its that time...again

I'm going to have to take a sabbatical from my weekly musings.

There is simply too much going on. I need to begin widdling down on all my "extras", so without a doubt, I can make this self-imposed, yet necessary deadline of the end of April to have this dissertation written up. At this point, I'm barely beginning with analyses so this is quite a tall order but in light of the financial demands of enrolling in another full semester---I need to put (in Bahamianese) ERRYTING toward this. sigh. I'm already tired but I'm going to rest in the grace for this season.

Before I know it- it will be August 2014, and I'll be done (dissertation defended and last hours of internship completed). Before I know it again, it will be October 18th and I'll be grinning from ear to ear as I walk across the stage with the big fluffy gown and funny-looking hat on my neatly twisted locs and receive the certificate that says Giavana Jones, PhD.

It is for that vision that I push.

So, until I've gotten to a better place with all my demands...I bid you adieu. see ya later.

BUT I can't leave without giving you something to chew on this week...I read this this morning and it was JUST what I needed. Hopefully it does the same encouraging for you.

God makes everything come out right; he puts victims back on their feet. He showed Moses how he went about his work, opened up his plans to all Israel. God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him. He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we’re made of mud. Men and women don’t live very long; like wildflowers they spring up and blossom, But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly, leaving nothing to show they were here. God ’s love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him, Making everything right for them and their children as they follow his Covenant ways and remember to do whatever he said. (Psalm 103:6-18 MSG)

Grace, peace, and love (until our next),
Gia

Parenting

Its been 6 months ya'll!!!!!! Daelyn Grace was officially 6 months on January 31st. I'm happy to report that most of the tired, overwhelmedness and anxiousness is gone. No more zombie-mommy. Left in its place is fun. Tons of laughter, silly faces, poop (and more poop), feeding, sleeping and yes...a bit of tired. :)

As some of you know, motherhood was a scary idea for me. I mean, I've spent almost 10 years studying the field of psychology, 2 of those years, specifically looking at counselling and boy oh boy...I've seen how easy it is to screw up a person. That alone made me think twice, no three times about being a parent.

But yea, putting all that aside, I mean, I think every parent wants the best for their little person. Me being who I am (over-achiever, well-read, a bit organic) set some high goals for this little one. I really wanted to try and be as natural as possible with her. That started with pregnancy (healthy lifestyle- was achieved). 2. Then labor, but that didn't work. oh well. epidural AND surgery was required for my sweet princess to get here safely.

3. Exclusive breast-feeding. done it...6 months and going strong.

4. :clears throat: cloth diapering. yup...6 months and now its getting real now that we've begun to introduce solids. :/

5. No (or very limited pre-made baby food). I mean seriously. its pureed veggies and fruits. How hard could that be? hahaha well I'm a couple weeks in and it really isn't that bad. I'm fascinated though. When I make it fresh, it can only stay refriegerated for 3 days (frozen for 6 months). SO I'm left to wonder what Gerber be puttin in their all-natural baby food why it can stay on the shelf (not even the fridge) for + 6 months. (insert deep sigh here).

from top moving clockwise: freezer with expressed breastmilk and her veggies for next two weeks.
storage container with her  fresh pureed peas. pumpkin after it was baked. magic bullet with greens
happy baby with a really dirty mouth (ironically, she was eating canned prunes which I did NOT make)

I have some other really ambitious goals, but all-in-all, it boils down to wanting the best for the lil princess. I figure we aim realllly high and if we don't make it- we still do "great". Rather than not setting goals at all and then its just "come what may".

The cool thing is- hubs and I realize that in order to maintain this lifestyle for her, we are going to have to make some lifestyle changes.

For example, we don't want her eating fast food (I mean really- makes no sense for me to slave over the stove as a baby and then just quit when she's a toddler/child)...I'm determined to not allow anything beyond the taste of a french fry before 3 years old. After that...well it will be for special occasions. The reality of this hit us as I sat near dying from hunger (being dramatic) in Wendy's drive-through line. oops guess that can't be happening too often. I mean, what we gonna say.."no babygirl, you can't have what mommy and daddy are eating!"

And for this, I am grateful for the responsibility of parenting. It is yet another thing to make me a better person. To help me do better. To make me more aware, conscious, and responsible for some of the basic things that I do.

So, to infinity and beyond..that's exactly how high I'm shooting! ;)

Grace, peace, love and pureed green beans!
Gia

weekend jet setter part 2: count your blessings

this was me + at least another 3 bags,
stroller and car seat!
Thank God for momma!

As I mentioned in part 1, we travelled last weekend. It was a great trip. And thank God for mommy! She was literally a life saver. I wouldn't ever want to travel with an infant alone. Although Daelyn Grace was great (no fussiness) or anything like that, it was quite a bit to keep balanced.

Last week, I talked about the "lesson" I learned from one event of the trip but as I wrote, it caused me to reflect on the trip itself. I couldn't help but to see how many blessings there were wrapped up in that little getaway!

The trip was a blessing in multiple ways.
1.We snagged lovely priced tickets for a direct flight from Nassau to West Palm Beach. Although it was on a particular airline, we had absolutely NO problems (no delays, no cancellations...nothing)! In fact, they gave us multiple graces upon our return as it relates to baggage and such.

2. We got free and comfy housing. Daelyn had an almost-new bassinet to sleep in ($20) and a playpen to hang out and play in (free)...and more toys than she could keep track of. It was just like being at home.

3. We got an SUV rental for the cost of a compact car. I never imagined how much space baby items take up. Add to that a couple bags from shopping and you've got a mid-size SUV looking like we were moving away permanently. :/ I didn't think we'd need more than a regular sedan but once again...thanks to mommy's suggestion, we were comfortable for the 4 days we were there.

mommy, me & Daelyn Grace on the plane.
she apparently was not pleased
with the camera in her face.

4. I found some really good deals on the couple items that were purchased for me and the lil princess (funny how I'm mrs-shop-til-I-drop, but with a baby, I was like...five minutes in the store and I was done!) The stroller nor cart seemed to keep lil-miss-on-the-move content for too long so after about 20 minutes, there needed to be a change in venue...unless she fell asleep. The best part was innocently walking through aisles, pushing the stroller (or cart) and seeing clothing (and other items) "moving" and not realizing that it was my daughter's doings. 

and the best of all----

5. As you recall from last week, I got the DSM-5 for free. The person who gave me theirs paid almost $200.

Non-financial "blessings":

April & Daelyn Grace at her
 office in North Palm Beach.

6. Got to spend some good time with mommy, Daelyn Grace and April, who is my former roommate. They got to meet, play with, and spend some good time with each other and they became fast friends. :)

7. Got a 200-page manual which will be a great plus for my pre-marital program, One Accord, that I'm preparing to launch in two weeks. The manual accompanied a previous training that I missed and I am just so grateful to have it. It is a wealth of information and resources, that honestly would have probably taken more than 2 weeks for me to compile if I had to do it on my own. side note: I had planned to eventually have something like this- so now I can just add, rather than having to start from scratch! yippeee

8. I got an entire day to network with other professionals. I met some fabulous therapists/mental health professionals and got some great tips for private practice. Those tips are definitely priceless!


I'm sure there are more but I'll stop there. There is an old song I remember and it goes:

Count your blessings name them one by one

Count your blessings see what God has done

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your many blessings see what God has done!

When was the last time you stopped to count your blessings?

Grace, peace, love and blessings to you!
Gia

...what do you do?

I'm tired ya'll.

Sadly, I didn't realize it (or admit it) until someone at church asked me how I'm doing. If I'm happy. I go on to talk about Daelyn Grace, being a mom, adjusting...she nods and then asks again. I'm like yea, thinking to myself that I just explained all this. Then she clarifies,

"Gia, I mean aside from your role as mother. Aside from Daelyn. How are you? Are YOU happy?"

And then I stopped. 

I had two choices. To answer a quick yes with my trademark smile. Or to really think about it and give her an honest answer. Because our church is built upon authenticity, building real relationships, and "doing life together"- I chose the latter. And what I admitted, surprised even me.

"I'm not sure if I'm happy. I mean, I'm okay. but....I'm....tired"

:gasps to myself: As I process this, I realize that this isn't only physical fatigue. Nor only emotional. Its everything. I'm getting to *that* point, that time where I need a break or will break. :( I promised myself last time that I would be better about taking things in strides. Resting regularly (physical, emotional, mental). But now as I think about it..the things that I do to rejuve have been hampered a bit by life.

reading (novel) in the middle of the night while/after I've nursed baby (not a good new habit at all).
quiet time (prayer, bible reading, dancing, listening to music, meditating) sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the morning but most often nothing...or at least not as much.
watching a good [holiday] movie (sigh) well, the tv belongs to hubby and as long as there is something sport-related on and believe me, there is ALWAYS something on, I either watch that or watch online.
getting a pedicure, salon visit insert giggle here. yea...last pedicure was probably Jan 2013. :/ car challenges
being involved in church (corporate prayer, worship, fellowship) car challenges
spending time with family and friends my saving grace. Because I've been car-less, I've had to rely heavily on others and simultaneously, I've also gotten quite a bit of time with family. However, I've had no time with hubby without baby. gee, to think of it, no time with anyone without baby. 
talk therapy (or writing/journaling) my blog has become my journal. I have people to talk to but I personally hate always talking about my "problems". Writing helps in cases like this or when the person you talk to does not understand [men are really from another planet than us women ;)]
me time...car challenges 
exercise ... :) no excuse since I've got a stationary bike but I've been dying to get outside and walk.


So, that's my list of activities that I find  rejuvenating, restful and helpful to add balance to the crazy of life.

Where are you? tired or at rest? What activities do you have to unwind, rejuvenate, or rest?

As you can see, my life isn't quite where I would want it to be. But I understand this is for a season and because of that, I'll continue to thug it out. It's important to recognize though (especially during the hustle and bustle of this joyous season which also culminates the year), that fatigue, whether emotional, mental and/or physical, has implications for you. For me,  when I get tired, I get easily irritated. Less patient. I experience physical pain/discomfort. I get more emotional/needy, as my love tank drains faster. Overall, not the most pleasant person to be around.

So I need to rejuve. I'll have to settle for watching holiday movies online. Reading when I can...and possibly finding some new ways to rejuve and rest given my new conditions (another person to care for, no car). Afterall, life is about adaptation. I mean really, we either adapt or we die, eh?

Join me in first, taking stock of your physical, emotional and mental well-being. Then, ensuring that you are regularly engaging in activities to balance and maintain overall health.

Grace, peace, love, and rest,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn-part 1

Okay. It is officially 2 days shy of 10 weeks since life was changed!!!!!! Miss Daelyn Grace is growing like a weed...literally. Like seriously her weight and length is about the size of an average 4 month old. (insert blank stare here). I'm gonna not only be skinny (breastfeeding DOES cause you to lose weight without doing NOTHING) but my arms are also gonna be buff as she constantly requires rocking, cuddling, holding and bouncing. :D

Anyway, despite the fact that my life currently revolves around her, my plan is to continue to blog about passion, purpose, life and other randomness and not turn this into a baby blog. Sadly, life and randomness are all baby-centered for me as I have not yet returned to work and my involvement in other non-baby activities (eg dissertation, church, etc) have been few and far between. BUT as I sat and thought about what I could share I realized that some lessons I've learned from these past 2 months could be applied to almost any challenging situation.

So...here we go!

First, give yourself some credit. Yes, things may not be as you like it and you may seem like you are flailing about or even failing but I can assure you, it is not 100% bad. Recognize that there are some bright spots and celebrate them. After all, life in general is filled with challenges. Furthermore living life according to kingdom principles becomes even "harder", simply because it goes against our automatic nature and against what everyone else is doing.  In short---Celebrate you. Celebrate your triumphs. Celebrate life.

Second, talk to your someone in your circle- its cathartic. Keeping things in is counter to our mental and physical health. You will quickly find that you may not be the only person in this situation.  Its amazing how similar our experiences are as humans but yet when we go through tough times/challenges, we tend to isolate rather than congregate.  Of course you can't share with everyone, not even everyone in your support network, but definitely find someone to talk to.
Also, if the situation involves someone else, find the right time and place and discuss it with them. One word of caution: it is important how you approach the conversation. Therapy teaches about "I...you" statements. For example, "I feel drained when you.....". This allows us to express our feelings without coming off like we are attacking the other person. The cool thing about this conversation is that sometimes this conversation reveals that the person just did not know...Sadly, many major conflicts start because people aren't on the same page. Anyway...in short, we are made to commune. To live together. To be a support to each other. When we are at our low, that is when this becomes vitally important.

Until next week...

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Who knew...

a love like this.

So for those of you who don't know...our sweet little princess, Daelyn Grace is here.

She made quite the appearance last Wednesday and has been rocking our world since. That's both physically, emotionally and every other aspect of life!!!

I told someone, when I saw her taken and passed from one doctor to the next in the operating room, I literally held my breath and tears just began to flow. That "alien" that resided in me, had made her way and I could see her. Of course the tears just continued when her pediatrician brought her face to mine for the first contact. Sometimes just thinking of the miracle that has been pregnancy and now this new life has me tearing up again.

Its that face that I continue to just stare at...and kiss...and smell and kiss some more.

I can confidently say, my God is a very creative, awesome being to come up with this brilliant idea of bringing forth life.

Okay..so considering I've probably had less than 8 hours of sleep in the past 72+ hours, I'm signing off now to rest while she peacefully naps.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

PS. Remember it may be awhile before I'm regularly blogging again. Got to make sure first things are dealt with first. ;)

provision

"But you might ask, ‘What will we eat during the seventh year, since we are not allowed to plant or harvest crops that year?’ Be assured that I will send my blessing for you in the sixth year, so the land will produce a crop large enough for three years. When you plant your fields in the eighth year, you will still be eating from the large crop of the sixth year. In fact, you will still be eating from that large crop when the new crop is harvested in the ninth year." (Leviticus 25:20-22 NLT)

Sometimes its difficult to be obedient. 

I'm talking about those times when you know for certain that you should do something or go somewhere  and for whatever reason- we don't.  It even almost seems like we can't.

Can you relate? Well I can't say that I'm necessarily in this particular predicament now, or have been in the past 2 weeks or so BUT I read the above scripture this morning and could not help but think about how I've questioned myself doing something, especially giving (whether monetary or in-kind) because I've felt or asked..."what about.....?".

In the passage above, God gave instructions to the Israelites...He asked that no planting or real "work" be done in certain years (the 7th). That must have sounded ludicrus to a nation of farmers and shephards and such...and so I guess before they could even ask, complain, scrunge their face in disbelief- He says...

"look, don't worry about your food and provisions in the 7th year if you follow my instructions as I will ensure that there is abundance from previous years. And to even reward your obedience, this abundance will follow you into the next year, and even into the year after that."

Can you say awesomeness? I was just smiling as I thought about God's provision in general but even more so, in our obedience. This was definitely a great reminder for me and I hope for you too! I'll leave you with this thought to chew on:

 Obedience sometimes require sacrifice but it will never lead to lack.

Grace peace and love,
Gia