...what do you do?

I'm tired ya'll.

Sadly, I didn't realize it (or admit it) until someone at church asked me how I'm doing. If I'm happy. I go on to talk about Daelyn Grace, being a mom, adjusting...she nods and then asks again. I'm like yea, thinking to myself that I just explained all this. Then she clarifies,

"Gia, I mean aside from your role as mother. Aside from Daelyn. How are you? Are YOU happy?"

And then I stopped. 

I had two choices. To answer a quick yes with my trademark smile. Or to really think about it and give her an honest answer. Because our church is built upon authenticity, building real relationships, and "doing life together"- I chose the latter. And what I admitted, surprised even me.

"I'm not sure if I'm happy. I mean, I'm okay. but....I'm....tired"

:gasps to myself: As I process this, I realize that this isn't only physical fatigue. Nor only emotional. Its everything. I'm getting to *that* point, that time where I need a break or will break. :( I promised myself last time that I would be better about taking things in strides. Resting regularly (physical, emotional, mental). But now as I think about it..the things that I do to rejuve have been hampered a bit by life.

reading (novel) in the middle of the night while/after I've nursed baby (not a good new habit at all).
quiet time (prayer, bible reading, dancing, listening to music, meditating) sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the morning but most often nothing...or at least not as much.
watching a good [holiday] movie (sigh) well, the tv belongs to hubby and as long as there is something sport-related on and believe me, there is ALWAYS something on, I either watch that or watch online.
getting a pedicure, salon visit insert giggle here. yea...last pedicure was probably Jan 2013. :/ car challenges
being involved in church (corporate prayer, worship, fellowship) car challenges
spending time with family and friends my saving grace. Because I've been car-less, I've had to rely heavily on others and simultaneously, I've also gotten quite a bit of time with family. However, I've had no time with hubby without baby. gee, to think of it, no time with anyone without baby. 
talk therapy (or writing/journaling) my blog has become my journal. I have people to talk to but I personally hate always talking about my "problems". Writing helps in cases like this or when the person you talk to does not understand [men are really from another planet than us women ;)]
me time...car challenges 
exercise ... :) no excuse since I've got a stationary bike but I've been dying to get outside and walk.


So, that's my list of activities that I find  rejuvenating, restful and helpful to add balance to the crazy of life.

Where are you? tired or at rest? What activities do you have to unwind, rejuvenate, or rest?

As you can see, my life isn't quite where I would want it to be. But I understand this is for a season and because of that, I'll continue to thug it out. It's important to recognize though (especially during the hustle and bustle of this joyous season which also culminates the year), that fatigue, whether emotional, mental and/or physical, has implications for you. For me,  when I get tired, I get easily irritated. Less patient. I experience physical pain/discomfort. I get more emotional/needy, as my love tank drains faster. Overall, not the most pleasant person to be around.

So I need to rejuve. I'll have to settle for watching holiday movies online. Reading when I can...and possibly finding some new ways to rejuve and rest given my new conditions (another person to care for, no car). Afterall, life is about adaptation. I mean really, we either adapt or we die, eh?

Join me in first, taking stock of your physical, emotional and mental well-being. Then, ensuring that you are regularly engaging in activities to balance and maintain overall health.

Grace, peace, love, and rest,
Gia

life lessons

I'm a firm believer in walking away with something from every season. As I mentioned last week, it has been an interesting couple weeks. As I sat, congested and feeling empty to blog, I reflected on what I am learning...or have learned:

1. "Later" is a reasonable time expectation

I'm a now girl....With that said, a week is what I was hoping it took to get the house where I want it to be.  And in all honestly, I'm guessing that I *could* have moved and had the house set up perfectly in a week but there would have had to been a bit more conditions first ( not pregnant, not working 2 jobs, both hubby and I taking time off, etc etc). However, what I've come to accept is that I can't change those conditions, but I could change my expectations. This meant, recognizing and accepting that it may be the end of June before the house is where I want it to be...and probably mid-July before baby girl's room is where it *needs* to be for her arrival. Slow and steady...


2. No matter how well you multi-task, there is a limit and once you have arrived at the amount of things you are juggling, you. just. can't.

 ...You just can't do anymore. At least not do all and be effective. With that said, I had high hopes for data collection during these summer months BEFORE baby arrives. But with the internship, the part time job, the move, the pregnancy...and just life. Something had to give. I've been able to make feeble contact attempts but the key word is feeble. I've given up on chastising myself about it. It is what it is. It will get done. Maybe just not before baby comes...

3. Life doesn't ever stop for me (or you).

....I must factor in stop points. Points of rest. Breaks. These should be done regularly. It should also be more than just sleeping at night because truly, for the true multi-taskers, overworker, crazed personality...sleep isn't always resting. This past week, I have found myself sitting on a chair and just staring into space. One part of me is going over the list of things left to do but physically and emotionally, the bigger part of me knows it wil be okay. And so I am slowly learning to actually sit and do nothing (fascinating concept indeed).

4. Being pregnant, I can't move as fast as I think I should.

....this must be a "duh" for most but its a lesson that I am fighting to get. Yes my belly is growing but it doesn't stop my legs, hands and brain...right? partially. I keep comparing myself to every other pregnant person out there, thinking...I can do this. The trick is: yes I can...but it all boils down to #1...I can do it "later" or in smaller increments. le sigh

5. Say "no"!!!!

...this final one is most interesting. A couple years ago, I began the journey toward saying no to others in an effort to protect myself. Healthy boundaries and the like. What I am learning is that I now have to say "no" to myself. I must learn to choose what is more important, more beneficial, more ________ and go with that.

Perfect example was my plan for today: wake up, do some laundry, blog, go to doctor, go to work (put in 4 hours), go to lamaze class (leave early) to make it to church's anniversary service for 8pm.  After a closer reflection of the insanity of this, primarily because I'm still kinda tired and congested, I decided that: laundry could wait (to be done by hubby) but I could possibly still blog, definitely go to doctor, and then stop in to work to collect something I could do from home (IF I felt good enough). And that is what happened with the addition of the fulfillment of the antibiotic prescription. I then came home and ate, took antibiotics and then napped. This also meant me making a very difficult decision: either lamaze class or church or neither. But not both. Thus far, I've ditched lamaze class in hopes of making the once per year special service but we'll see if I even make that. I should note, that I haven't looked at work brought home (and making myself be okay with this) and am now just finishing blogging since I began at about 9 am. ;)

Did I mention that saying no to myself hurts even more than learning to say no to others. sucks actually.

Grace peace and love,
Gia