who's excited?!?!

Our praise and worship leader at church is now famous for this question. Although the response...her response is what's EPIC, the question is asked and the response is.....(wait for it).....

I AM!! 

(With the biggest grin you can find anywhere!)

Now I'll be honest, it's been a great year for me...an even greater 3 months with our princess but even with all this, I've managed to allow one situation in particular, to consistently poke a hole and allow my joy to seep out. That is being car-less. Feeling like my independence has been stripped from me. So I've been lamenting and brooding and just being sour in regards to this. The process of finding the car was delayed, then took longer than usual (once we actually got started looking). The transportation of the car (from US to Nassau) was delayed (its now almost 4 weeks since car was purchased) and now...now that the car is actually here -in the country- it's now day 3 and I still don't "possess" it. Yet another delay.

BUT and here's what I FINALLY figured out yesterday, despite the months of waiting, looking, moaning. Despite the fact that I've returned to "work", where transportation is required...despite every scenario I can present. Each time, it's worked out. Definitely not in the way I prefer, i.e. my OWN car---- but once again I see the strength of my support system where friends, family and even colleagues have rallied to assist when/where they could. I see this as, the grace and faithfulness of God.

How bout that??

However, instead of each afternoon being grateful for what was provided each day-I often mumbled some more...totally missing the opportunity for gratitude.

So this morning, it was something else, something totally unrelated to the car situation that reminded me that I should still be excited with anticipation for good news. And it was then that I realized or more accurately, was reminded of what really matters.

So today, I AM EXCITED!! But ironically this excitement has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that this evening when I come back home, a new car *could* be parked in our driveway but the fact that I'm alive, I know my purpose and I can do something today to bring me one step to fulfilling/living fully in that!!

Are you excited? Maybe to get excited again, like me, it may require shifting focus from the small and maybe insignificant. It may require revisiting the big picture. It may mean setting new goals so you have something to be excited about. Also, be sure to do inventory and find what may be sapping your joy. Life's too short and we only live once. :D

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn-part 1

Okay. It is officially 2 days shy of 10 weeks since life was changed!!!!!! Miss Daelyn Grace is growing like a weed...literally. Like seriously her weight and length is about the size of an average 4 month old. (insert blank stare here). I'm gonna not only be skinny (breastfeeding DOES cause you to lose weight without doing NOTHING) but my arms are also gonna be buff as she constantly requires rocking, cuddling, holding and bouncing. :D

Anyway, despite the fact that my life currently revolves around her, my plan is to continue to blog about passion, purpose, life and other randomness and not turn this into a baby blog. Sadly, life and randomness are all baby-centered for me as I have not yet returned to work and my involvement in other non-baby activities (eg dissertation, church, etc) have been few and far between. BUT as I sat and thought about what I could share I realized that some lessons I've learned from these past 2 months could be applied to almost any challenging situation.

So...here we go!

First, give yourself some credit. Yes, things may not be as you like it and you may seem like you are flailing about or even failing but I can assure you, it is not 100% bad. Recognize that there are some bright spots and celebrate them. After all, life in general is filled with challenges. Furthermore living life according to kingdom principles becomes even "harder", simply because it goes against our automatic nature and against what everyone else is doing.  In short---Celebrate you. Celebrate your triumphs. Celebrate life.

Second, talk to your someone in your circle- its cathartic. Keeping things in is counter to our mental and physical health. You will quickly find that you may not be the only person in this situation.  Its amazing how similar our experiences are as humans but yet when we go through tough times/challenges, we tend to isolate rather than congregate.  Of course you can't share with everyone, not even everyone in your support network, but definitely find someone to talk to.
Also, if the situation involves someone else, find the right time and place and discuss it with them. One word of caution: it is important how you approach the conversation. Therapy teaches about "I...you" statements. For example, "I feel drained when you.....". This allows us to express our feelings without coming off like we are attacking the other person. The cool thing about this conversation is that sometimes this conversation reveals that the person just did not know...Sadly, many major conflicts start because people aren't on the same page. Anyway...in short, we are made to commune. To live together. To be a support to each other. When we are at our low, that is when this becomes vitally important.

Until next week...

Grace peace and love,
Gia

the flashlight

Last week, we had an interesting encounter with the flashlight. We were spending time with a family member and she had just recently gotten this flashlight. It was new and cool so hubby decided to test it out; this required putting the battery in and clicking the button on...simple enough right?

Right.

That process took literally upwards of 10 minutes. This is with multiple attempts by at least two people to get the cover screwed back on. At one point, as I sat fairly amused, yet semi bored, I suggested that they look closer at the battery to ensure that all extra coverings/parts were removed. I was immediately reassured that this was done and this was not the reason why the cover refused to snap back on. I shrugged and left it alone.

Finally, and maybe almost 15 minutes later, it was noticed  that there was a thin black covering on one of the battery prongs and this small, thin, and very insignificant protective piece literally impeded the flashlight from being put back together and being useful.

As I smugly smiled to myself (yes, I had a moment of gloating), I couldn't help but think how similar this is to life.

1. There were no instructions (for the flashlight or for life).

2. It seems that it can be done by intuition or common sense.

3. Very small things impede productivity (or successful living).

It also made me think of my role in the process. I was very hands off. I sat and watched. I wasn't invited to assist or give input and for that, my input was minimal (other than the one statement earlier in the process). However (ironically), the one piece of input I did offer was brushed off/ignored but happened to be the "key" to the problem; it seemed too simple to be the reason why the flashlight was not being put back together.

How often has the solution to the problem been a really really simple answer? Or how many times have we received the answer, but because it seemed too obvious, too small, too simple that we ignored it?

For those of us who are Christians, how often has the "still small voice" (Holy Spirit) given us a nudge, or a directive and we've ignored it (intentionally or not)? In the Bahamas, we refer to our intuition (which I'd like to think is the Holy Spirit) as "one mind". I can't tell you the amount of times I've said:

"one mind told me I should have checked the glove compartment." (fill in the details to make it relevant). He's there, waiting for us to ask for direction and/or clarification. The truth is that He won't push Himself on us, or in the situation even though He knows ALL. We've got to slow down, humble ourselves and actually ask. And then, once we ask- it behooves us that we should maybe take heed to the answer. ;)

I guess the lesson I walked away with, wasn't that I was a genius but it really made me think a couple times over the past couple days about how many times had I been stuck and the answer was staring me right in the face. Additionally, because hind sight is 100%, I look back and realize that there was an indication of this but due to whatever other circumstance I overlooked or ignored it.

Life may not come with explicit instructions and it may seem that we can conquer it with common sense but I've accepted and challenge you to consider using The Guide for the big and the small situations.

After all, what do you have to lose?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

life lessons

I'm a firm believer in walking away with something from every season. As I mentioned last week, it has been an interesting couple weeks. As I sat, congested and feeling empty to blog, I reflected on what I am learning...or have learned:

1. "Later" is a reasonable time expectation

I'm a now girl....With that said, a week is what I was hoping it took to get the house where I want it to be.  And in all honestly, I'm guessing that I *could* have moved and had the house set up perfectly in a week but there would have had to been a bit more conditions first ( not pregnant, not working 2 jobs, both hubby and I taking time off, etc etc). However, what I've come to accept is that I can't change those conditions, but I could change my expectations. This meant, recognizing and accepting that it may be the end of June before the house is where I want it to be...and probably mid-July before baby girl's room is where it *needs* to be for her arrival. Slow and steady...


2. No matter how well you multi-task, there is a limit and once you have arrived at the amount of things you are juggling, you. just. can't.

 ...You just can't do anymore. At least not do all and be effective. With that said, I had high hopes for data collection during these summer months BEFORE baby arrives. But with the internship, the part time job, the move, the pregnancy...and just life. Something had to give. I've been able to make feeble contact attempts but the key word is feeble. I've given up on chastising myself about it. It is what it is. It will get done. Maybe just not before baby comes...

3. Life doesn't ever stop for me (or you).

....I must factor in stop points. Points of rest. Breaks. These should be done regularly. It should also be more than just sleeping at night because truly, for the true multi-taskers, overworker, crazed personality...sleep isn't always resting. This past week, I have found myself sitting on a chair and just staring into space. One part of me is going over the list of things left to do but physically and emotionally, the bigger part of me knows it wil be okay. And so I am slowly learning to actually sit and do nothing (fascinating concept indeed).

4. Being pregnant, I can't move as fast as I think I should.

....this must be a "duh" for most but its a lesson that I am fighting to get. Yes my belly is growing but it doesn't stop my legs, hands and brain...right? partially. I keep comparing myself to every other pregnant person out there, thinking...I can do this. The trick is: yes I can...but it all boils down to #1...I can do it "later" or in smaller increments. le sigh

5. Say "no"!!!!

...this final one is most interesting. A couple years ago, I began the journey toward saying no to others in an effort to protect myself. Healthy boundaries and the like. What I am learning is that I now have to say "no" to myself. I must learn to choose what is more important, more beneficial, more ________ and go with that.

Perfect example was my plan for today: wake up, do some laundry, blog, go to doctor, go to work (put in 4 hours), go to lamaze class (leave early) to make it to church's anniversary service for 8pm.  After a closer reflection of the insanity of this, primarily because I'm still kinda tired and congested, I decided that: laundry could wait (to be done by hubby) but I could possibly still blog, definitely go to doctor, and then stop in to work to collect something I could do from home (IF I felt good enough). And that is what happened with the addition of the fulfillment of the antibiotic prescription. I then came home and ate, took antibiotics and then napped. This also meant me making a very difficult decision: either lamaze class or church or neither. But not both. Thus far, I've ditched lamaze class in hopes of making the once per year special service but we'll see if I even make that. I should note, that I haven't looked at work brought home (and making myself be okay with this) and am now just finishing blogging since I began at about 9 am. ;)

Did I mention that saying no to myself hurts even more than learning to say no to others. sucks actually.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

that word again....?

This past weekend, I had the honour of facilitating an all-day workshop.  When I first received the invitation, I will admit, I was overwhelmed. I kept thinking I NEEDED another speaker/professional to split the day or assist because it was unfathomable that I could keep a group of individuals interested for an entire 8 hours. And then, not only interested but facilitate learning too! :gasp:

Anyhoo, I eventually got over myself, prepared and executed the workshop.  However, after the successful workshop, my body just crashed. I felt like some big machine rolled over me. I was confused and honestly a bit freaked out. Yes, I am 4 months pregnant (snuck that in there), but how many pregnant women are on their feet all day for at least 5 days a week without this intensity of almost nubbing pain. Its not like we were running about. There was no activity outside of me walking the room as I engaged the 15 or so attendees throughout the day.

So why did I feel like I ran a marathon or at the very least walked a marathon?

I talked to Doc about it on Monday and she confirmed that some of that is expected, but also due to some pre-existing conditions that this pain may be exacerbated with certain activities. This meant one thing- my body dictates the rules of how/when and how much of an activity I can take. To minimize the chance I create a problem, hydration and breaks are now not just suggested but required. :insert deep sigh here:  Yes, I know these things but my goodness, is it really that serious? a resounding yes it is!

As I shared my struggle with these new found limitations with a friend, I realized that this is a part of life. We change positions. We change conditions. With these changes come adaptations. And as much as I'd like to think- I am not superwoman. Yes, I can continue to push but with the awareness that I am still human and subject to some limitations...As I was talking and reflecting, it then hit me again...that word - REST.

my response: But I've had this lesson before Lord! For those of you who regularly follow this blog, you would have shared my journey in being called to REST in a number of different situations. I don't recall any being related to my physical health, but then again, I didn't have a growing human being inside of me either (not that this is the only time we should have healthy times of rest and rejuvenation).

Well, all is well that ends well.  With that said, my goal is to ensure that I do everything I should to ensure that this story ends with a bouncing, chubby and healthy baby. Even if it means I (gasp) slow down a teensy bit!

side note: This post is delayed because its been super crazy and since something needed to give, this ended up being the one to delay...

Mrs. Fix-it-all?

I've been getting life lessons from everything recently. I'm not sure if this is greater sensitivity or my season of learning but I'm enjoying making the connections and walking away each day with something to chew on.

Most recent was during my TV viewing. For those of you who are CSI followers, you would know Sarah Sidle (2nd from left in picture). She has been a part of the Las Vegas team since the show's inception. Well in the past couple weeks, one of the episodes was focused on her. Now, for those who don't know, in the perfect world of CSI techs of Las Vegas, the evidence has always worked. It's always found the guilty even for the sharper of the criminals. And I mean, they have had some really smart ones pass through the various seasons.

So with this background, you would think that when she is the person looking guilty, the person of interest in a new investigation, that she would ultimately trust her own science. She has proven it over and over and over. In the world of this drama series, she has been a CSI FOR more than 10 years.

Well, now that her back is against the wall. She doesn't trust the science. Nor does it seem that she trust her colleagues who she has worked with for years; these skilled and sharp individuals who are always on the quest for truth. To make matters worse, in her trying to salvage herself, her reputation - she then decides to isolate herself from these people, who care...the sames ones who could [would] help her.

As I watched, the realization hit and I gasped audibly...wow. How much like me sometimes!

Many times has this been me. God has shown up over and over and over and yet when things get tough-I rush to try and fix things on my own. Only to learn that I can't.

I've done less and less of this over the years as I've grown and matured but don't believe for a second that it is easy to fully trust God to work things out.  After all, I'm the woman who always have the plan..well more accurately, I try to always have plans (plural)...that is, plan A, B & sometimes C.

I've got some more introspecting to do..to see if there are any situations currently that I have intercepted, rather than waiting and trusting God. A favorite scripture of mine, Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God.

or as the amplified admonishes: "Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God."

One blogger commented: It is God's past that provides calm for our future. Essentially, that's what "being still" is about. It's not [always] a literal lack of physical movement..but a surrender of the heart. A recognition of our finite ability and God's infinite knowledge and ability. The fact that He is in control and working things out for our good.

Be encouraged...and in the moments of overwhelmedness..be still and remind yourself that God is still GOD.

Grace peace and love,
Gia