are not here to float around. Each person has a purpose and life is best experienced, is fully lived, when we are functioning in that purpose.

Now I say "purpose" which seems singular but I think it goes without saying that one's life statement/mission statement may consist of a number of things. For me, I'm all about fostering hope and building communities. Sometimes this is done one person at a time, in other instances, its done via small groups/communities. I want to see each individual I am in contact with to first, know themselves (their identity and purpose), secondly, to live a whole life (with a focus on psychological and spiritual health) and finally, to be in pursuit of their life goals.

Additionally, I believe in connections. We are relational beings and as such, we thrive in healthy relationships and communities. More than relationships though, I believe that what I do (or am meant to do) is directly tied to someone else and so on. Frederick Beuchner best said it:

"The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt."

 I've said all this because I had a situation this past week which made me realize how real this interconnectedness is.

I've been avoiding counselling for awhile now. For those of you that know my story, I spent 2 years completing a Master degree which equipped me with the skills needed for therapy but somewhere in the past 10 years since I obtained the degree, I kinda just wrote it off. It was helpful; I've got some skills that are helpful in life in general, and I've definitely become a more self-aware person which is great so I was happy. Just recently, this month in particular, I've had a number of requests for therapy. I've also had people refer others to me for therapy. Each time this occurred, I gave the blank stare.

Maybe not directly as that was rude..but in my head it was a "ummm not quite; I'm not interested" response.

As I was mumbling to myself about how its weird that recently I've been getting so many requests (most of which are people willing to pay), I was humbly reminded (by an acquaintance) in a nutshell....that counselling is a part of my calling. That conversation, and ensuing personal conversation (you know the ones you have with yourself) really made me stop and think - I do have a gift and while the past may not have created the ideal scenario/environment to use my talents, that didn't mean that I needed to totally walk away from it.

Here is where the story gets interesting. After a quick conversation with one of the individuals who was seeking counselling, I walked away unnerved as I realize that I may have almost hindered her from health/wholeness/purposeful living because of my own issues. Because I had ignored her/turned her down, she just figured that this meant it wasn't meant to be and was quite content to walk away, not looking back and settling for where she was emotionally/psychologically.

I never want to be THAT person; you know, the one who is so caught up in herself that she forgets that her talents and gifts are important, essential to others.

“Pull a thread here and you’ll find it’s attached to the rest of the world.”

― Nadeem Aslam, The Wasted Vigil

I leave you to think about your place in this web, this puzzle of life. We are all interconnected and if I don't do my part, there is a tangible missing piece from the puzzle of life. Don't downplay or ignore your talents, gifts and passions for you never know who needs it.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn- part 2

Once I'm living and breathing, I want to learn. 

To this end, I've made a personal commitment to myself to find lessons in every (or as many) of my life experiences as possible. As a 30-something new mom, I found myself overwhelmed...with love and stress at the same time as each moment since July 31st, 2013 presented a new and sometimes unpredictable experience. :) As I reflected, I realized that the lessons I learned in the past two months really could be applicable to many instances where we are faced with challenges or an overwhelming, new experience.  If this is your first time stumbling upon this blog, or haven't visited in awhile, you can find Part 1 here.

So here we goooo....

girls day out

Third, set reasonable goals/expectations for yourself. In my example, I found that Daelyn Grace would not be put down for a significant period of time, so I had to give up  trying to do anything major. I quickly learned the beauty of those baby carriers/slings for being mobile and keeping my hands free but it was still only so much I could do. Instead of bucking my head constantly to the wall because I wasn't getting to keep the house spik-and-span, nor could I finish a report for a project I started in my internship, I learned to take what I could get; do what I could and keep it moving. More important (and more reasonable) goals were eating, keeping hydrated, resting and keeping myself clean. Those were big enough challenges to add the "other stuff". And to be honest, at the end of the day life kept moving on.  

Fourth, don't compare your situation to others.  Its unnecessary frustration. While there are similarities which bond us together as humans (see point #2), each of us is unique.  We have different personalities/temperament, different past experiences, different resources...and the list goes on. Each of these differences creates a somewhat personalized experience for each of us. Learn from others' experiences and the experts, but recognize that while these may be helpful, it may not be a perfect fit. Find what works for you and make no apologies about pursuing that solution.

Fifth, find time for yourself away from situation. This may be more specific to my experience, but even if your challenge/experience is not a tangible thing...sometimes we get so caught up that we ruminate.  "Rumination is defined as the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences" -thanks Wikipedia! Essentially in this 5th lesson, I'm challenging you to step away, to stop thinking/stressing over the problem. Distract yourself -not to the extent that you never face it- but to the point that it does not consume you. At this point, you can no longer think straight and honestly, we end up in unhealthy thought and behavioral patterns.  For me, I had to learn that great moms know and accept that they need help and they need breaks/time alone and when I do get those breaks to not sit and worry over what baby is doing. ;))

That's it! Well, wait...since this is Canadian thanksgiving- I guess there is one more lesson...find something to be thankful for. I know this is similar to point #1, where I urge you to give yourself a hug but the difference is, here you are now taking inventory of the good that exists...maybe its the helpful friend/family member, maybe its the fact that you are getting paid and are financially stable despite the circumstances. Maybe its the roof over your head, the food in your belly or for me, my husband, my new baby, my loveable dog and the plethora of those I call family (blood or otherwise).

Grace, peace, love and a grateful heart,
Gia

spot check

According to the Free dictionary, a spot check is "an inspection or investigation that is carried out at random or limited to a few instances."

Its officially the second half of 2013. Seems unbelievable right? This year has flew by. More amazing, I've been pregnant since like last November. Am I the only person to whom this seems crazy? ;)) I should insert that I've got mad respect for womanhood now. This pregnancy thing is not for the weak or lame. I can't imagine being pregnant 50 years ago and having multiple pregnancies without pregnancy pillows, elevators, orthopedic shoes, back support thingies...you get the point.

Anyhoo, I digressed. This post literally began a week ago on the 1st/July as it dawned on me "wowsers, only another 6 months left of 2013". I couldn't help but think about what I had accomplished that was planned and even some other achievements that were unplanned. I also began to think about my goals for the next 6 months...in light of the lessons I've learned this year.

What have I achieved (major):

• successful dissertation proposal
• received clearance to begin collecting data (a secondary process AFTER successfully pitching the idea via a proposal meeting)
• moved into a new house
• maintained my sanity while juggling internship and a part-time job and life 
• remaining healthy throughout pregnancy
• launch the counselling and development ministry at my local church 
• applied for extension on study permit in Canada
• cleaned up the vision for Mercy House/Homes of Hope

What I did NOT do (that was planned):

• collect data for dissertation
• get Homes of Hope established as a legal organization

What I'm looking forward to in next 6 months:

• safe and uneventful labor and delivery
• adjustment to parenthood
• collect data for dissertation (November & December)
• secure an internship for January 2014
• maybe return to work? yea..the jury is still out on whether I will take the benefit of study leave from full time work and maternity leave from school and just enjoy my daughter for the full semester (August-December) or whether I'll return to the part time job about November. However, this will be the ONLY job I'll commit to during this time. No more two-job scenarios moving forward. It really is just too much...at least until I get dissertation fully in swing and that is progressing.

So while I conquered a lot in 6 months, there is still a lot to conquer.... point #2 on the goals for the next 6 months is definitely more than a 6 month goal. :) Although, I am looking forward to some big dreams as it relates to settling into a routine with a newborn. I'm scouring books and praying now...

So what are your goals/plans for the next 6 months? Are you continuing to work on those from earlier in the year? Are you starting over? Reassessing? Its never too late until you are dead. lets get planning...actually lets get working!!!!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Clarity is powerful!

"If you have a clear picture of what it is you want to do, then the resources are drawn to you."

This, in essence (I reworded), was the comment made to me after a very exciting impromptu meeting/conversation I had with a couple.

Last Thursday, I had a divine encounter. That's the best way to sum it up. I was requested to visit with a couple with whom my husband had recently met. They were impressed with him, heard a bit about me and wanted to get to know me. Well, what I thought was a casual schmoozing kind of meeting, turned into the beginnings of a dream come true!

Essentially, the couple were VERY interested in the Homes of Hope idea and committed to partnering.

•  Their first commitment was through networking for expertise. They have access to individuals who have first hand knowledge of creating and running "orphanages" and other child-based non-profits and thought it would be a great idea to connect me to them for mentoring and networking purposes.  
• Secondly, they committed to provide me access  to individuals who have unlimited check books, who may be interested in financially supporting an organization of this nature. (insert happy dance here). Networking for financial support.
• Thirdly, they were willing to put their money where their mouth was and provide financial assistance necessary to get the organization legally created. Unlike in other parts of the world, starting a non-profit in The Bahamas, is very expensive...well, at least to lil ole me. Also, in comparison to starting a business, it is significantly more costly. Business < $300 while a non-profit > $3,000.
• Finally, and the one that most impressed me, was their commitment to partner with us. As I mentioned, they have offered their own financial resources, their personal and professional contacts...but also their time.  Both are very interested in taking a hands-on approach, however they can.

Typing about it now (days later), still gives me chills. goose bumps. Can you say my wildest dreams- Someone (or some people) with resources and connections have partnered with me? Only could be God. Did I mention that hubby only met them once and spent less than 2 hours with them before they took this interest? Did I also mention that through this, the only thing they have asked for is: 1. our transparency in the process (fair enough) and 2. that we pay it forward (awesome).

The wife and I spent most of the visit talking because we are really kindred spirits in passions and purpose and her closing statement to me was what I started this blog with.  I have read and repeated multiple times the scripture from Habakkuk 2:2

"And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may [be able to] read [it easily and quickly] as he hastens by..."

Do you know how long I've had the dream of Mercy House but kept feeling it was...unfinished. Wanting to move forward but just stuck for so many reasons. The most obvious reason was that couple thousand dollars needed to get it established as a non-profit. Now that the vision is "complete"..and Mercy House has found its place within the structure of Homes of Hope, now at this time...the resources and connections are beginning to pour in.  sweet.

So I'm on the run to thoroughly write out this vision. To gain even more clarity as it relates to the components of Homes of Hope and I'm beyond excited!!!  check out the overall structure...Homes of Hope.

Oh! by the way, do you feel stuck? vision is unclear? check out my good friend, Kaylus who is a life coach specializing in clarity coaching.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Ari pushed through the gate (Lessons from Ari)

Funny yet true story...remember my previous post on Ari and the gate??

Well,  less than 4 hours after writing the post, I'm sitting in the room with hubby and was visited by the little black blob.  I peak out to the hallway and this is what I found...:))

Apparently, the weekend's situation (when the gate fell down after he accidentally fell on it), really did stick with him and when it mattered, he pushed the limits.

Moreover, since he figured it out that one time, he's pushed through it numerous other times in the past week. He respects it when it matters most, i.e. at night, but if we are in the room and he feels he should be a part of the family time, most likely, he will scratch and push until the gate relents and he has an opening to squeeze through!

So Ari's adventures offers us another lesson: don't forget the instances of the past when you may have broken through. You know, the one time when you may have pushed and gotten a break or a hole (no matter how small)? Or even if it didn't happen to you, but you have 1st-hand knowledge of someone else who pushed through until something happened?

Yes, allow those stories and/or memories to encourage you and propel you to challenge the new(est) "barrier" set before you.

Listen, I know you always hear it...Life is too short. But for real, when you sit to really think through the potential that each of us have... the dreams, the talents and then consider that we don't even have the current moment we are experiencing promised to us- yea, you'll decide to make each moment count. To not settle when you know there is more. To live full and free.

Now...whatchu gonna do?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Ari and the gate (Lessons from Ari)

So....we've been trying to put more structure in the Jones' house. The first of which is reminding Ari that he is a dog and not a small human.  This required getting a baby gate and putting it up to keep him from certain parts of the house.

I'll be honest, the true incentive was to keep him from  pee'ing on our bedroom carpet again. He was sick a couple weeks ago and had some accidents around the house. The bedroom was the only place, that was carpeted, where he had an accident and being a dog,  the carpet is now "marked", making him feel more inclined to revisit. I've tried vinegar and baking soda but if you have any suggestions- do share them! :/

Anyway, I digress. I was in the room sorting laundry and looked out to see the sad face behind the gate.  (black blob is him). The funny thing is, the gate has been up for a week or two but Ari has never challenged it. He has wimpered, cried, sat with "sad face" but never once pushed on it to see if it would give way. Ironically, most times the gate isn't secure. A simple push with his 14 pounds and most likely it will give way.

It got me thinking...how many times have I (we) looked at what is seemingly a "barrier" and just sat behind it. I'm not talking about being rebellious, because rules have a valid place in society. I'm talking about things that could be ours, maybe should be ours...but we settle to accept less. Even if we don't aggressively take down gates, sometimes a simple bit of asking questions or doing research would reveal that what seems to be a secure gate, is really only an appearance and whatever is behind the "gate" is accessible to whoever would challenge it.

Note again: I'm not suggesting rebellion, but more of critical assessment of the information and status quo's that we are fed. Yes, ignorance is bliss..but the ignorant are usually poor, unfulfilled and taken advantage of. I would take rich, fulfilled and empowered over blissful living anyday!

The biggest "gate" right now for me is home ownership. There are tons of "rules"...but I can't help wonder, if I get creative, if I ask questions differently, if I challenge the status quo- will I find another means to get the home that I want without having to go through the long drawn out process that I've been fed to believe is standard or required?

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Back to the vision

I have alluded to the fact that I felt there was more work to be done as it relates to Mercy House Bahamas. I feel like God has expanded and tweaked what was the original design...

The expansion of this vision is nothing unique, in fact it looks a lot like a model that I've seen in S. Florida, however, the cool thing is that the model is fairly new to the Bahamas and furthermore, the specificity of the houses will fill great gaps that currently exist in our social welfare system.

In a nutshell, I see a group of homes that address needs of orphaned and homeless children and youth.  There is an introduction of levels of care which will ensure that kids who have greater needs are not just lumped together with those who may not need as much. This is for the protection of everyone involved, as we know some kids with greater challenges are likely to become perpetrators themselves.

At the crux of this vision is one word:

So for the past month or so, I've been just envisioning this place and I finally decided to draw it out. I couldn't draw...so I decided to use one of my fave presentation tools- Prezi.  If you click the work prezi, it should take you to the vision.

It's huge. I'm definitely looking for partners, sponsors, visionaries because some of the homes are without a "parent". That is, they need someone or a team of individuals to fully develop and take ownership within what it turning into a collective effort. I'm excited.

If you have any suggestions, comments or anything..please do share!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

little dog, big bone (Lessons from Ari)

I haven't done my lessons from Ari post in a while. Mostly, its because I've been away from him for most of the Fall semester and not because he has been shenanigan free. For those of you who don't know him (or never read these posts), Ari is my little fiesty protector. He weighs all but 14 lbs, barks at any and every thing that seemingly could be a threat but loves fiercely. Especially me. He's technically a mutt (1/2 yorkie & 1/2 shih tzu) but more considered a spoilt breed since he is our only "child".

Last night as I sat and just had quiet time, I was praying and thinking and teetering between those two actions for a while...and Ari sat alongside me on his couch and tackled (literally) a bone. The thing is, this bone is big. He's really a small little thing and since last year, by mistake, we've been buying him bones that are probably for medium-large sized breeds.

At first, I instructed the purchaser to return it for a bone suited for his size but since there were two and he desperately needed something to chew on, we left it with him. What we found, is the lesson for today...he was able to handle the bone that was about 1/3 of his size. It wasn't without fighting and fumbling, but consistency and unrelenting determination was what won.

Last night was no different. The bone slipped from his grasp a couple times. He had to change positions a couple times. He had to change the position of the bone a couple times..but if you look closely at the bone (gross), there is clear evidence that it is being widdled away. And I assure you, by end of Feb, all that will be left is a mere nub.

This struck me as fascinating as my prayer and thoughts at this point was centered on a fairly big dream that I've been developing (more on that later). As with most of my dreams, this seems impossible. In fact, this is building upon...expanding, if you may, on a super size dream of The Mercy House which I've introduced in past posts.

What I need to do, though...is finalize the vision. Identify the baby steps and begin chewing one small piece at a time. I need to be flexible to realize that sometimes I may need to change my own position or adjust the dream a bit..but the idea is to steadily, slowly keep chipping away.

First things first though...getting the full vision realized and identifying those smaller goals/objectives.

I'm down for the ride!

Grace peace and love,

Gia

what does 2013 look like for you?

At church on Tuesday night, well...at that point  it was maybe Wednesday morning...my Pastor had everyone close their eyes and visualize what 2013 looked like for them.  At first I just stood there with eyes closed...until I realized the weight of this opportunity. Then, with my eyes closed - I opened my eyes and saw what I would want 2013 to look like.

It was less than 2 minutes but it was AH-MAZING.

It has jump-started my 2013 plan. I'm late this year due to many uncertainties with school but in that moment I was able to see around the roadblocks and see the end goals. I may not have a clear timeline or even fully developed my plan/strategy as yet but I've got definite end points that I can look forward to and for that, I toast to 2013!!!

What does 2013 look like for you? In 3 minutes or less, dream about what you would like to see happen this year, how you look, what you are doing, where you are going...YES! once you have that picture, open your eyes, begin writing and ensure that you can create a strategy, i.e. how you gonna achieve that goal/end point for each one.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Service

Happy Friday ya'll.

Make each day count...even Fridays. ;) Whether you work for a company or for yourself or do not "work" in the traditional sense- there is always an opportunity to serve. It is our duty to ensure that we are maximizing these opportunities...The smallest step to making a difference in the world.

Challenge for today: Find an opportunity to "serve" someone today. I'll let you be creative about how this looks but keep in mind, that service is an action born out of a pure heart (not obligation).

Share below in the comments section how you were able to leave your mark in someone's life today!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

What are you hoping for?

Yesterday, I spent a good chunk of time (at least 3.5 hrs) working on my dissertation proposal. YaY me! That is huge ya'll...seriously. Anyway, my dissertation (final research project for a doctoral degree) is on hope. I'm proposing a new way to think about hope..more than just a feeling or a soft-feel-good-word.

Being engrossed in all that literature about hope, made me think of my own hopes...[Not to bore you] In my proposal, hope is a process (not a state). It is something that changes. It involves our feelings, our thoughts, our actions and even influences from external sources (other people).  I suggest that to truly hope, you have identified a goal (object, event or thing) that you are hoping for. It is for the future (immediate, mid or distant). You not only identify the goal, but you have identified ways to get the goal. You can't "hope" for something to happen without a plan...that's just mushy feelings. You also can't hope for something, with a plan and not do something to make it happen...or get the help of others to make it happen, that's just lazy (unless of course you've already done your part and now you are waiting). With that in mind, it is possible to be hopeful and still have feelings of doubt. I'll admit that my levels of hope toward the goal of finishing this doctorate has waned every now and again. ;)

To hope requires our conscious thought and actions but it usually starts with a dream. You've got to identify something to be hopeful toward.

What about you..what are you hoping for?

If you find that you do not have any hope, close your eyes and dream. You can *think* about the dream later...but just be free. What are your passions? What do you love doing? What do you feel is missing?

As the letter says above...I believe there is ALWAYS hope. My greatest hope is in God. His word says that those who hope in Him will never be ashamed. The hope I have in Him, is that He is who He says He is. That He will do everything that He says He will do. That I am everything He has said I am. From that hope, I'm free to have another hundred (or more) hopes. :D

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Goals

I had the coolest experience two nights ago as hubby and I sat in the heat of the night, with no electricity, and shared our goals with each other. The odd thing about this experience was that I am sure we have done something of this nature before, but the difference with this one, was that I wrote down everything that came to mind (his and mine).

The heat was short-lived (thank God) and to some extent, so was the conversation but it is amazing what a 1/2 hour conversation that is free of distractions can produce. Some of the goals that were shared was a surprise to both of us and that was exciting...learning a bit more of each other. The other good part of this process was that although some of the goals, well lets be real, most of my goals were far-fetched and really "out there"...there was no negativity, it was a very supportive atmosphere.

We will continue the discussion in the next couple days, expanding from personal goals to couple goals, an exercise that we have done together before but once again, I do not recall recording our objectives.

You may be wondering (or not) what prompted this conversation; it was based on my reading of the Platform book that I mentioned here. Once again, upon reading another chapter, I found new meat to chew on...something to say "hmmm".  Being the application kinda gal that I am, I immediately wanted to jump in and actually do what was being talked about/suggested.

What about you...do you have your goals written someplace? or are you like how I was, and they are just swimming around in your head? As long as I can remember, I always knew that there was some importance to writing down your goals but for whatever reason I guess I just never did it. In the book, five reasons are provided as support for why one should write down your goals:

• because it will force you to clarify what you want
• because it will motivate you to take action
• because it will provide a filter for other opportunities
• because it will help you overcome resistance
• because it will enable you to see and celebrate your progress.

Note: you can read a bit more about each of these on his blog here or buy the book!

With this in mind, if you do not have your goals written down, I think you have five very good reasons to do so. While I do not have a story (yet) about how I wrote out a goal and it was achieved (at least I don't think so...), what I can say is that the minute I began writing down the goals, my next step was to add detail. It was second nature, without me even realizing it. Some of the ideas/goals that I had loosely formulated at various points in the past couple years just simply now required more detail.

For example, one of my goals was to spend at least 1 year beginning with birth with my child(ren). Granted, I've said this out loud before I hadn't really developed the idea (never written it down). By simply recording it, I realized that the statement was too broad, too vague. What am I thinking when I say spend a year with my child(ren)? Do I not want to work at all, i.e. be a full time stay at home mom? or do I want to work part-time? A short 3 minutes later, this is what the statement then looked like:

"Spend a year at home with each child from birth to his/her first birthday. This allows me to work from home, although not in excess of 20 hours per week and while I am off, I want to still make money. Specifically no less than $50k for that year."

I can almost see your response! :D But I did warn you that my goals were pretty "out there" but as I've said before, and I am now committed to this philosophy, I refuse to dream within any confines anymore. The world is mine because the world is God's and I belong to him. I will fight doubt, rational thinking, fear and "reality" (I've never made that amount with a full time job) and choose to believe that God is able to do so much more than my imagination can think up. On that note, I choose to believe the truth in a situation rather than dwelling on facts (thanks Deanie!). The truth being what God has said about me or the situation; the facts are what we call "reality".  hmmm, I think that is another blog post. ;)

Anyhoo, even now as I am reflecting on this, I have more questions to refine this goal...what kind of work do I want to work on? Writing? Research? Because the idea is to spend time at home with the child(ren), does this mean no outside-of-the-house work? As you can see, writing the goals down really opens up the creative process. I would suggest your details include answers to the basic questions:

• who (is anyone else involved?)
• what (more details about the object of the goal)
• when (time lines for goal achievement)
• where (is the goal tied to a particular place?)
• why (the rationale or meaning behind the goal)

I personally think the why is really important because as life unfolds and the goal seems impossible, you will need to think on the reasons behind the goal to help keep you focused. Anyway, today's challenge...write those goals down and for those that need more development, start adding details!

Grace peace and love,
Gia