check-in

Hollla

It's May 19th and instead of preparing to go to Canada for a check-in (and possible progress meeting)- I've just barely finished the first draft of 1 of the 3 final chapters for the dissertation.

Disappointed much? yup, indeedy!

However, the extent of busy that my life is, leaves me no time to have a pity party. I've chosen to celebrate the completed draft of Chapter IV.

And here I am-  pecking away at Chapter V...with hopes of completing that in the next 2 weeks. Yes, another aggressive deadline but this time, I actually have time off (and away) so it should be a teensy bit quieter for me to get the focused time and energy to really pull it off.

As it stands, I can still make a defence by mid/end of August and that is the most reasonable case scenario. By far, not the best as it means I will have to pay for the full Summer 2014 semester, but better than not completing and having to enroll in Fall 2014 semester!

However, either of those options, still have me aligned for graduation on October 18th and I guess it is that which keeps me motivated.

So that's me.

Little Miss Daelyn Grace is quite the character. She's seriously developing too quickly and each day I look and squeeze her to try and infuse the Daelyn-of-that-moment to my memory. Life tells me that she will be 1 and then probably 11 before I know. That thought of that is quite overwhelming in and of itself but alas, time waits on no one and I am very appreciative a child who is growing, developing, and maturing in a timely fashion.

Hopefully the next time I come, I can say that I have submitted the entire document and looking to schedule (or have scheduled) that very important meeting.

Grace, peace, and love,
Gia

its that time...again

I'm going to have to take a sabbatical from my weekly musings.

There is simply too much going on. I need to begin widdling down on all my "extras", so without a doubt, I can make this self-imposed, yet necessary deadline of the end of April to have this dissertation written up. At this point, I'm barely beginning with analyses so this is quite a tall order but in light of the financial demands of enrolling in another full semester---I need to put (in Bahamianese) ERRYTING toward this. sigh. I'm already tired but I'm going to rest in the grace for this season.

Before I know it- it will be August 2014, and I'll be done (dissertation defended and last hours of internship completed). Before I know it again, it will be October 18th and I'll be grinning from ear to ear as I walk across the stage with the big fluffy gown and funny-looking hat on my neatly twisted locs and receive the certificate that says Giavana Jones, PhD.

It is for that vision that I push.

So, until I've gotten to a better place with all my demands...I bid you adieu. see ya later.

BUT I can't leave without giving you something to chew on this week...I read this this morning and it was JUST what I needed. Hopefully it does the same encouraging for you.

God makes everything come out right; he puts victims back on their feet. He showed Moses how he went about his work, opened up his plans to all Israel. God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him. He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we’re made of mud. Men and women don’t live very long; like wildflowers they spring up and blossom, But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly, leaving nothing to show they were here. God ’s love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him, Making everything right for them and their children as they follow his Covenant ways and remember to do whatever he said. (Psalm 103:6-18 MSG)

Grace, peace, and love (until our next),
Gia

overstay your welcome

I was having a conversation yesterday and it was one of those moments that I share wisdom without even realizing it.

In a nutshell, the person is experiencing some friction at work. I've been privy to the ins and outs and as I explained to him, he's experiencing the adult-child living at home syndrome. Essentially, he's outgrown the structure and "culture" of the home life. This can be defined in a number of ways but at the end of the day- it is time to move on.  If he doesn't move on, then he's going to need to concede to their demands (regardless of how nonsensical it may seem) because at the end of the day, like my dad always told us...its their house!

Change is never easy. But I'm a firm believer that there are seasons in life and we've got to be aware of when those change so that we can adjust accordingly. In the case of the above referenced person: his season with that company is done. He knows it, his boss knows it, I think the coworkers know it...but still nothing is being done to prepare for the next step.

If you are here and feeling similarly, like you have worn out your welcome...you are constantly frustrated and just "done" with your current circumstances. My challenge to you is to not end up out on your butt with your suitcase next to you [and no back up plan] as a result of being kicked out. Your time now should be spent creating or finding, the next step. For him, he's ready to go on his own. That means defining the service to be offered, ensuring that he's got a niche in the market (no sense going to do what someone else is already doing if there are untapped avenues) and writing out the business plan. For others it may mean, defining what your next position looks like. Do you want to change careers or just employers? Since you are changing anyway, are there specifics that you want included? e.g. health benefits? a specific location? flexi-time? The next steps include updating the resume/CV and canvassing organizations that fit what you want.

Life is seriously too short to live and be unhappy. To live your best life, you must be ever present. Living on yesterday's glory or in a season that is done will surely bring frustration and unfulfillment. I remember feeling like this about 5 years ago. My "next step" was to pursue the PhD. I've just returned to that organization where I left [well technically took a break from]..but I know this return is for an even shorter time than before. The goal is to finish this PhD, then leave. In the meantime, I am setting myself up for the next step.

Do not allow fear to keep you someplace where you know you have outgrown. If necessary, seek assistance with preparing for the next steps (the entire field of coaching is dedicated to this kind of work) and lets get moving!!!

Remember if you are like me and have multiple ideas, plans and goals. Streamline, define, and plan how each will be rolled out. Timing is key. As a friend just recently told me:

"Gia you can't birth two babies at the same time unless they are twins"

strategic. smart. steady

Are you ready? lets goooooooooooooo!

Grace peace love and forward movement,
Gia

Parenting

Its been 6 months ya'll!!!!!! Daelyn Grace was officially 6 months on January 31st. I'm happy to report that most of the tired, overwhelmedness and anxiousness is gone. No more zombie-mommy. Left in its place is fun. Tons of laughter, silly faces, poop (and more poop), feeding, sleeping and yes...a bit of tired. :)

As some of you know, motherhood was a scary idea for me. I mean, I've spent almost 10 years studying the field of psychology, 2 of those years, specifically looking at counselling and boy oh boy...I've seen how easy it is to screw up a person. That alone made me think twice, no three times about being a parent.

But yea, putting all that aside, I mean, I think every parent wants the best for their little person. Me being who I am (over-achiever, well-read, a bit organic) set some high goals for this little one. I really wanted to try and be as natural as possible with her. That started with pregnancy (healthy lifestyle- was achieved). 2. Then labor, but that didn't work. oh well. epidural AND surgery was required for my sweet princess to get here safely.

3. Exclusive breast-feeding. done it...6 months and going strong.

4. :clears throat: cloth diapering. yup...6 months and now its getting real now that we've begun to introduce solids. :/

5. No (or very limited pre-made baby food). I mean seriously. its pureed veggies and fruits. How hard could that be? hahaha well I'm a couple weeks in and it really isn't that bad. I'm fascinated though. When I make it fresh, it can only stay refriegerated for 3 days (frozen for 6 months). SO I'm left to wonder what Gerber be puttin in their all-natural baby food why it can stay on the shelf (not even the fridge) for + 6 months. (insert deep sigh here).

from top moving clockwise: freezer with expressed breastmilk and her veggies for next two weeks.
storage container with her  fresh pureed peas. pumpkin after it was baked. magic bullet with greens
happy baby with a really dirty mouth (ironically, she was eating canned prunes which I did NOT make)

I have some other really ambitious goals, but all-in-all, it boils down to wanting the best for the lil princess. I figure we aim realllly high and if we don't make it- we still do "great". Rather than not setting goals at all and then its just "come what may".

The cool thing is- hubs and I realize that in order to maintain this lifestyle for her, we are going to have to make some lifestyle changes.

For example, we don't want her eating fast food (I mean really- makes no sense for me to slave over the stove as a baby and then just quit when she's a toddler/child)...I'm determined to not allow anything beyond the taste of a french fry before 3 years old. After that...well it will be for special occasions. The reality of this hit us as I sat near dying from hunger (being dramatic) in Wendy's drive-through line. oops guess that can't be happening too often. I mean, what we gonna say.."no babygirl, you can't have what mommy and daddy are eating!"

And for this, I am grateful for the responsibility of parenting. It is yet another thing to make me a better person. To help me do better. To make me more aware, conscious, and responsible for some of the basic things that I do.

So, to infinity and beyond..that's exactly how high I'm shooting! ;)

Grace, peace, love and pureed green beans!
Gia

looking forward...excitedly

this is the year of the dream chasing!

As I alluded to last time, there are quite a bit of milestones that I am looking forward to this year. As I completed my 5 year plan, I was challenged to create a 10 year plan. While I have yet to complete this, I've begun to hash out the details for this year's goals.

Two of which are about to be launched! Exciting right? yes! I'm looking forward to February which will hopefully launch my soon-to-be National Premarital group program, One Accord; and also launch the beginnings of Timothy Education Project Bahamas.

The irony of this is, all of a sudden, I'm super busy and in greater demand. I can't remember the last time I had or was invited for a speaking engagement. However, in the past 3 days- I've had two invites. Additionally, a writing commitment I made months ago..like maybe almost a year- suddenly has a deadline (in 2 weeks). This isn't to mention, another writing commitment I made in December that is still ongoing. And a new coordinator project that occurs in March. Yes, I am busy. wooptee-doo right? what's the big deal?

Well the big deal is that, while all these "extras" are super awesome...particularly for my own development and exposure (if I am to think about my own benefits)- these can actually be hindrances...dare I say blockers to my goals. 

Luckily for me, I learned the hard way, that I am not superwoman (see here). Also, this writing commitment made in December has been kicking my butt and made me realize that I don't have to 1. quickly answer/respond to an invitation. 2. I don't always have to say yes (no is a viable answer). Instead, what I need to do is consider what I've already committed to (what exactly are the tasks and responsibilities for this new "thing"?). Further, consider how those commitments fit in with my family's schedule...because afterall, I do have a 6 month old that still needs her momma (not to mention a busy husband that needs his wife). And finally consider how those commitments fit into my plan for attaining my goals. 

So I did something I don't think I've ever done before. I said "no". And guess what? It didn't kill me.  Although, it did hurt because in each instance, it was something that I didn't mind doing. Something for a good purpose---just not necessarily, MY PURPOSE right now. To this end, as I write, I feel free...rather than what I would have felt--which would have been overwhelmed. I will finish what I started (both writing commitments) and I accepted the short-term coordinator project because that occurs March-April and is for a defined time period and it doesn't require any extra on my part. side note: when counting the cost, its important to accurately estimate the time required. Some things sound simple but take a lot -perfect examples are speaking and writing tasks which can be very time/energy consuming when considering the time needed to prepare for it.

So as I leave...are you busy? overwhelmed? resenting the commitments you made? its time to set some clear and healthy boundaries.  Before responding to anything, take some time (even if it requires a follow up phone call) to consider the "cost".

If you are busy doing good...but its not purposeful, then I think its still a waste of your time eh? 

Grace, peace, love and purposeful living,

Gia

...what do you do?

I'm tired ya'll.

Sadly, I didn't realize it (or admit it) until someone at church asked me how I'm doing. If I'm happy. I go on to talk about Daelyn Grace, being a mom, adjusting...she nods and then asks again. I'm like yea, thinking to myself that I just explained all this. Then she clarifies,

"Gia, I mean aside from your role as mother. Aside from Daelyn. How are you? Are YOU happy?"

And then I stopped. 

I had two choices. To answer a quick yes with my trademark smile. Or to really think about it and give her an honest answer. Because our church is built upon authenticity, building real relationships, and "doing life together"- I chose the latter. And what I admitted, surprised even me.

"I'm not sure if I'm happy. I mean, I'm okay. but....I'm....tired"

:gasps to myself: As I process this, I realize that this isn't only physical fatigue. Nor only emotional. Its everything. I'm getting to *that* point, that time where I need a break or will break. :( I promised myself last time that I would be better about taking things in strides. Resting regularly (physical, emotional, mental). But now as I think about it..the things that I do to rejuve have been hampered a bit by life.

reading (novel) in the middle of the night while/after I've nursed baby (not a good new habit at all).
quiet time (prayer, bible reading, dancing, listening to music, meditating) sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the morning but most often nothing...or at least not as much.
watching a good [holiday] movie (sigh) well, the tv belongs to hubby and as long as there is something sport-related on and believe me, there is ALWAYS something on, I either watch that or watch online.
getting a pedicure, salon visit insert giggle here. yea...last pedicure was probably Jan 2013. :/ car challenges
being involved in church (corporate prayer, worship, fellowship) car challenges
spending time with family and friends my saving grace. Because I've been car-less, I've had to rely heavily on others and simultaneously, I've also gotten quite a bit of time with family. However, I've had no time with hubby without baby. gee, to think of it, no time with anyone without baby. 
talk therapy (or writing/journaling) my blog has become my journal. I have people to talk to but I personally hate always talking about my "problems". Writing helps in cases like this or when the person you talk to does not understand [men are really from another planet than us women ;)]
me time...car challenges 
exercise ... :) no excuse since I've got a stationary bike but I've been dying to get outside and walk.


So, that's my list of activities that I find  rejuvenating, restful and helpful to add balance to the crazy of life.

Where are you? tired or at rest? What activities do you have to unwind, rejuvenate, or rest?

As you can see, my life isn't quite where I would want it to be. But I understand this is for a season and because of that, I'll continue to thug it out. It's important to recognize though (especially during the hustle and bustle of this joyous season which also culminates the year), that fatigue, whether emotional, mental and/or physical, has implications for you. For me,  when I get tired, I get easily irritated. Less patient. I experience physical pain/discomfort. I get more emotional/needy, as my love tank drains faster. Overall, not the most pleasant person to be around.

So I need to rejuve. I'll have to settle for watching holiday movies online. Reading when I can...and possibly finding some new ways to rejuve and rest given my new conditions (another person to care for, no car). Afterall, life is about adaptation. I mean really, we either adapt or we die, eh?

Join me in first, taking stock of your physical, emotional and mental well-being. Then, ensuring that you are regularly engaging in activities to balance and maintain overall health.

Grace, peace, love, and rest,
Gia

walking the talk...

For as long as I can remember, I've talked about gratitude and peace. As with everything, its always easy to talk; however the weight of it is experienced during "tests". At this time we see whether or not that which we've been talking about is truly what we are walking out.

True story. :)

Last week I found myself sitting in a borrowed car that wouldn't start, trying my hardest to remain composed. I was done. Just over it. Ready to scream. This was not the first time since I borrowed the car  that it chose to not start. However, this was only Day 3 that I had the car and this is a car, that for as long as my sister has had it, has NEVER given her problems. It was a really rough moment.
Here is a snippet of my inner dialogue.

[literally] talking to myself: "Come on Gia, take a deep breath. Its okay."
slowly look around and think to self after a couple slow deep breaths

"I guess it could be worse..."

Then IT happened. The shift.

In that one statement and action (slowing down, regulating my emotions) my thoughts went to this: "wow. I'm stuck but its in a well lit busy gas station, on a main road, less than 15 minutes from home. My husband isn't available, but my dad is and he is on his way. The weather is cool, so Daelyn Grace is comfortable as she is sleeping in her car seat in the back seat. I've got battery life on my phone to make calls if necessary." 

I then realized that I was literally okay. 

From this way of thinking, I had plenty to be thankful for...safety, support/help, alternative means of getting home, sanity (baby sleeping and comfortable)...etc etc etc

Did my new shift in thinking change the conditions? No.  the car still didn't start.
Was I still bummed that the car I borrowed, was giving me problems? - yes

But in my disappointment, I refused to get all upset and burdened by something I had no control over. I chose to adjust my thinking and literally stay positive.

I then moved on. Made necessary arrangements for car to be dealt with (all that was within my control), then let it go.

I wish that was all to this story but later that week, a similar occurrence happened as I found myself driving buttercup (my "new" SUV) after  it just came from mechanic (getting an expensive engine head) and realized that it still wasn't drivable because now the brakes weren't holding.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh seriously... AGAIN????????

I'll admit. It wasn't as easy to adjust and shift now. In fact, a day later I'm still fighting to choose gratitude and peace over frustration and worry. I got a timely reminder from my mom though. In a simple one sentence text, she acknowledged the trend of unfortunate events, but reminded me to still give thanks. 

As I reluctantly forced myself to find something (anything) to be thankful for in this never-ending expensive saga, I actually found a couple things. I was thankful that the battery died BEFORE it tore the belt possibly resulting in a very bad outcome if it occurred while driving. I was also thankful that although the brakes weren't holding, the time and day I was driving meant that there was virtually no other cars on the road, and still in full day light so there was no need for sudden braking. pretty big deals huh? yea I know.

So I've been super conscious to not complain. To not go through the self-pity route. To not sit and worry about what could be or should be. 

Hopefully your days, week, season has been a little easier than mine, if not- join me as I've decided to simply:

1. ask for grace [serenity] to accept that which I cannot change (i.e. move on, let go).

2. ask for the insight, resources, and energy to make changes/correct/fix that which I can

3. and finally, I've asked for wisdom to know the difference.

Grace peace and love,

Gia 

don't sweat the small stuff

Yesterday, I was in Eleuthera. Rock Sound, Eleuthera to be exact. I was there for a couple hours, you know fly in the morning and leave that afternoon. I knew about the trip about a week in advance, but last week was fairly crazy and ultimately, I didn't get the opportunity to purchase my ticket until Friday. Upon arriving at travel agent, I was informed that the flight I needed to get on was full and it was only one flight into this particular town. Now, luckily for me (and my last minutedness), there are 3 airports on this island and the next airport had a flight leaving out 40 minutes later than the one I needed AND there was availability. YaY!! I quickly booked the flight and proceed on my merry way. There was some questions as to how I would get down to where I needed to be (which was an hour away) but I didn't really pay much attention to this. Small detail.

If you know me though, by now, I would normally be a bit on edge. One, I didn't get the flight I was supposed to get and then, I now had to figure out additional transportation arrangements. However, and I blame Daelyn Grace, I just didn't have the time or energy to stress about this (or other small stuff) now that she is here.  As a side note: if you know the islands, you know that most people there are genuinely friendly, cooperative, and accommodating. I was sure I could find a ride down (yes, possibly with a stranger) or worse case scenario, pay a taxi down.

I arrived at airport that morning at 6:15 (1 hr before scheduled departure time),  checked in and went about my business (still not very concerned). As I am boarding the flight, I learn that the flight I wanted/needed to be on was "cancelled" and those who had checked in, were re-routed to our location (on my flight). Upon arrival at our location, they would be transported by ground to Rock Sound.

Woohoo, I not only got to have an extra hour with my baby (who was up for feeding from 4:30-5:15 that morning) but now I even get transportation down to the town I needed to be in!!!

Ironically, the day got even more interesting as I somehow managed to travel on the wrong day. Seriously, don't ask me how I managed that. Once again though, I took it and kept on moving. It literally all worked out fairly seamslessly despite the fact that the school was expecting me later that week.

I not sure if I needed to travel that day or if God, in his great mercy, stepped in and worked out things on my behalf despite my flubbers. But as I moved through the day, I had a greater appreciation for how futile "worry" is in our lives. Had I gotten flustered from Friday with the first disappointing news, it would not have added anything to the overall experience. In fact, it would have taken away, as I probably would have expended so much energy that I would have been more tired.

As a Christian, reflecting on the past events, I couldn't help but think about the passage of scripture in Matthew 6 on worry. I went looking for it and found this very interesting translation. I don't even need to expound --its so easy to understand.

25-26 “If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

27-29 “Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

30-33 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Verse 34 is EVERYTHING. I'm gonna need to commit that to memory for the next time I decide to sweat the small (or even the big) stuff.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

who's excited?!?!

Our praise and worship leader at church is now famous for this question. Although the response...her response is what's EPIC, the question is asked and the response is.....(wait for it).....

I AM!! 

(With the biggest grin you can find anywhere!)

Now I'll be honest, it's been a great year for me...an even greater 3 months with our princess but even with all this, I've managed to allow one situation in particular, to consistently poke a hole and allow my joy to seep out. That is being car-less. Feeling like my independence has been stripped from me. So I've been lamenting and brooding and just being sour in regards to this. The process of finding the car was delayed, then took longer than usual (once we actually got started looking). The transportation of the car (from US to Nassau) was delayed (its now almost 4 weeks since car was purchased) and now...now that the car is actually here -in the country- it's now day 3 and I still don't "possess" it. Yet another delay.

BUT and here's what I FINALLY figured out yesterday, despite the months of waiting, looking, moaning. Despite the fact that I've returned to "work", where transportation is required...despite every scenario I can present. Each time, it's worked out. Definitely not in the way I prefer, i.e. my OWN car---- but once again I see the strength of my support system where friends, family and even colleagues have rallied to assist when/where they could. I see this as, the grace and faithfulness of God.

How bout that??

However, instead of each afternoon being grateful for what was provided each day-I often mumbled some more...totally missing the opportunity for gratitude.

So this morning, it was something else, something totally unrelated to the car situation that reminded me that I should still be excited with anticipation for good news. And it was then that I realized or more accurately, was reminded of what really matters.

So today, I AM EXCITED!! But ironically this excitement has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that this evening when I come back home, a new car *could* be parked in our driveway but the fact that I'm alive, I know my purpose and I can do something today to bring me one step to fulfilling/living fully in that!!

Are you excited? Maybe to get excited again, like me, it may require shifting focus from the small and maybe insignificant. It may require revisiting the big picture. It may mean setting new goals so you have something to be excited about. Also, be sure to do inventory and find what may be sapping your joy. Life's too short and we only live once. :D

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Puzzle of life

I subscribe to the idea that we are not here to float around. Each person has a purpose and life is best experienced, is fully lived, when we are functioning in that purpose.

Now I say "purpose" which seems singular but I think it goes without saying that one's life statement/mission statement may consist of a number of things. For me, I'm all about fostering hope and building communities. Sometimes this is done one person at a time, in other instances, its done via small groups/communities. I want to see each individual I am in contact with to first, know themselves (their identity and purpose), secondly, to live a whole life (with a focus on psychological and spiritual health) and finally, to be in pursuit of their life goals.

Additionally, I believe in connections. We are relational beings and as such, we thrive in healthy relationships and communities. More than relationships though, I believe that what I do (or am meant to do) is directly tied to someone else and so on. Frederick Beuchner best said it:

"The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt."

 I've said all this because I had a situation this past week which made me realize how real this interconnectedness is.

I've been avoiding counselling for awhile now. For those of you that know my story, I spent 2 years completing a Master degree which equipped me with the skills needed for therapy but somewhere in the past 10 years since I obtained the degree, I kinda just wrote it off. It was helpful; I've got some skills that are helpful in life in general, and I've definitely become a more self-aware person which is great so I was happy. Just recently, this month in particular, I've had a number of requests for therapy. I've also had people refer others to me for therapy. Each time this occurred, I gave the blank stare.

Maybe not directly as that was rude..but in my head it was a "ummm not quite; I'm not interested" response.

As I was mumbling to myself about how its weird that recently I've been getting so many requests (most of which are people willing to pay), I was humbly reminded (by an acquaintance) in a nutshell....that counselling is a part of my calling. That conversation, and ensuing personal conversation (you know the ones you have with yourself) really made me stop and think - I do have a gift and while the past may not have created the ideal scenario/environment to use my talents, that didn't mean that I needed to totally walk away from it.

Here is where the story gets interesting. After a quick conversation with one of the individuals who was seeking counselling, I walked away unnerved as I realize that I may have almost hindered her from health/wholeness/purposeful living because of my own issues. Because I had ignored her/turned her down, she just figured that this meant it wasn't meant to be and was quite content to walk away, not looking back and settling for where she was emotionally/psychologically.

I never want to be THAT person; you know, the one who is so caught up in herself that she forgets that her talents and gifts are important, essential to others.

“Pull a thread here and you’ll find it’s attached to the rest of the world.”

― Nadeem Aslam, The Wasted Vigil

I leave you to think about your place in this web, this puzzle of life. We are all interconnected and if I don't do my part, there is a tangible missing piece from the puzzle of life. Don't downplay or ignore your talents, gifts and passions for you never know who needs it.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn- part 2

Once I'm living and breathing, I want to learn. 

To this end, I've made a personal commitment to myself to find lessons in every (or as many) of my life experiences as possible. As a 30-something new mom, I found myself overwhelmed...with love and stress at the same time as each moment since July 31st, 2013 presented a new and sometimes unpredictable experience. :) As I reflected, I realized that the lessons I learned in the past two months really could be applicable to many instances where we are faced with challenges or an overwhelming, new experience.  If this is your first time stumbling upon this blog, or haven't visited in awhile, you can find Part 1 here.

So here we goooo....

girls day out

Third, set reasonable goals/expectations for yourself. In my example, I found that Daelyn Grace would not be put down for a significant period of time, so I had to give up  trying to do anything major. I quickly learned the beauty of those baby carriers/slings for being mobile and keeping my hands free but it was still only so much I could do. Instead of bucking my head constantly to the wall because I wasn't getting to keep the house spik-and-span, nor could I finish a report for a project I started in my internship, I learned to take what I could get; do what I could and keep it moving. More important (and more reasonable) goals were eating, keeping hydrated, resting and keeping myself clean. Those were big enough challenges to add the "other stuff". And to be honest, at the end of the day life kept moving on.  

Fourth, don't compare your situation to others.  Its unnecessary frustration. While there are similarities which bond us together as humans (see point #2), each of us is unique.  We have different personalities/temperament, different past experiences, different resources...and the list goes on. Each of these differences creates a somewhat personalized experience for each of us. Learn from others' experiences and the experts, but recognize that while these may be helpful, it may not be a perfect fit. Find what works for you and make no apologies about pursuing that solution.

Fifth, find time for yourself away from situation. This may be more specific to my experience, but even if your challenge/experience is not a tangible thing...sometimes we get so caught up that we ruminate.  "Rumination is defined as the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences" -thanks Wikipedia! Essentially in this 5th lesson, I'm challenging you to step away, to stop thinking/stressing over the problem. Distract yourself -not to the extent that you never face it- but to the point that it does not consume you. At this point, you can no longer think straight and honestly, we end up in unhealthy thought and behavioral patterns.  For me, I had to learn that great moms know and accept that they need help and they need breaks/time alone and when I do get those breaks to not sit and worry over what baby is doing. ;))

That's it! Well, wait...since this is Canadian thanksgiving- I guess there is one more lesson...find something to be thankful for. I know this is similar to point #1, where I urge you to give yourself a hug but the difference is, here you are now taking inventory of the good that exists...maybe its the helpful friend/family member, maybe its the fact that you are getting paid and are financially stable despite the circumstances. Maybe its the roof over your head, the food in your belly or for me, my husband, my new baby, my loveable dog and the plethora of those I call family (blood or otherwise).

Grace, peace, love and a grateful heart,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn-part 1

Okay. It is officially 2 days shy of 10 weeks since life was changed!!!!!! Miss Daelyn Grace is growing like a weed...literally. Like seriously her weight and length is about the size of an average 4 month old. (insert blank stare here). I'm gonna not only be skinny (breastfeeding DOES cause you to lose weight without doing NOTHING) but my arms are also gonna be buff as she constantly requires rocking, cuddling, holding and bouncing. :D

Anyway, despite the fact that my life currently revolves around her, my plan is to continue to blog about passion, purpose, life and other randomness and not turn this into a baby blog. Sadly, life and randomness are all baby-centered for me as I have not yet returned to work and my involvement in other non-baby activities (eg dissertation, church, etc) have been few and far between. BUT as I sat and thought about what I could share I realized that some lessons I've learned from these past 2 months could be applied to almost any challenging situation.

So...here we go!

First, give yourself some credit. Yes, things may not be as you like it and you may seem like you are flailing about or even failing but I can assure you, it is not 100% bad. Recognize that there are some bright spots and celebrate them. After all, life in general is filled with challenges. Furthermore living life according to kingdom principles becomes even "harder", simply because it goes against our automatic nature and against what everyone else is doing.  In short---Celebrate you. Celebrate your triumphs. Celebrate life.

Second, talk to your someone in your circle- its cathartic. Keeping things in is counter to our mental and physical health. You will quickly find that you may not be the only person in this situation.  Its amazing how similar our experiences are as humans but yet when we go through tough times/challenges, we tend to isolate rather than congregate.  Of course you can't share with everyone, not even everyone in your support network, but definitely find someone to talk to.
Also, if the situation involves someone else, find the right time and place and discuss it with them. One word of caution: it is important how you approach the conversation. Therapy teaches about "I...you" statements. For example, "I feel drained when you.....". This allows us to express our feelings without coming off like we are attacking the other person. The cool thing about this conversation is that sometimes this conversation reveals that the person just did not know...Sadly, many major conflicts start because people aren't on the same page. Anyway...in short, we are made to commune. To live together. To be a support to each other. When we are at our low, that is when this becomes vitally important.

Until next week...

Grace peace and love,
Gia

One month later...

Yesterday made one month since our lives were forever changed. Daelyn Grace is growing....rapidly (already has a double chin and rolls in her thighs) and mommy and daddy are somewhat gaining some sense of normalcy.

We've been blessed with amazing family and friends who have been uber supportive and helpful...if only with sending an encouraging text or a short phone call (whenever I have a free hand to answer). Speaking of hands, these two hands have seemingly multiplied. I thought I could multi-task but this is another dimension. Amazing what toes can do too!

My mom and mother-in-law have been indispensable with cooking, cleaning and sometimes just taking her from me in between feedings. Unfortunately, that sometimes is only 45 minutes as I am exclusively breastfeeding (EBF) and she has not yet been introduced to the bottle.  That we are only EBF'ing has been THE biggest challenge and I now totally and completely understand why many moms choose to supplement and breast feed, or only end up breastfeeding for a couple days/weeks or totally just formula feed from the beginning. The struggle is real!

I'm typing now in this rare 5 minutes (this actually took more than one nap session)...I technically should be trying to eat but I really wanted to blog. I've got babygirl here next to me "sleeping" on the bed and she's coo'ing and grunting and making other random noises as she flitters in between sleep and wake. Someone should have warned me that newborns are rather noisy. Who knew? It was quite disconcerting those first nights/days with her...it was like..."ummm did she swallow animals?"

I've learned soooooo much these past 31 days...about myself, and about infants/newborns and even a little bit about our culture. I find my prayer life has doubled as I am often times clueless and just need the comfort of that heavenly connection. I've become stronger, a tad bit wiser and definitely have had to make some interesting decisions.

Tecnically the "newborn" stage is done and although emotionally and physically exhausting, it was enjoyed. I kissed, cuddled, smiled, and was just woo'ed by this beauty. I am looking forward to the next couple weeks when a routine is established as she moves from that unpredictable-getting-adjusted-to-the-outside-world stage, where I will have a bit more independence and freedom (the only time we leave the house has been for doctors appointments) and I can also jump back on the dissertation wagon (hopefully longer deep naps).

As I leave (for whoever knows how long), here is one of the pictures for her room. It was inspired (almost a duplicate) of an image I saw online and just personalized for my little princess.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

the flashlight

Last week, we had an interesting encounter with the flashlight. We were spending time with a family member and she had just recently gotten this flashlight. It was new and cool so hubby decided to test it out; this required putting the battery in and clicking the button on...simple enough right?

Right.

That process took literally upwards of 10 minutes. This is with multiple attempts by at least two people to get the cover screwed back on. At one point, as I sat fairly amused, yet semi bored, I suggested that they look closer at the battery to ensure that all extra coverings/parts were removed. I was immediately reassured that this was done and this was not the reason why the cover refused to snap back on. I shrugged and left it alone.

Finally, and maybe almost 15 minutes later, it was noticed  that there was a thin black covering on one of the battery prongs and this small, thin, and very insignificant protective piece literally impeded the flashlight from being put back together and being useful.

As I smugly smiled to myself (yes, I had a moment of gloating), I couldn't help but think how similar this is to life.

1. There were no instructions (for the flashlight or for life).

2. It seems that it can be done by intuition or common sense.

3. Very small things impede productivity (or successful living).

It also made me think of my role in the process. I was very hands off. I sat and watched. I wasn't invited to assist or give input and for that, my input was minimal (other than the one statement earlier in the process). However (ironically), the one piece of input I did offer was brushed off/ignored but happened to be the "key" to the problem; it seemed too simple to be the reason why the flashlight was not being put back together.

How often has the solution to the problem been a really really simple answer? Or how many times have we received the answer, but because it seemed too obvious, too small, too simple that we ignored it?

For those of us who are Christians, how often has the "still small voice" (Holy Spirit) given us a nudge, or a directive and we've ignored it (intentionally or not)? In the Bahamas, we refer to our intuition (which I'd like to think is the Holy Spirit) as "one mind". I can't tell you the amount of times I've said:

"one mind told me I should have checked the glove compartment." (fill in the details to make it relevant). He's there, waiting for us to ask for direction and/or clarification. The truth is that He won't push Himself on us, or in the situation even though He knows ALL. We've got to slow down, humble ourselves and actually ask. And then, once we ask- it behooves us that we should maybe take heed to the answer. ;)

I guess the lesson I walked away with, wasn't that I was a genius but it really made me think a couple times over the past couple days about how many times had I been stuck and the answer was staring me right in the face. Additionally, because hind sight is 100%, I look back and realize that there was an indication of this but due to whatever other circumstance I overlooked or ignored it.

Life may not come with explicit instructions and it may seem that we can conquer it with common sense but I've accepted and challenge you to consider using The Guide for the big and the small situations.

After all, what do you have to lose?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

update

That's about me...except I'm not that cute. lol.

I missed last week, not because I was sick but because I was too busy...which I'm almost 99.5% certain is the reason I'm sick. My body has finally said.."ENOUGH!". I don't have much of a runny noise, but I've got an annoying cough and most times I talk, I can't get two sentences out without a mini coughing fit or without the raspy-not-so-sexy hoarse voice. :)

I think we all can relate to the saying "when it rains, it pours". Well, that's been me the past month or so (not the month of June, but the past 4 weeks or more). Its the end of the semester, which means data collection is in full drive. One set of demands.

Its also marks the beginning of the summer period for students, and a part of my internship is assisting with the training for summer youth camp instructors. Those trainings begun about 3 weeks ago and although very fun...its a lot. Did I mention that we have 4 days of training back to back this week? not sure how I'm going to present (while coughing with a raspy voice) but we'll figure something out.

Then to top it all off, we are STILL moving. like seriously? I NEVER imagined this would take this long or be this tedious. I've moved before...a couple times but what I underestimated was moving to a place that was not "move-in" ready. Our new abode is my childhood home, and outside of the flooding that occured almost island wide 3 weeks ago, we also learnt of a leak in the roof and then had an entire week of non-stop rain. Our landlords were gracious to give us an extra week, which is why I'm probably still sane, because if we had to leave as planned for May 31st...well, it would not have been cute.

I know what you are thinking or screaming: SLOW DOWN WOMAN! BUT No need for alarm. Outside of the cold/cough that I've developed, I've been keeping hydrated, resting each night (well when heartburn or acid reflux doesn't keep me up) and overall, I feel good...I'm keeping it balanced. This is just a season. If all goes well, by next Monday's blog post, I should be passed the "moving" and having some fun with getting the nursery set up. I'll also be done with data collection and will be just sorting, organizing, "processing" all the data (which is done at my own pace)and all of the trainings should be done. I say *should* because we may have to add another round..but without the other demands, the workshops/trainings become almost kind of fun. ;)

Before I close, I do want to add, that despite that crazy I feel juggling physical demands- emotionally/psychologically and spiritually, I feel fine. In fact, I feel great.  For the past almost 2 weeks, most mornings I would wake up singing:

I want the joy of the Lord to come now

I want the joy of the Lord to fall now

I want the joy of the Lord in my life

I want the joy of the Lord lift me

I want the joy of the Lord change me

I want the joy of the Lord in my life

Its time I started dancing over all these graves

Its time I gave you all my God the highest place

Its time I lift my voice

and beg for His blessing to fall (Lyrics from eLyrics.net)

What's kept/keeping me....JOY. Wouldn't trade it for the world. I hear joy and I automatically think of that Pageant scene from Coming To America...say it with me...JOY!!!!!

Just in case you don't know what I am talking about....check this out (the JOY comes right before the first minute mark).

Grace peace love and JOY,

Gia

Mrs. Fix-it-all?

I've been getting life lessons from everything recently. I'm not sure if this is greater sensitivity or my season of learning but I'm enjoying making the connections and walking away each day with something to chew on.

Most recent was during my TV viewing. For those of you who are CSI followers, you would know Sarah Sidle (2nd from left in picture). She has been a part of the Las Vegas team since the show's inception. Well in the past couple weeks, one of the episodes was focused on her. Now, for those who don't know, in the perfect world of CSI techs of Las Vegas, the evidence has always worked. It's always found the guilty even for the sharper of the criminals. And I mean, they have had some really smart ones pass through the various seasons.

So with this background, you would think that when she is the person looking guilty, the person of interest in a new investigation, that she would ultimately trust her own science. She has proven it over and over and over. In the world of this drama series, she has been a CSI FOR more than 10 years.

Well, now that her back is against the wall. She doesn't trust the science. Nor does it seem that she trust her colleagues who she has worked with for years; these skilled and sharp individuals who are always on the quest for truth. To make matters worse, in her trying to salvage herself, her reputation - she then decides to isolate herself from these people, who care...the sames ones who could [would] help her.

As I watched, the realization hit and I gasped audibly...wow. How much like me sometimes!

Many times has this been me. God has shown up over and over and over and yet when things get tough-I rush to try and fix things on my own. Only to learn that I can't.

I've done less and less of this over the years as I've grown and matured but don't believe for a second that it is easy to fully trust God to work things out.  After all, I'm the woman who always have the plan..well more accurately, I try to always have plans (plural)...that is, plan A, B & sometimes C.

I've got some more introspecting to do..to see if there are any situations currently that I have intercepted, rather than waiting and trusting God. A favorite scripture of mine, Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God.

or as the amplified admonishes: "Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God."

One blogger commented: It is God's past that provides calm for our future. Essentially, that's what "being still" is about. It's not [always] a literal lack of physical movement..but a surrender of the heart. A recognition of our finite ability and God's infinite knowledge and ability. The fact that He is in control and working things out for our good.

Be encouraged...and in the moments of overwhelmedness..be still and remind yourself that God is still GOD.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Ari and the gate (Lessons from Ari)

So....we've been trying to put more structure in the Jones' house. The first of which is reminding Ari that he is a dog and not a small human.  This required getting a baby gate and putting it up to keep him from certain parts of the house.

I'll be honest, the true incentive was to keep him from  pee'ing on our bedroom carpet again. He was sick a couple weeks ago and had some accidents around the house. The bedroom was the only place, that was carpeted, where he had an accident and being a dog,  the carpet is now "marked", making him feel more inclined to revisit. I've tried vinegar and baking soda but if you have any suggestions- do share them! :/

Anyway, I digress. I was in the room sorting laundry and looked out to see the sad face behind the gate.  (black blob is him). The funny thing is, the gate has been up for a week or two but Ari has never challenged it. He has wimpered, cried, sat with "sad face" but never once pushed on it to see if it would give way. Ironically, most times the gate isn't secure. A simple push with his 14 pounds and most likely it will give way.

It got me thinking...how many times have I (we) looked at what is seemingly a "barrier" and just sat behind it. I'm not talking about being rebellious, because rules have a valid place in society. I'm talking about things that could be ours, maybe should be ours...but we settle to accept less. Even if we don't aggressively take down gates, sometimes a simple bit of asking questions or doing research would reveal that what seems to be a secure gate, is really only an appearance and whatever is behind the "gate" is accessible to whoever would challenge it.

Note again: I'm not suggesting rebellion, but more of critical assessment of the information and status quo's that we are fed. Yes, ignorance is bliss..but the ignorant are usually poor, unfulfilled and taken advantage of. I would take rich, fulfilled and empowered over blissful living anyday!

The biggest "gate" right now for me is home ownership. There are tons of "rules"...but I can't help wonder, if I get creative, if I ask questions differently, if I challenge the status quo- will I find another means to get the home that I want without having to go through the long drawn out process that I've been fed to believe is standard or required?

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Divine meets the mundane

Have you ever had one of those moments? Something happens or maybe its in the reflection of a memory and you just know this was a divine moment.

Those are beautiful, especially when life gets...well to be life. overwhelming. busy. unfair. mundane.

Recognizing and basking in these moments are reviving. refreshing. inspiring.

Have you had one of those lately, that moment where you know it was God in the midst?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Come to the fountain

Monday was a hard day. Not because of any one event...but it seemed it was just the cross-section of a lot of "stuff".  It was somewhat of that overwhelmedness that I talked about a couple weeks ago in this post. The funny thing is, when you are tired, weak, broken...then everything becomes a big deal. For example, the fact that my pants was tight around my waist was thoroughly annoying all day and somehow I started on a "I'm fat and out of shape" cry. Without going through every item that seemed to weigh in on my consciousness, just know that the list I referenced  is almost 80% done, which is a great sign of progress, but as is with life, and sometimes my personality, the list just never ends.

By the end of the day, I had nothing left. I was near tears driving in the car with my husband and realized that I did not want to get to that ugly place. I went home and decided to not do anything...that required any consciousness. So I watched tv all afternoon. Had a fairly okay evening just doing nothing and then woke up with yesterday morning, a bit more rested, with this song on my mind.

I decided to have quiet time a bit differently yesterday morning and just played this song (repeatedly) and surrendered the day and all it entails to God.  This was my way to gain "control" of my day. I decided that it was not going to mimick the previous day even though the same list of to-do's remain with even closer deadlines. As I sat with my eyes closed, the scene from the previous night's series premier of The Closer came to me. A teen was accosted at knife point by a very sick serial rapist/killer and he was instructed by the star (Kyra Sedgwick's character) to not struggle. To not move. To allow his body to go limp. Now this kid was quite familiar with this movement due to some unfortunate life circumstances but in that action of complete surrender, he was able to sliver out of the grasp of the one who threatened his life. I thought about how this can be so applicable to my situation. The more I toss and turn, the less rest and peace I'll experience. God invites me (us) to just find our rest in His arms. When we feel life's concerns overwhelming us, we should allow our body, and more importantly, our consciousness, to go limp in surrender to God.  Allow Him to come into the circumstance and just drink from the streams of life and be refreshed.

"All who are thirsty

All who are weak

Come to the fountain

Dip your heart in the stream of life

Let the pain and the sorrow

Be washed away

In the waves of his mercy

As deep cries out to deep (we sing)"

Come to the fountain, I'm already there! Psalm 42

Grace peace and love,
Gia

::PAUSE::

I feel like I'm having an elipses moment

I'm nowhere near being done with this semester but in light of the fact that we have exactly 3 weeks of classes left and I just completed another major project and am feeling comfortable (about 45% done) with another major project, I'm having an 'exhale' moment.

Not a break, not time to rest, nor let out the breath or even sleep, just an ...

because there is definitely more to go!!

smooches!