check-in

Hollla

It's May 19th and instead of preparing to go to Canada for a check-in (and possible progress meeting)- I've just barely finished the first draft of 1 of the 3 final chapters for the dissertation.

Disappointed much? yup, indeedy!

However, the extent of busy that my life is, leaves me no time to have a pity party. I've chosen to celebrate the completed draft of Chapter IV.

And here I am-  pecking away at Chapter V...with hopes of completing that in the next 2 weeks. Yes, another aggressive deadline but this time, I actually have time off (and away) so it should be a teensy bit quieter for me to get the focused time and energy to really pull it off.

As it stands, I can still make a defence by mid/end of August and that is the most reasonable case scenario. By far, not the best as it means I will have to pay for the full Summer 2014 semester, but better than not completing and having to enroll in Fall 2014 semester!

However, either of those options, still have me aligned for graduation on October 18th and I guess it is that which keeps me motivated.

So that's me.

Little Miss Daelyn Grace is quite the character. She's seriously developing too quickly and each day I look and squeeze her to try and infuse the Daelyn-of-that-moment to my memory. Life tells me that she will be 1 and then probably 11 before I know. That thought of that is quite overwhelming in and of itself but alas, time waits on no one and I am very appreciative a child who is growing, developing, and maturing in a timely fashion.

Hopefully the next time I come, I can say that I have submitted the entire document and looking to schedule (or have scheduled) that very important meeting.

Grace, peace, and love,
Gia

its that time...again

I'm going to have to take a sabbatical from my weekly musings.

There is simply too much going on. I need to begin widdling down on all my "extras", so without a doubt, I can make this self-imposed, yet necessary deadline of the end of April to have this dissertation written up. At this point, I'm barely beginning with analyses so this is quite a tall order but in light of the financial demands of enrolling in another full semester---I need to put (in Bahamianese) ERRYTING toward this. sigh. I'm already tired but I'm going to rest in the grace for this season.

Before I know it- it will be August 2014, and I'll be done (dissertation defended and last hours of internship completed). Before I know it again, it will be October 18th and I'll be grinning from ear to ear as I walk across the stage with the big fluffy gown and funny-looking hat on my neatly twisted locs and receive the certificate that says Giavana Jones, PhD.

It is for that vision that I push.

So, until I've gotten to a better place with all my demands...I bid you adieu. see ya later.

BUT I can't leave without giving you something to chew on this week...I read this this morning and it was JUST what I needed. Hopefully it does the same encouraging for you.

God makes everything come out right; he puts victims back on their feet. He showed Moses how he went about his work, opened up his plans to all Israel. God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him. He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we’re made of mud. Men and women don’t live very long; like wildflowers they spring up and blossom, But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly, leaving nothing to show they were here. God ’s love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him, Making everything right for them and their children as they follow his Covenant ways and remember to do whatever he said. (Psalm 103:6-18 MSG)

Grace, peace, and love (until our next),
Gia

..possibly one step closer?

It is not uncommon for us to get weary, disappointed or even lose hope when we take on large tasks or dreams.

For me, the "task" of this doctoral degree has seemed to be going on forever and still too far away to see the light at the end. However, there have been clear markers that I have set for myself which have allowed me celebratory points. Unfortunately, my last celebratory marker was 6 months ago and it seems the next one may be another 6 months away. Alas, I push through day by day.

Today's post isn't about the grad school journey though..its about Homes of Hope/Mercy House. Most of you who have followed this blog know about this or at least heard of it. If you are clueless, check out this post, this post and even this one!

I think I shared the prezi presentation with a "vision" of what Homes of Hope is to look like. I wasn't sure how or where to get started given the need for both a large chunk of land and multiple buildings but I've been keeping my eyes and ears open. A couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to share the draft proposal with an interested potential partner. She was a breath of fresh air as her strengths were in finance, with some political ties. She helped me (us) to revisit the plan, make some changes and set some intermediary goals.

She also identified a potential place that could serve as "starter" for the homes. As with life, this "conversation" sparked others and I found myself with two others, viewing a dilapidated and disparaged piece of real estate.

The thing is though...if you look closely, through the rubble, the bee hives, the mold, the missing roof, windows, doors, plaster and lack-luster landscape, you can see- well, let me speak for myself, I can see a perfect plot of land for Homes of Hope.

Yes, that's how I feel.

The irony of the situation is that this particular piece of real estate has been associated with poverty, drugs, murders, prostitution...yes, almost every social ill that is the antithesis of what Homes of Hope represent. And I just love it.

How cool would it be to add to the story of this place of hope...or refuge, that not only the people who come there have been given a second chance of sorts but also the piece of real estate itself has been "redeemed". I get excited just thinking bout it. giddy almost.

Now, the "hard" part. Actually acquiring the property -I'm thinking at bare minimum, we probably need at least $100-150k to buy property from bank and then other financial and human resources to bring the buildings and property to a condition that is not just livable but top of the line (I don't believe in mediocrity).

Nothing for me to worry about. This vision has always been bigger than me, so I've never taken on the stress of expecting that the vision would be fulfilled only by me. 

I'll keep you updated on next steps.  But until then...I challenge you to continue to dream, to pursue passion and to fulfill your God-given purpose as I do the same.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

spot check

According to the Free dictionary, a spot check is "an inspection or investigation that is carried out at random or limited to a few instances."

Its officially the second half of 2013. Seems unbelievable right? This year has flew by. More amazing, I've been pregnant since like last November. Am I the only person to whom this seems crazy? ;)) I should insert that I've got mad respect for womanhood now. This pregnancy thing is not for the weak or lame. I can't imagine being pregnant 50 years ago and having multiple pregnancies without pregnancy pillows, elevators, orthopedic shoes, back support thingies...you get the point.

Anyhoo, I digressed. This post literally began a week ago on the 1st/July as it dawned on me "wowsers, only another 6 months left of 2013". I couldn't help but think about what I had accomplished that was planned and even some other achievements that were unplanned. I also began to think about my goals for the next 6 months...in light of the lessons I've learned this year.

What have I achieved (major):

• successful dissertation proposal
• received clearance to begin collecting data (a secondary process AFTER successfully pitching the idea via a proposal meeting)
• moved into a new house
• maintained my sanity while juggling internship and a part-time job and life 
• remaining healthy throughout pregnancy
• launch the counselling and development ministry at my local church 
• applied for extension on study permit in Canada
• cleaned up the vision for Mercy House/Homes of Hope

What I did NOT do (that was planned):

• collect data for dissertation
• get Homes of Hope established as a legal organization

What I'm looking forward to in next 6 months:

• safe and uneventful labor and delivery
• adjustment to parenthood
• collect data for dissertation (November & December)
• secure an internship for January 2014
• maybe return to work? yea..the jury is still out on whether I will take the benefit of study leave from full time work and maternity leave from school and just enjoy my daughter for the full semester (August-December) or whether I'll return to the part time job about November. However, this will be the ONLY job I'll commit to during this time. No more two-job scenarios moving forward. It really is just too much...at least until I get dissertation fully in swing and that is progressing.

So while I conquered a lot in 6 months, there is still a lot to conquer.... point #2 on the goals for the next 6 months is definitely more than a 6 month goal. :) Although, I am looking forward to some big dreams as it relates to settling into a routine with a newborn. I'm scouring books and praying now...

So what are your goals/plans for the next 6 months? Are you continuing to work on those from earlier in the year? Are you starting over? Reassessing? Its never too late until you are dead. lets get planning...actually lets get working!!!!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Life as a puzzle

Every now and again, purpose would slap me upside my face and I'd smile because I realize this is a part of me emptying myself so that whenever it is my time to die, I know I would have fulfilled what God placed me on this Earth for.

So you may be asking, what exactly does "purpose slapping me upside my face" look like? 

It looks like my original plan for my dissertation being too big and my first draft falling flat. 

It looks like me taking a step back to my original plan and remembering that I wanted to explore life as an "orphan". 

It looks like me getting an opportunity to do some volunteer work (learned about this in November) with girls who are orphaned and me being over-the-moon excited about it. So excited, I was like..."why didn't I think of that"?  

It looks like me asking myself and then God, why is it that this group of individuals pulls to me the way they do. 

Then it looks like, a friend suggesting that I work with her to potentially counsel orphans (got this request last week).  By the way, the friend knew nothing of the changes to the dissertation which came in November, neither was she aware that I will be volunteering with this group for another project next weekend.  She just thought of me as an ideal person for the task at hand.

It is not by chance, or even not by my own doing that all of these opportunities are presenting themselves. This is purpose slapping me upside the face. I'm still waiting on the full "understanding" from God about the extent of my involvement (now and in the future) with this group of individuals. I've been even wondering if this is the direction for Mercy House (not first time I've had that thought either).

I love when it happens like this...just like the pieces of the puzzle of life coming together. Some people say they don't know what their purpose is. I believe that if we take 2nd and sometimes 3rd looks around us, we can see how our talents/passions can make a change.  We can also see how we are drawn to certain things, people or groups. Somehow, like me, it just so happens that multiple opportunities present itself over and over and so you find yourself doing something that you enjoy, and never actually pursued it. That's purpose slapping you over the head.

I was so taken with this post on JeremyStatton.com this morning, that I decided to just redirect my readers there....(click title below for full post). For me, the last bullet points (white background) just made my heart scream "YES!"

Excerpt taken from the post To die is to live. Enjoy.

"The point is to be fully alive.

• To focus on doing the things that will matter forever.
• To understand the value of time and stop wasting it.
• To silence distractions.
• To focus on relationships.
• To realize that some risks are too important not to take.
• To stop worrying about failing and to start doing.
• To love because in the end, there is nothing else."

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Remaining focused

Last week was interesting. I got some indicators in the past month that my beloved and fairly new laptop was having some problems...one of which was "blue screen of death". After a quick google search last Monday, I realized that I needed to really investigate this matter. What I learned was that my hard drive was corrupted (?) I'm not sure if that was the term used, but regardless, I needed a new one....and fast before this unstable one crashed!

It is funny how, when you are stressed, how the smallest of things become major. Now, in all fairness, as a full time graduate student who is about to propose a dissertation based on research and courses from the past three years, (that are all stored on said computer), I think I legitimately had a reason to have a mini-freak out but I knew that this was so much more than that.

The very cool part of this week though, was the fact that I never once lost it. 

I began a journaling challenge about 3 weeks ago (Girlfriends in God).  Essentially, I record how God has shown up in my life each day [sudden glory moments] and since I began that, I've been more aware to ASK God to show up in specific areas. Then at the beginning of each day, I reflect and carefully review how God responded to each request from the previous day.

It also made me more aware of some moments as they are happening...I was able to smile and nod when I recognized God's hand in it. I was more aware to look for God showing up (remember my post about expectancy).  Those were the coolest...experiencing a "sudden glory moment" and recognizing it for what it is at that point.

This week was no different. As I learned more and more of what I was facing, I presented it to God each morning and asked for clarity.

Can I say, that each step of the way, I got answers. clearly. 

What it also did was minimize my anxiety about the challenge I was facing. I'll be honest and share that although it may have minimized anxiety about the computer situation, I still had other lessons to learn (part two to come)... In any event, the week was THAT much better because each day, I took my cares and requests to God and then looked for Him to show up and/or reveal the answer.

How was your week last week? Any lessons learned? Better yet...what were your glory moments?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

What are you hoping for?

Yesterday, I spent a good chunk of time (at least 3.5 hrs) working on my dissertation proposal. YaY me! That is huge ya'll...seriously. Anyway, my dissertation (final research project for a doctoral degree) is on hope. I'm proposing a new way to think about hope..more than just a feeling or a soft-feel-good-word.

Being engrossed in all that literature about hope, made me think of my own hopes...[Not to bore you] In my proposal, hope is a process (not a state). It is something that changes. It involves our feelings, our thoughts, our actions and even influences from external sources (other people).  I suggest that to truly hope, you have identified a goal (object, event or thing) that you are hoping for. It is for the future (immediate, mid or distant). You not only identify the goal, but you have identified ways to get the goal. You can't "hope" for something to happen without a plan...that's just mushy feelings. You also can't hope for something, with a plan and not do something to make it happen...or get the help of others to make it happen, that's just lazy (unless of course you've already done your part and now you are waiting). With that in mind, it is possible to be hopeful and still have feelings of doubt. I'll admit that my levels of hope toward the goal of finishing this doctorate has waned every now and again. ;)

To hope requires our conscious thought and actions but it usually starts with a dream. You've got to identify something to be hopeful toward.

What about you..what are you hoping for?

If you find that you do not have any hope, close your eyes and dream. You can *think* about the dream later...but just be free. What are your passions? What do you love doing? What do you feel is missing?

As the letter says above...I believe there is ALWAYS hope. My greatest hope is in God. His word says that those who hope in Him will never be ashamed. The hope I have in Him, is that He is who He says He is. That He will do everything that He says He will do. That I am everything He has said I am. From that hope, I'm free to have another hundred (or more) hopes. :D

Grace peace and love,
Gia