Sadly, I didn't realize it (or admit it) until someone at church asked me how I'm doing. If I'm happy. I go on to talk about Daelyn Grace, being a mom, adjusting...she nods and then asks again. I'm like yea, thinking to myself that I just explained all this. Then she clarifies,
"Gia, I mean aside from your role as mother. Aside from Daelyn. How are you? Are YOU happy?"
And then I stopped.
I had two choices. To answer a quick yes with my trademark smile. Or to really think about it and give her an honest answer. Because our church is built upon authenticity, building real relationships, and "doing life together"- I chose the latter. And what I admitted, surprised even me.
"I'm not sure if I'm happy. I mean, I'm okay. but....I'm....tired"
:gasps to myself: As I process this, I realize that this isn't only physical fatigue. Nor only emotional. Its everything. I'm getting to *that* point, that time where I need a break or will break. :( I promised myself last time that I would be better about taking things in strides. Resting regularly (physical, emotional, mental). But now as I think about it..the things that I do to rejuve have been hampered a bit by life.
reading (novel) in the middle of the night while/after I've nursed baby (not a good new habit at all).
quiet time (prayer, bible reading, dancing, listening to music, meditating) sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the morning but most often nothing...or at least not as much.
watching a good [holiday] movie (sigh) well, the tv belongs to hubby and as long as there is something sport-related on and believe me, there is ALWAYS something on, I either watch that or watch online.
getting a pedicure, salon visit insert giggle here. yea...last pedicure was probably Jan 2013. :/ car challenges
being involved in church (corporate prayer, worship, fellowship) car challenges
spending time with family and friends my saving grace. Because I've been car-less, I've had to rely heavily on others and simultaneously, I've also gotten quite a bit of time with family. However, I've had no time with hubby without baby. gee, to think of it, no time with anyone without baby.
talk therapy (or writing/journaling) my blog has become my journal. I have people to talk to but I personally hate always talking about my "problems". Writing helps in cases like this or when the person you talk to does not understand [men are really from another planet than us women ;)]
me time...car challenges
exercise ... :) no excuse since I've got a stationary bike but I've been dying to get outside and walk.
So, that's my list of activities that I find rejuvenating, restful and helpful to add balance to the crazy of life.
Where are you? tired or at rest? What activities do you have to unwind, rejuvenate, or rest?
As you can see, my life isn't quite where I would want it to be. But I understand this is for a season and because of that, I'll continue to thug it out. It's important to recognize though (especially during the hustle and bustle of this joyous season which also culminates the year), that fatigue, whether emotional, mental and/or physical, has implications for you. For me, when I get tired, I get easily irritated. Less patient. I experience physical pain/discomfort. I get more emotional/needy, as my love tank drains faster. Overall, not the most pleasant person to be around.
So I need to rejuve. I'll have to settle for watching holiday movies online. Reading when I can...and possibly finding some new ways to rejuve and rest given my new conditions (another person to care for, no car). Afterall, life is about adaptation. I mean really, we either adapt or we die, eh?
Join me in first, taking stock of your physical, emotional and mental well-being. Then, ensuring that you are regularly engaging in activities to balance and maintain overall health.
Grace, peace, love, and rest,
Gia
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