walking the talk...

For as long as I can remember, I've talked about gratitude and peace. As with everything, its always easy to talk; however the weight of it is experienced during "tests". At this time we see whether or not that which we've been talking about is truly what we are walking out.

True story. :)

Last week I found myself sitting in a borrowed car that wouldn't start, trying my hardest to remain composed. I was done. Just over it. Ready to scream. This was not the first time since I borrowed the car  that it chose to not start. However, this was only Day 3 that I had the car and this is a car, that for as long as my sister has had it, has NEVER given her problems. It was a really rough moment.
Here is a snippet of my inner dialogue.

[literally] talking to myself: "Come on Gia, take a deep breath. Its okay."
slowly look around and think to self after a couple slow deep breaths

"I guess it could be worse..."

Then IT happened. The shift.

In that one statement and action (slowing down, regulating my emotions) my thoughts went to this: "wow. I'm stuck but its in a well lit busy gas station, on a main road, less than 15 minutes from home. My husband isn't available, but my dad is and he is on his way. The weather is cool, so Daelyn Grace is comfortable as she is sleeping in her car seat in the back seat. I've got battery life on my phone to make calls if necessary." 

I then realized that I was literally okay. 

From this way of thinking, I had plenty to be thankful for...safety, support/help, alternative means of getting home, sanity (baby sleeping and comfortable)...etc etc etc

Did my new shift in thinking change the conditions? No.  the car still didn't start.
Was I still bummed that the car I borrowed, was giving me problems? - yes

But in my disappointment, I refused to get all upset and burdened by something I had no control over. I chose to adjust my thinking and literally stay positive.

I then moved on. Made necessary arrangements for car to be dealt with (all that was within my control), then let it go.

I wish that was all to this story but later that week, a similar occurrence happened as I found myself driving buttercup (my "new" SUV) after  it just came from mechanic (getting an expensive engine head) and realized that it still wasn't drivable because now the brakes weren't holding.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh seriously... AGAIN????????

I'll admit. It wasn't as easy to adjust and shift now. In fact, a day later I'm still fighting to choose gratitude and peace over frustration and worry. I got a timely reminder from my mom though. In a simple one sentence text, she acknowledged the trend of unfortunate events, but reminded me to still give thanks. 

As I reluctantly forced myself to find something (anything) to be thankful for in this never-ending expensive saga, I actually found a couple things. I was thankful that the battery died BEFORE it tore the belt possibly resulting in a very bad outcome if it occurred while driving. I was also thankful that although the brakes weren't holding, the time and day I was driving meant that there was virtually no other cars on the road, and still in full day light so there was no need for sudden braking. pretty big deals huh? yea I know.

So I've been super conscious to not complain. To not go through the self-pity route. To not sit and worry about what could be or should be. 

Hopefully your days, week, season has been a little easier than mine, if not- join me as I've decided to simply:

1. ask for grace [serenity] to accept that which I cannot change (i.e. move on, let go).

2. ask for the insight, resources, and energy to make changes/correct/fix that which I can

3. and finally, I've asked for wisdom to know the difference.

Grace peace and love,

Gia 

Lessons learned from a newborn- part 2

Once I'm living and breathing, I want to learn. 

To this end, I've made a personal commitment to myself to find lessons in every (or as many) of my life experiences as possible. As a 30-something new mom, I found myself overwhelmed...with love and stress at the same time as each moment since July 31st, 2013 presented a new and sometimes unpredictable experience. :) As I reflected, I realized that the lessons I learned in the past two months really could be applicable to many instances where we are faced with challenges or an overwhelming, new experience.  If this is your first time stumbling upon this blog, or haven't visited in awhile, you can find Part 1 here.

So here we goooo....

girls day out

Third, set reasonable goals/expectations for yourself. In my example, I found that Daelyn Grace would not be put down for a significant period of time, so I had to give up  trying to do anything major. I quickly learned the beauty of those baby carriers/slings for being mobile and keeping my hands free but it was still only so much I could do. Instead of bucking my head constantly to the wall because I wasn't getting to keep the house spik-and-span, nor could I finish a report for a project I started in my internship, I learned to take what I could get; do what I could and keep it moving. More important (and more reasonable) goals were eating, keeping hydrated, resting and keeping myself clean. Those were big enough challenges to add the "other stuff". And to be honest, at the end of the day life kept moving on.  

Fourth, don't compare your situation to others.  Its unnecessary frustration. While there are similarities which bond us together as humans (see point #2), each of us is unique.  We have different personalities/temperament, different past experiences, different resources...and the list goes on. Each of these differences creates a somewhat personalized experience for each of us. Learn from others' experiences and the experts, but recognize that while these may be helpful, it may not be a perfect fit. Find what works for you and make no apologies about pursuing that solution.

Fifth, find time for yourself away from situation. This may be more specific to my experience, but even if your challenge/experience is not a tangible thing...sometimes we get so caught up that we ruminate.  "Rumination is defined as the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences" -thanks Wikipedia! Essentially in this 5th lesson, I'm challenging you to step away, to stop thinking/stressing over the problem. Distract yourself -not to the extent that you never face it- but to the point that it does not consume you. At this point, you can no longer think straight and honestly, we end up in unhealthy thought and behavioral patterns.  For me, I had to learn that great moms know and accept that they need help and they need breaks/time alone and when I do get those breaks to not sit and worry over what baby is doing. ;))

That's it! Well, wait...since this is Canadian thanksgiving- I guess there is one more lesson...find something to be thankful for. I know this is similar to point #1, where I urge you to give yourself a hug but the difference is, here you are now taking inventory of the good that exists...maybe its the helpful friend/family member, maybe its the fact that you are getting paid and are financially stable despite the circumstances. Maybe its the roof over your head, the food in your belly or for me, my husband, my new baby, my loveable dog and the plethora of those I call family (blood or otherwise).

Grace, peace, love and a grateful heart,
Gia

Who knew...

a love like this.

So for those of you who don't know...our sweet little princess, Daelyn Grace is here.

She made quite the appearance last Wednesday and has been rocking our world since. That's both physically, emotionally and every other aspect of life!!!

I told someone, when I saw her taken and passed from one doctor to the next in the operating room, I literally held my breath and tears just began to flow. That "alien" that resided in me, had made her way and I could see her. Of course the tears just continued when her pediatrician brought her face to mine for the first contact. Sometimes just thinking of the miracle that has been pregnancy and now this new life has me tearing up again.

Its that face that I continue to just stare at...and kiss...and smell and kiss some more.

I can confidently say, my God is a very creative, awesome being to come up with this brilliant idea of bringing forth life.

Okay..so considering I've probably had less than 8 hours of sleep in the past 72+ hours, I'm signing off now to rest while she peacefully naps.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

PS. Remember it may be awhile before I'm regularly blogging again. Got to make sure first things are dealt with first. ;)