Parenting

Its been 6 months ya'll!!!!!! Daelyn Grace was officially 6 months on January 31st. I'm happy to report that most of the tired, overwhelmedness and anxiousness is gone. No more zombie-mommy. Left in its place is fun. Tons of laughter, silly faces, poop (and more poop), feeding, sleeping and yes...a bit of tired. :)

As some of you know, motherhood was a scary idea for me. I mean, I've spent almost 10 years studying the field of psychology, 2 of those years, specifically looking at counselling and boy oh boy...I've seen how easy it is to screw up a person. That alone made me think twice, no three times about being a parent.

But yea, putting all that aside, I mean, I think every parent wants the best for their little person. Me being who I am (over-achiever, well-read, a bit organic) set some high goals for this little one. I really wanted to try and be as natural as possible with her. That started with pregnancy (healthy lifestyle- was achieved). 2. Then labor, but that didn't work. oh well. epidural AND surgery was required for my sweet princess to get here safely.

3. Exclusive breast-feeding. done it...6 months and going strong.

4. :clears throat: cloth diapering. yup...6 months and now its getting real now that we've begun to introduce solids. :/

5. No (or very limited pre-made baby food). I mean seriously. its pureed veggies and fruits. How hard could that be? hahaha well I'm a couple weeks in and it really isn't that bad. I'm fascinated though. When I make it fresh, it can only stay refriegerated for 3 days (frozen for 6 months). SO I'm left to wonder what Gerber be puttin in their all-natural baby food why it can stay on the shelf (not even the fridge) for + 6 months. (insert deep sigh here).

from top moving clockwise: freezer with expressed breastmilk and her veggies for next two weeks.
storage container with her  fresh pureed peas. pumpkin after it was baked. magic bullet with greens
happy baby with a really dirty mouth (ironically, she was eating canned prunes which I did NOT make)

I have some other really ambitious goals, but all-in-all, it boils down to wanting the best for the lil princess. I figure we aim realllly high and if we don't make it- we still do "great". Rather than not setting goals at all and then its just "come what may".

The cool thing is- hubs and I realize that in order to maintain this lifestyle for her, we are going to have to make some lifestyle changes.

For example, we don't want her eating fast food (I mean really- makes no sense for me to slave over the stove as a baby and then just quit when she's a toddler/child)...I'm determined to not allow anything beyond the taste of a french fry before 3 years old. After that...well it will be for special occasions. The reality of this hit us as I sat near dying from hunger (being dramatic) in Wendy's drive-through line. oops guess that can't be happening too often. I mean, what we gonna say.."no babygirl, you can't have what mommy and daddy are eating!"

And for this, I am grateful for the responsibility of parenting. It is yet another thing to make me a better person. To help me do better. To make me more aware, conscious, and responsible for some of the basic things that I do.

So, to infinity and beyond..that's exactly how high I'm shooting! ;)

Grace, peace, love and pureed green beans!
Gia

roll over...

Daelyn Grace is officially 5 months now. woohoo. She's little miss activity and as per developmental timeline, she's fully into the rolling over stage. At first she was just a tummy to back roller. She's been doing that for at least a month now..but just recently, she's been making the back to tummy shift.

Today as I watched, I had to force myself to not reach out and help her. The poor baby kept getting stuck as she wanted to go to her tummy from her back. The beauty of it was, she didn't give up. She'd try, get stuck (left arm was under her and she couldn't figure out how to get it out I guess) and then roll back on her back and start again.

It literally took maybe 6 tries before she successfully got it. The funny thing was, when she moved from back to tummy, she immediately went from tummy back on her back. side note: she definitely can't spend too much time on a bed alone now.

I caught her! she's also not looking too happy huh?

Throughout this process, she didn't once look at me for help. It was just my maternal instinct that wanted to swoop in and fix it for her. But of course, if I did (and continue to) swoop in and help, the appropriate muscles and such that are needed for this process would never develop. And here was the lesson for me.

SO many times, I (unlike my precious baby) cry out to Father to intervene when I'm "stuck". Its too much. I just want it dealt with.  Fix it now...and despite the fact that I know I need to go through process to build character muscles, it doesn't make the "going through" any easier.

Muscle is harder to build than fat. Muscle is obtained through challenges, through tension, through work. Fat, is accumulated through doing nothing. They both "weigh" the same...after all, a pound is a pound. BUT ten pounds of muscle will look and feel lighter than ten pounds of fat. Additionally, muscle has purpose; fat doesn't. Comparing muscle and fat even further: muscle represents health...fat, well too much of it, can have poor implications for our wellness.

Essentially, I went through that comparison of muscle and fat because I think there is a lesson there. When we go through process and develop certain qualities which prepare us for our goal, we can then handle everything that comes with the acquisition. We are mature, we have necessary skills, we know the purpose of that which we received. However, on the other hand, when we are given things, without being prepared for it...well, you know how that looks. We are more likely to squander or misuse "it" (whatever it may be). We may not know how to correctly use/apply. Worse, that which should be a good thing, because we are unprepared, could now become a bad thing to our lives.

So as I close, remember to be patient; process can be painful...but it is always productive!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

tis the season to be jolly

fa la la la la-la la la laaaaaaaaaa!!!

Yes, it is the Christmas season. I think if you ask 10 people, you are likely to get at least 6 different responses as to what this season means to them.

For me, while I thoroughly enjoy the merriment, gift-giving, family time and food (lots of food)- I also really like to ensure that I continually celebrate Jesus. I know He wasn't born in December, but alas this is the time that we have set aside to say "happy birthday"! So Christmas represents life, hope, salvation, joy....Jesus. Its also synonymous with family, food, and Junkanoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

While, those values and traditions remain relevant for me, this Christmas is different. It was the first time, that as an adult, living on my own, that I've put up my own Christmas tree. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can you say excited? side note: it seriously made my day [week, nah season] when Dayton walked in with the tree and surprised me! Of course, Daelyn Grace is still totally oblivious so there isn't so much excitement from her, but just her presence has made it a very special one. She is by far my best. gift. ever!

I didn't buy any gifts for her and probably won't until she's at least 2 years old, when there is a recognition of a "gift"--not that she is by any means short on gifts. The tree already has gifts for her and an extra large stocking filled with baby goodies. However,  I do want is to begin Jones' family traditions. Traditions that keep us (and teach her) to be grounded in our faith; to celebrate life, freedom, hope, joy and salvation. Traditions that go beyond the superficiality of the newest toy. I haven't figured out what that's gonna be yet.

I do plan on asking all her godparents to make a tree decoration that we can use annually when we put up the tree. But as for us...Dayton, Daelyn and I- I'm drawing a blank. Maybe it will come to me on Christmas day? :)

What are your family traditions, whether past or current? If not yours, do you have any suggestions for me?

Merry Christmas from the Jones family. May these days be filled with joy, hope, peace and fulfillment regardless of how (or if) you choose to celebrate. 

As I was drafting this, I realized that it would have been ideal to have a family picture for this week's post but apparently, I'm still new to this family thing and failed on the holiday family picture card thing. sigh. I promise to do better next year). But until then....enjoy the sights and sounds of Junkanoo!

Grace peace love and joy,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn- part 2

Once I'm living and breathing, I want to learn. 

To this end, I've made a personal commitment to myself to find lessons in every (or as many) of my life experiences as possible. As a 30-something new mom, I found myself overwhelmed...with love and stress at the same time as each moment since July 31st, 2013 presented a new and sometimes unpredictable experience. :) As I reflected, I realized that the lessons I learned in the past two months really could be applicable to many instances where we are faced with challenges or an overwhelming, new experience.  If this is your first time stumbling upon this blog, or haven't visited in awhile, you can find Part 1 here.

So here we goooo....

girls day out

Third, set reasonable goals/expectations for yourself. In my example, I found that Daelyn Grace would not be put down for a significant period of time, so I had to give up  trying to do anything major. I quickly learned the beauty of those baby carriers/slings for being mobile and keeping my hands free but it was still only so much I could do. Instead of bucking my head constantly to the wall because I wasn't getting to keep the house spik-and-span, nor could I finish a report for a project I started in my internship, I learned to take what I could get; do what I could and keep it moving. More important (and more reasonable) goals were eating, keeping hydrated, resting and keeping myself clean. Those were big enough challenges to add the "other stuff". And to be honest, at the end of the day life kept moving on.  

Fourth, don't compare your situation to others.  Its unnecessary frustration. While there are similarities which bond us together as humans (see point #2), each of us is unique.  We have different personalities/temperament, different past experiences, different resources...and the list goes on. Each of these differences creates a somewhat personalized experience for each of us. Learn from others' experiences and the experts, but recognize that while these may be helpful, it may not be a perfect fit. Find what works for you and make no apologies about pursuing that solution.

Fifth, find time for yourself away from situation. This may be more specific to my experience, but even if your challenge/experience is not a tangible thing...sometimes we get so caught up that we ruminate.  "Rumination is defined as the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences" -thanks Wikipedia! Essentially in this 5th lesson, I'm challenging you to step away, to stop thinking/stressing over the problem. Distract yourself -not to the extent that you never face it- but to the point that it does not consume you. At this point, you can no longer think straight and honestly, we end up in unhealthy thought and behavioral patterns.  For me, I had to learn that great moms know and accept that they need help and they need breaks/time alone and when I do get those breaks to not sit and worry over what baby is doing. ;))

That's it! Well, wait...since this is Canadian thanksgiving- I guess there is one more lesson...find something to be thankful for. I know this is similar to point #1, where I urge you to give yourself a hug but the difference is, here you are now taking inventory of the good that exists...maybe its the helpful friend/family member, maybe its the fact that you are getting paid and are financially stable despite the circumstances. Maybe its the roof over your head, the food in your belly or for me, my husband, my new baby, my loveable dog and the plethora of those I call family (blood or otherwise).

Grace, peace, love and a grateful heart,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn-part 1

Okay. It is officially 2 days shy of 10 weeks since life was changed!!!!!! Miss Daelyn Grace is growing like a weed...literally. Like seriously her weight and length is about the size of an average 4 month old. (insert blank stare here). I'm gonna not only be skinny (breastfeeding DOES cause you to lose weight without doing NOTHING) but my arms are also gonna be buff as she constantly requires rocking, cuddling, holding and bouncing. :D

Anyway, despite the fact that my life currently revolves around her, my plan is to continue to blog about passion, purpose, life and other randomness and not turn this into a baby blog. Sadly, life and randomness are all baby-centered for me as I have not yet returned to work and my involvement in other non-baby activities (eg dissertation, church, etc) have been few and far between. BUT as I sat and thought about what I could share I realized that some lessons I've learned from these past 2 months could be applied to almost any challenging situation.

So...here we go!

First, give yourself some credit. Yes, things may not be as you like it and you may seem like you are flailing about or even failing but I can assure you, it is not 100% bad. Recognize that there are some bright spots and celebrate them. After all, life in general is filled with challenges. Furthermore living life according to kingdom principles becomes even "harder", simply because it goes against our automatic nature and against what everyone else is doing.  In short---Celebrate you. Celebrate your triumphs. Celebrate life.

Second, talk to your someone in your circle- its cathartic. Keeping things in is counter to our mental and physical health. You will quickly find that you may not be the only person in this situation.  Its amazing how similar our experiences are as humans but yet when we go through tough times/challenges, we tend to isolate rather than congregate.  Of course you can't share with everyone, not even everyone in your support network, but definitely find someone to talk to.
Also, if the situation involves someone else, find the right time and place and discuss it with them. One word of caution: it is important how you approach the conversation. Therapy teaches about "I...you" statements. For example, "I feel drained when you.....". This allows us to express our feelings without coming off like we are attacking the other person. The cool thing about this conversation is that sometimes this conversation reveals that the person just did not know...Sadly, many major conflicts start because people aren't on the same page. Anyway...in short, we are made to commune. To live together. To be a support to each other. When we are at our low, that is when this becomes vitally important.

Until next week...

Grace peace and love,
Gia

One month later...

Yesterday made one month since our lives were forever changed. Daelyn Grace is growing....rapidly (already has a double chin and rolls in her thighs) and mommy and daddy are somewhat gaining some sense of normalcy.

We've been blessed with amazing family and friends who have been uber supportive and helpful...if only with sending an encouraging text or a short phone call (whenever I have a free hand to answer). Speaking of hands, these two hands have seemingly multiplied. I thought I could multi-task but this is another dimension. Amazing what toes can do too!

My mom and mother-in-law have been indispensable with cooking, cleaning and sometimes just taking her from me in between feedings. Unfortunately, that sometimes is only 45 minutes as I am exclusively breastfeeding (EBF) and she has not yet been introduced to the bottle.  That we are only EBF'ing has been THE biggest challenge and I now totally and completely understand why many moms choose to supplement and breast feed, or only end up breastfeeding for a couple days/weeks or totally just formula feed from the beginning. The struggle is real!

I'm typing now in this rare 5 minutes (this actually took more than one nap session)...I technically should be trying to eat but I really wanted to blog. I've got babygirl here next to me "sleeping" on the bed and she's coo'ing and grunting and making other random noises as she flitters in between sleep and wake. Someone should have warned me that newborns are rather noisy. Who knew? It was quite disconcerting those first nights/days with her...it was like..."ummm did she swallow animals?"

I've learned soooooo much these past 31 days...about myself, and about infants/newborns and even a little bit about our culture. I find my prayer life has doubled as I am often times clueless and just need the comfort of that heavenly connection. I've become stronger, a tad bit wiser and definitely have had to make some interesting decisions.

Tecnically the "newborn" stage is done and although emotionally and physically exhausting, it was enjoyed. I kissed, cuddled, smiled, and was just woo'ed by this beauty. I am looking forward to the next couple weeks when a routine is established as she moves from that unpredictable-getting-adjusted-to-the-outside-world stage, where I will have a bit more independence and freedom (the only time we leave the house has been for doctors appointments) and I can also jump back on the dissertation wagon (hopefully longer deep naps).

As I leave (for whoever knows how long), here is one of the pictures for her room. It was inspired (almost a duplicate) of an image I saw online and just personalized for my little princess.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Who knew...

a love like this.

So for those of you who don't know...our sweet little princess, Daelyn Grace is here.

She made quite the appearance last Wednesday and has been rocking our world since. That's both physically, emotionally and every other aspect of life!!!

I told someone, when I saw her taken and passed from one doctor to the next in the operating room, I literally held my breath and tears just began to flow. That "alien" that resided in me, had made her way and I could see her. Of course the tears just continued when her pediatrician brought her face to mine for the first contact. Sometimes just thinking of the miracle that has been pregnancy and now this new life has me tearing up again.

Its that face that I continue to just stare at...and kiss...and smell and kiss some more.

I can confidently say, my God is a very creative, awesome being to come up with this brilliant idea of bringing forth life.

Okay..so considering I've probably had less than 8 hours of sleep in the past 72+ hours, I'm signing off now to rest while she peacefully naps.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

PS. Remember it may be awhile before I'm regularly blogging again. Got to make sure first things are dealt with first. ;)