cheers to the new Year!

I don't take this blogging thing lightly. Although my readership may not be at the point where I can make money or even warrant "fame" (I'm probably still in double digits), I do believe that each person who reads (whether a regular or a passerby) is super special and comes here for a reason.  To that end, I felt it important to end the year with a blessing to each of you who visit this lil ole piece of cyberspace.

May the Lord bless you (abundantly)

and protect you (and your family members).

May the Lord smile on you (that your face shines like Moses')

and be gracious to you.

May the Lord show you his favor (to blow your mind)

and give you his peace (that you may walk in it and find rest). (Numbers 6:24-26 NLT)

I declare that there is an awakening toward your purposes in 2013. That you will find greater sense of fulfillment, accomplishment, love, joy and peace.  That the days ahead of you will be greater than those that have passed.  That everything you put your mind, heart and hand to will prosper. I ask that all God's best will be released to you.

Grace peace and love,

See you next year! ;)

Gia

Gee whiz...

Christmas is over. unbelievable how that happens every year. I love the spirit of Christmas but the older I get, I can't help but think how over-commercialized it has also gotten.

Anyhoo, all that aside, it is still my most favoritest time of year and I trust that everyone had a very merry, festive, peaceful and joy-filled day, whether the day(s) were filled with family, friends, or just you and your fur-baby.

I had a great time celebrating with my family. The tangible gifts this year (in particular) wasn't as big of a deal as some of the more precious moments with hubby and my larger family.

On Saturday past, I had the opportunity to speak with one of the kids from the Timothy project. It was bittersweet that I only spoke with one since the majority of the kids were there but awesome because this particular young lady asked for me specifically. You should remember her...I talked a bit about her here.

In that post, I mentioned her rough exterior and how a bit of care and time, helped to melt walls and tough facades.  At that time, I said that my prayer for her was:

"My prayer is that this young lady now feels less burdened, less neglected, a smidgen more hopeful and definitely loved."

Well, based on the conversation with her on Saturday-this prayer has been answered. The young lady I spoke with was not the same girl I met in August. She was free-er. Happy-er. More peaceful. She sounded like she was enjoying life.

ahhhhh I could have seriously walked on water after that convo. Definitely in top 3 list for Best. Christmas present. Ever.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

I will....

Agency, is the term we psychologists use when we refer to human's ability to do something. We have control over our thoughts, words and actions. We are able to effect change. We can (fill in the blank) IF we choose to.

I've been a bit under the weather and it has been a real act of the "wills" to do a lot of things. Of course, I jump on the moments when I feel semi-normal but even in the moments when I don't, I attempt to "push through". Please note: I am aware of my physical limitations and not pushing beyond them.  In Bahamian vernacular- this thing go with sense! 

In any event, this made me think about the "I wills". For me, this past week, it's been, I will:

• smile through the discomfort (sour face isn't cute on the prettiest of humans)
• NOT complain (although if asked, I will honestly share)
• get the list of things done (that could be reasonably done)
• enjoy time with those I have the opportunity to visit with 
• rejoice with those who are rejoicing (Yes, just because I feel crappy does not mean that I cannot celebrate others, or celebrate with them!)
• Bless the Lord.

Yes, I decided that I will make a special effort to praise. After all, it just doesn't come that easy when things are not going well or in my case, if you aren't feeling well.  But as with everything, this is all for a season and through each passing season, circumstance, or experience, my God is still God. He is still good. He is still faithful. His love is still ever so zealous for me. He still watches over me and although He allows trials, sickness and other forms of difficulties, He is still working on my behalf in the background...if I allow Him.

As I reflect over the previous week, I think I did it....I know for one thing, the minute you take your eye off the bad and focus on the good, the bad just seems...less horrible.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

when things don't go as planned

This week has been challenging. Between the normal busyness, physically and mentally, I have also been a bit beat.  I had to accept that one of my goals just was not going to be realized...well at least not in the time frame that I had planned and it was quite the disappointment.

What do we do when life doesn't go as planned:

1. Acknowledge. It makes no sense to pretend disappointment doesn't exist. Or that the unachieved goal or thwarted plan has not impacted you. It happened, it hurt....now what?

2. Grieve. It sounds dramatic, especially since we normally associate grieving with death, but it is an accepted process that when individuals are faced with significant disappointments, it is natural to grieve.  This is not the pity party..."oh life isn't working out for me. Nothing ever happens good." blah blah blah...this is a time (that goes hand in hand with #1), where you can acknowledge that your goal was not attained and the fact that that sucks.  For me this week, I grieved and battled feelings of failure, disappointment and sadness.

3. Reflect. What are the lessons learned? Nothing happens by chance. It is usually a product of our activity or lack thereof. What could have been done differently? This is, once again, not the call to wallow in what should have been but I am a firm believer in that our past holds the key to our future. We must acknowledge, understand and accept what has happened in order to truly move forward as a more informed person. Remember: Reflect not reside.

4. Regroup. Here we are moving forward. My friend, Path Coach Kaylus, would say seek clarity on your next steps by identifying questions that need illuminating.  Some of my questions:
Do I want to try the same goal again in light of current circumstance?
Is it worth it?
Do I still want "it"?
Is this the right timing?
Is there another way to go about this?

4. Redefine. In this step, I identify the new goal. The "new goal" could be the same goal with different parameters. Different timelines. Different sources of help to achieve.  To truly redefine, I will incorporate the lessons I learned and the answers to my regrouping questions so that I can carve out a plan for moving forward that is practical, relevant and attainable.

Talking this through to you, has helped me. I was stuck somewhere between step 3 and 4.

Oh! I should note, if you are at this stuck point because of failed or unrealized goals/dreams and cannot move through these steps alone, definitely seek coaching.

Grace peace and love,

Life as a puzzle

Every now and again, purpose would slap me upside my face and I'd smile because I realize this is a part of me emptying myself so that whenever it is my time to die, I know I would have fulfilled what God placed me on this Earth for.

So you may be asking, what exactly does "purpose slapping me upside my face" look like? 

It looks like my original plan for my dissertation being too big and my first draft falling flat. 

It looks like me taking a step back to my original plan and remembering that I wanted to explore life as an "orphan". 

It looks like me getting an opportunity to do some volunteer work (learned about this in November) with girls who are orphaned and me being over-the-moon excited about it. So excited, I was like..."why didn't I think of that"?  

It looks like me asking myself and then God, why is it that this group of individuals pulls to me the way they do. 

Then it looks like, a friend suggesting that I work with her to potentially counsel orphans (got this request last week).  By the way, the friend knew nothing of the changes to the dissertation which came in November, neither was she aware that I will be volunteering with this group for another project next weekend.  She just thought of me as an ideal person for the task at hand.

It is not by chance, or even not by my own doing that all of these opportunities are presenting themselves. This is purpose slapping me upside the face. I'm still waiting on the full "understanding" from God about the extent of my involvement (now and in the future) with this group of individuals. I've been even wondering if this is the direction for Mercy House (not first time I've had that thought either).

I love when it happens like this...just like the pieces of the puzzle of life coming together. Some people say they don't know what their purpose is. I believe that if we take 2nd and sometimes 3rd looks around us, we can see how our talents/passions can make a change.  We can also see how we are drawn to certain things, people or groups. Somehow, like me, it just so happens that multiple opportunities present itself over and over and so you find yourself doing something that you enjoy, and never actually pursued it. That's purpose slapping you over the head.

I was so taken with this post on JeremyStatton.com this morning, that I decided to just redirect my readers there....(click title below for full post). For me, the last bullet points (white background) just made my heart scream "YES!"

Excerpt taken from the post To die is to live. Enjoy.

"The point is to be fully alive.

• To focus on doing the things that will matter forever.
• To understand the value of time and stop wasting it.
• To silence distractions.
• To focus on relationships.
• To realize that some risks are too important not to take.
• To stop worrying about failing and to start doing.
• To love because in the end, there is nothing else."

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Remaining focused Part II

If you remember from last week, my main work instrument as a full time grad student was giving me problems.

I'm reporting now from my brand new MacBook Pro. Yup...your girl got an early Christmas present (thanks Babes! and thank you Jesus!).

However, amidst the praise report (see here), there were other factors at play that I missed.  Without going into the gory details, lets just say, I thought that this computer was all about me. You know, its MY dissertation that needed to be proposed, conducted and defended. It's MY Ph.D that is on the line. It's MY primary means to get this stuff done. That is actually what I said in defense of my behavior as I was being pretty stubborn in a discussion with hubby and this was causing some discord between us.

In my time of being so focused on trusting God for one situation, I forget about other things...you know, that there is an enemy whose mission is to kill, steal and destroy.  So while I was having some "victory" in one aspect of this situation, my guard was down and I was oblivious to the other forms of attack.  If my roommate and I didn't have the talk that we did, I can now see how a very simple situation could have grown and created a rift. Side note: It is always amazing how that happens in relationships. It takes so long to build a strong one, but in seconds it could be punctured leaving the wounded open to hurt, mistrust, unforgiveness, resentment...yes the list goes on and on.

The conversation was definitely a reminder to stay focused....as I said last week, to focus on our Father who is provider, protector, sustainer...anything you need Him to be.  In addition, I needed to be aware (not necessarily focused), that there is a real enemy with a plan for our life too (1 Peter 5:8-9).

I'm not one to go on about "the enemy" and all that, not because I don't believe that we have an enemy but I would much prefer to talk about what God is doing and what He has promised me when the enemy sets himself to attack (Isaiah 59:19; John 10:10; Ephesians 6:10-18; Revelation 12:11).

So today, as a part of my "overcoming", I have shared my testimony (Revelation 12:11). ;)

Take home message: Be alert and particularly careful about your relationships- these are the core of the human experience. Too easily and too often, we allow our conversation or actions to cause small holes in the most important relationships. Unfortunately, it is much easier to make a hole bigger than it is to close it up.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

God I look to you

On Monday past, while I was thinking of all God has done, I couldn't help but fight the thoughts of what was still left to be done. I felt myself getting a bit twisted (code for stressed), so decided to shift back to my help. my source. [btw: I guess the emotional roller coaster from last week isn't quite done.]

I spoke out loud..."Lord I am looking to you and I will not allow myself to be overwhelmed."

With the declaration of that statement, this song came flooding back to me and I burst into song. For those of you who have NOT had the privilege to hear me sing, count yourself blessed! :) With the singing came the peace. Oh I long to live continuously with that sense of peace. Call me what you like, but I'll take peace over muscle spasms in my mouth (clenching & grinding my teeth) and/or shoulder aches that burn anyday.

Whatever the situation, whatever the calling --no matter how BIG....know that He is our rock (Psalm 91:2), He is our strength (Psalm 28:7/Isaiah 12:2), our peace (Ephesians 2:14/John 14:27), our joy (John 15:11). He is the God most high. We can put our belief, our faith, our trust in Him, knowing that He won't ever leave us nor will He let us down.


Grace peace and love,
Gia

Remaining focused

Last week was interesting. I got some indicators in the past month that my beloved and fairly new laptop was having some problems...one of which was "blue screen of death". After a quick google search last Monday, I realized that I needed to really investigate this matter. What I learned was that my hard drive was corrupted (?) I'm not sure if that was the term used, but regardless, I needed a new one....and fast before this unstable one crashed!

It is funny how, when you are stressed, how the smallest of things become major. Now, in all fairness, as a full time graduate student who is about to propose a dissertation based on research and courses from the past three years, (that are all stored on said computer), I think I legitimately had a reason to have a mini-freak out but I knew that this was so much more than that.

The very cool part of this week though, was the fact that I never once lost it. 

I began a journaling challenge about 3 weeks ago (Girlfriends in God).  Essentially, I record how God has shown up in my life each day [sudden glory moments] and since I began that, I've been more aware to ASK God to show up in specific areas. Then at the beginning of each day, I reflect and carefully review how God responded to each request from the previous day.

It also made me more aware of some moments as they are happening...I was able to smile and nod when I recognized God's hand in it. I was more aware to look for God showing up (remember my post about expectancy).  Those were the coolest...experiencing a "sudden glory moment" and recognizing it for what it is at that point.

This week was no different. As I learned more and more of what I was facing, I presented it to God each morning and asked for clarity.

Can I say, that each step of the way, I got answers. clearly. 

What it also did was minimize my anxiety about the challenge I was facing. I'll be honest and share that although it may have minimized anxiety about the computer situation, I still had other lessons to learn (part two to come)... In any event, the week was THAT much better because each day, I took my cares and requests to God and then looked for Him to show up and/or reveal the answer.

How was your week last week? Any lessons learned? Better yet...what were your glory moments?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

It's Christmas!

Well...so it's about a month and some days away from the actual day we celebrate Christmas but in our apartment this past weekend, it surely seemed like Christmas sans the Christmas tree I guess.

I'm a firm believer in putting my time and my money where my heart is. As you've read...my heart is with the kids of Timothy Project.  A couple weeks ago, I pitched the idea of shoebox Christmas (or did I just develop it).  The point is, I felt very strongly that each child should have something to open on Christmas (since they celebrate Christmas) AND to push the limit, this shouldn't be something that the community supports. It should come from the members of the Timothy Project team.

The catch is, there are currently 26 children apart of Timothy Guyana and maybe about 10 non-Guyanese members...this inevitably meant...some of us were going to have to take more than just one kid. Because the majority of the members are in fact unemployed full-time students, we set a very reasonable cap for this initiative and made the announcement. It was well received and we had some members who took as many as 6 kids!?! 

Awesomeness!

Star giftwrapper, your truly, ended up having to wrap about 70%  of the gifts which was interesting in and of itself because the boxes couldn't be sealed. This occured Friday night after we drove around collecting the gifts (reverse-Santa). Then, the next day, we drove 8 hours (4 hours each leg) to Toronto to drop off the gifts and send them off...

Fun times indeed. Here are some pics from the two days...

boxes all stuffed and wrapped and ready to be loaded in the car

Schantal's back trunk...looking a lot like Christmas!

last minute finishing touches

 we had to get creative with some of the boxes that didn't have a top that came off, so we wrapped the bottom and then tied it all together with a lovely bow.  Those are what you see on the top of the box as we began to pack it...

This process was also interesting. We had planned to purchase a barrell but with all these boxes that was not going to work. However, there was another option...a large cardboard box which worked out to be about the same cost and maybe get there a couple days earlier. The box was the largest they had and we had maybe about 1-2 inches of space left. 

Definitely a God-thing since we just let everyone find their own shoeboxes.

 The ride back was nice. It was a beautiful Fall day. I felt this truck was smiling at us.

And as we got closer home, the sunset was our guide

...just look at the beauty of what our God made!

Grace peace and love,

Gia

wasted life?

Losing my life doesn't scare me; wasting it does.

I saw this status post on Facebook about a month ago and have since adopted it as a signature for my email.  It called to me because (again), at the heart of the statement of this idea that each of us has a purpose and life is only fulfilled when we are aligned and living on purpose.

It's Monday. What plans do you have for the week? What does your to-do list look like?

Have you carved any time for pursuing purpose? That is of course, if you aren't already living and working in your calling. If that's the case, then continue to press on.

For me, I guess this week is working toward getting the first draft for my dissertation completed. It's not the ultimate but it's a huge step toward the ultimate.  It is a fight though...I've been finding myself in a bit of a funk related to this project but I will not lose sight of the end...it is near and I've just got to continuing pressing.

Other than that, my to-do list looks devoid of anything "important". Maybe I'll carve some time to develop that idea about the Girls Conferences that I mentioned last week...

Tell us about anything exciting, life-altering, inspirational that is planned for today or this week.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Girl Time

You always know your passion because strong feelings are invoked when the topic arises.  For me, it seems I'm passionate about so many things...however one particular group which has stuck with me from as long as I remember having a passion- young girls.

http://pinterest.com/giavana81/inspiration/

Of course, this explains Mercy House and It's Girl Time. It's all about me finding ways to connect with, empower and promote wellness and resilience among my younger counterparts.  Because of this, I have a collection of activities, sayings, Bible stories that are all stored up for whenever I get an opportunity to work with this population. I saw this picture and was like "YES!!". It was immediately "liked" and "repinned" on Pinterest. ;)

With that said, I'm excited about a new idea/direction for Girl Time. My pastor suggested it and it literally only took 2 minutes for me to think, process and run with the idea. Details are still very fuzzy at this time, but essentially I would like to have a "conference" for young girls. 

It will be FUN, AFFIRMING and all things PRETTY.

I'm thinking spa sessions and tea time....more details to come soon.  I'm also getting excited that this is something I can market to other youth groups, churches, civic organizations to host for their girls and tweens...who knows. It's definitely within the mandate of Girl Time and a great stepping stone toward achieving the vision of Mercy House.

I love hearing from you, so if you have suggestions for this project or your own, please share in the comments section below.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

What does your future hold?

Yesterday, I sat through a training session as a part of my duties for my internship. There wasn't much presented that I didn't know, but two of the assignments stood out to me.

The first was to draw your timeline...essentially, getting the college-aged students to think beyond today and construct some semblance of a life plan. Based on some of the responses, I still think some people did not get it...the points on their "timeline" were vague and unrealistic and when they were challenged to think about resources and specifics, they simply refused to. I took the opportunity to begin drafting my 5 year plan which my good friend, Kaylus, had suggested I do about a week or so earlier.

It's funny because I ALWAYS have a plan but when the question was put forth to me, I realized that I essentially stopped planning life once I hit grad school. All plans for the past 4 years, were surrounding the achievement of the major projects and such associated with the attainment of the PhD. This meant that I needed to now think about what I wanted, where I wanted to be and how I plan on achieving said goals after this degree. Yes, I still have another 2 years until I walk across the stage but considering 2013 is pretty much already here, it is definitely a good time to start revisiting my life plan.

I still haven't completed it as yet BUT I've got details through 2014 and highlights for 2015. I'll spend some more time on it in the days to come to get some more highlights through 2017 (at least).

The 2nd assignment was to construct a personal vision statement. wooo who knew this small task would be soooo challenging. Without going through the details, I'm excited to report that I got mine drafted [insert happy dance]. I'm still praying about whether this is "it" or if something else need to be added but I'm excited! Beyond excited...ecstatic.

"For everyone that I work with, my aim in life is to AMPLIFY their strengths, CHALLENGE their faulty thinking, attitudes and belief systems and thus assist with bringing about CHANGE so they can live more fulfilled and meaningful lives."

What do you think? too long? too vague? too pie in the sky?

Those key words: amplify, challenge, and change were a part of a professor's philosophy and pedagogy and although I interviewed her almost a year ago, those words are seemingly on repeat in my head.  It resonated with me over these months, and it actually shifted my own approach so that I looked at my experiences as challenges to bring about change in my life. Challenges are now welcomed rather than avoided.

I've committed to be on a never-ending growth tract and decided my life's mission is to do the same with the lives I'm blessed to interact with.

Do you have a personal vision statement? or something similar? share with us in the comments section below.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

A hug from a stranger

There is something about when I'm "home". I somehow don't have a routine...part of it is because of the excitement of being home, another part is because of my husband's lack of a schedule and then,  because this is "home"- I guess my brain goes into a more relaxed, go-slow mode...not sure.

Anyway, I said all that to say that I've been having some difficulty with getting my regular Monday and Wednesday blog posts since I came home...and I think this lack of structure is the primary explanation. All excuses aside, I should get to the point of this post...

the impact of a small gesture.

About a month ago when I was in Canada, I experienced what I've been writing about. You know I'm the queen of encouraging all of us to give a smile, a hug, an extra word of encouragement...something to make someone's day. Well, it happened to me. And the weird part was: 1. I wasn't having a bad day and 2. It was in church.

Essentially, I'm just going about the routine of using the restroom after church before the long 45 minute drive home  and as I stand in line (because there is ALWAYS a line for women's restroom), this lady comes up to me and gives me a hug. Okay, so that's not weird...I am in church. That is expected. But what she did after is what shook me to the core and literally brought tears to my eyes..

she looked me in the eyes, told me that I looked beautiful and that God loves me.

I think she may have said something else but I need you to know it was not the words, I know I'm beautiful :)) and I KNOW that God loves me...it was the warmth, the intentionality, the "I see you"/"You are not invisible" nature of the act that still has me thinking of it and getting all warm inside because of it. It was love. It was genuine.

It took less than a minute for this woman to validate my humanity when for all intents and purposes, I didn't really think I needed validating at that moment...you know- it wasn't like it was a bad day or I was feeling exceptionally sad or lonely or anything..it was just a normal Sunday....

until she came along.

And THAT is what drives me. THAT gets me excited. THAT is what I want to do with everyone (or at least someone) each day:

Genuinely show the love of our Father, so the individual is validated, encouraged and rejuvenated.

I should note that apparently I wasn't her only victim. ;) Two awkward minutes later (as I stood fighting tears), this burly man comes lumbering over to her (as she too now waited in line for the restroom) and is literally gushing thanks. He was so overcome by her "genuine hug and kind words" that he had to come looking for her to tell her thanks.

That, my friends, is the love of God in action.

Have you had one of those experiences before? tell us about it!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

lil ole me?

21 Saul answered, “But I’m only a Benjaminite, from the smallest of Israel’s tribes, and from the most insignificant clan in the tribe at that. Why are you talking to me like this?” -1 Samuel 9:21

Have you ever thought that? So maybe you aren't Jewish so you aren't of the tribe of Benjamin...but I'm sure there is something in your family history or even personal experiences that seemingly disqualifies you. You don't have a high school diploma. no college degree. you were abused as a child. you don't speak very well. you are fat. ugly. poor. old....(you get the picture).

Based on the flawed standards of this world, there are soooooo many things that disqualify us each day from pursuing the great call that God has placed on our lives. But we must not respond like Saul did in the above Bible story. We must recognize the flaws but recognize that God specializes in things that seem like they "shouldn't be". It makes me laugh each time.

If you are a church goer, you know the stories: the liar (Jacob), the murderer (Moses), the prostitute (Rahab), the adulterer + murderer (David)....yes the list goes on and on but in each instance, something great came from each of these individuals.

Greatness, indeed, doesn't require that the entire world is changed...

greatness is doing what you were made to  do...and in the timing when you should be doing it.

I love how Saul's story continues...

22-23 Samuel took Saul and his servant and led them into the dining hall at the shrine and seated them at the head of the table. There were about thirty guests. Then Samuel directed the chef, “Bring the choice cut I pointed out to you, the one I told you to reserve.”

24 The chef brought it and placed it before Saul with a flourish, saying, “This meal was kept aside just for you. Eat! It was especially prepared for this time and occasion with these guests.”

Saul ate with Samuel—a memorable day!"

It's a beautiful thing, the favour we experience when we are aligned with God's will for our lives...lil ole Saul had a very fancy dinner with Samuel, who was really the most important person among the Israelites (after God of course).  After this Saul gets the word that he has been chosen to be the first King of Israel. A big deal for a little Benjaminite.

What are you "called" to do? Does it seem like too big of a deal for little ole you? I know for me, Mercy House is a huge deal. I always hear people say if your dream isn't big enough to scare you, then go back to sleep (or some derivative of that)- meaning that everyone has a purpose and taken at face-value, that call will seem too big a fit for you (like the kid wearing her parents clothing). BUT its only in this situation, where we are stretched, challenged and changed to become our best selves.

I'm struggling with taking on Timothy Bahamas. It seems too big for me...especially right now. I've got many disqualifiers:  too shy, not very connected, no money, full-time student...BUT fully aware of everything that indicates why I should NOT take on this project, I realize there are so many reasons why I should.

This is for me, right now in this season..and for that, I press onward.

Will you join me? Not necessarily with Timothy project...or Mercy House..but join me in the press toward living in the purpose that God has designed  for you!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Monday meditations

Sensor your thoughts, maximize your future.

http://pinterest.com/giavana81/word/

Side note: ever grateful to God for keeping us and our nation safe throughout Hurricane Sandy and I send prayers towards those living along the East Coast of the US.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

SHAPE

About 10 years ago (or more), I read The Purpose-Driven Life. It spoke to me..and although I can't remember quotes or even the chapters, the one thing I often think about is the acronym SHAPE. I wouldn't lie to to you to say that I remembered exactly what each of those letters meant but I always remembered the general idea...I was made, divinely designed to fulfill a particular purpose and if I paid enough attention, this would be really obvious in the topics and things that I am interested in, my talents and even to some extent through my experiences.

From purposedriven.com, here is what the SHAPE acronym stands for:

• Spiritual Gifts: A set of special abilities that God has given you to share his love and serve others.
• Heart: The special passions God has given you so that you can glorify him on earth.
• Abilities: The set of talents that God gave you when you were born, which he also wants you to use to make an impact for him.
• Personality: The special way God wired you to navigate life and fulfill your unique Kingdom purpose.
• Experiences: Those parts of your past, both positive and painful, that God intends to use in great ways.

Yesterday my Pastor's message was pretty much about this, without using this language. (Once the video is available, I'll upload it for those who are interested. I don't want to go into too much detail about it.)  The thing is, I feel like I've been hit over the head over and over with this theme for this entire year...

from The Purpose Driven Life Shaped to Serve series (Robert Johnson)

I know what my SHAPE is....have you figured out what yours is?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

...in abundance and in famine

This post is somewhat of a part two and this was much harder than most because I'm being totally vulnerable here.

This lesson began a couple weeks ago (see here) and as the season of famine has continued, I have seen greater lessons for me. Nothing new or earth shattering mind you, simple truths I know but of course were challenged with life and my struggle to not only know of them (truth) but to live it!

Quick review: Earlier in this year, I was in abundance...full-time-student kind of abundance. I juggled 3 jobs and full time school (research, reading and writing) from January to about August and the cumulative pay was enough to cover all my expenses and then some...

End result: I was very proud of my savings. Not that I was boasting to anyone about it..no one really knew it existed but in my heart, I'd somehow (as I shared here) transferred my dependence from God to my savings.

Well as I shared a couple weeks ago, the savings had started to dwindle. What I didn't share was that was just one savings. (insert embarrassed face here). Yup. There was a back up savings to the savings...(I'm a girl-isn't there always?) And now that the savings is gone, the back up savings has dwindlied and once again, I felt the pinch (more like onslaught) of anxiety. It's crazy since I just went through this....

So yes, the lesson last time was that I had shifted my dependence and forgot WHO was my source. This time though, I recognized that the anxiety wasn't so much the fear that God wasn't providing (or wouldn't provide)....

I KNOW that God always comes through for me. Sometimes its really tight deadlines but nonetheless He comes through. ALWAYS. So in my quiet time, I tried to gain understanding that if I really do know and believe that He will come through...why am I still getting all bent out of shape....and there the realization slapped me in the face....I recognized the unspoken question that I was entertaining [subconsciously]:

What happens when it all runs out? 

Of course the "it" here is not my meager, barely-hitting-4figures-savings...

The IT here is God's provision. 

The continued lesson to this is a revelation of my own trust issues. ouch. [Now you understand why this is very hard to share]. I'm a Christian. I LOVE Jesus. I believe. But oh there is still some shaky ground to how I TRUST Him...more accurately, how much I trust His character, who He says He is.

Head knowledge dictates: He's the God of the Universe. His provision is the very air I breathe. So clearly it can't run out...but that doesn't stop the broken, scarred little person inside of me from questioning whether or not this is really true. :sigh:  

The cool thing as I wrote and reflect, is that this is what these lessons are about. Uncovering the holes and inconsistencies in my relationship with God and (re)surrendering my heart so that the relationship can be taken to another level.

I'm riding this out as I type...and I do not know what else this soul-searching will reveal but I'm here and I'm continuing on in the course. Rolling with the punches and extra careful to glean the lessons and whenever possible, share them with you. Humbly.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

Pressing on...

I'm tired....like not just the regular tired but sleepy. Hopefully I get a better night's rest tonight, but as I sat here looking at the computer screen and thought of what I wanted to "say" today, I was kinda blanking out.

So I sat here and reviewed my goals for this blog. I continued writing this blog  for the purpose of encouraging, uplifting and challenging my readers to live their best life. I'm about making a mark on this world through living a life that is purposeful and God-centered. If I could find 1,000 different ways to get across the importance of pursing passion and purpose, I would. :) I firmly believe it is the true secret to success and happiness that so many people long for.

Well...enough talking for today (you know I try to keep Fridays a light read).  Instead, I want you to tune in to short  interview which is a follow up on a series that my Pastor (featured) preached on last month called "Running to Win".

Enjoy

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Happy Thanksgiving (Canada)

Well, it is Thanksgiving in Canada and of course yesterday the sermon in Church centered around being grateful.

Pastor Rick at WCF, gave us three hallmarks of living that we should incorporate into our daily living (based off 1 Chronicles 16:4):
1. remember the blessings
2. give thanks
3. to praise or celebrate

These seem simple enough and without question, I know incorporating them into my daily routine, particularly as a substitute for complaining will reap great benefits. However, in my quiet time this morning, I thought about how "easy" (or not) this would be to do during the "winter" experiences and seasons of our life. You know, when it seems that nothing in life is going right, we are suffering a huge loss, grieving the death of a loved one, when the cupboards are bare, when the prognosis is negative, when our loved ones are acting the fool...yea the list can go on and on.

The thing I realized about these three steps is that they are actually in order. If you do not remember the blessings of yesterday (or even the blessings of today), it will be difficult for you to give thanks....and without both of these steps, what do you celebrate?

Some days I wish I had an opportunity to engage in the Jewish culture. I'm not sure how it works now with modern Jews, but the Bible tells us that they shared their stories with their kids. I imagine them all sitting around the elder of the family and listening to how God delivered their ancestors on the many different occasions. With those kinds of rituals, it's almost impossible to forget the blessings.



Let's take a second (or two) to reflect on everything you have. Now thank God for His provision and then Praise Him!

Today I remember:

• how much my parents sacrificed to get me a good education
• how God financially provided for two parents (no college degree) and for the most part minimum-wage jobs to maintain a household of 6 children...there was never a day where there wasn't food, clothing, shelter. We even had vacations!
• how God brought people in my life, in Minnesota, in West Palm and now...in Canada. People who have shared their lives, their houses/food/resources and their love to a [at first] stranger from the Bahamas.
• how we (my roomie and I) were kept safe on a roadtrip when we ignorantly jeopardized our own safety (read story here)
• how the supplies didn't run out and every child/family was blessed

The tears are streaming as I type and I want you to know, selecting these five experiences to remember was difficult because there has been so many times, where I have no doubt, it has been God's hand in my life, protecting me, providing for me and loving me. 

I'm going to need to save this, and of course add to it with all the other events, because I want to raise my future child(ren) on these stories. I want them to hear about how God is active and living today in their parents' lives, not only the awesome Bible stories.

Today I remember. I commit to remember, to be thankful and to celebrate because God has never once forgotten me. I feel it's only good manners that I graciously return the favor.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

What do you have to give?

This is the 4th installment in the post-Guyana series...my reflections.

I was commenting to Schantal that the project itself didn't become "real" until I saw those kids. Until I got a glimpse into their lives...until each name had a face.

One particular face was not very pleasant.  I'm not referring to the features that make her "beautiful" or "ugly", I'm talking about the seemingly angry way in which she interacted with everyone. Someone actually commented that she seemed ungrateful or rude. For a second (and I literally mean one second), I entertained thoughts about "not liking her" because of this rough exterior but I quickly shook it off and forced an even bigger smile than usual as I met with her and her mom.

It was then that I got the inside scoop.  Without going into the details, lets just say that this 14 year old, has more on her plate than the average kid. It was no wonder why she seemed so rough...hardened...mean. Additionally, because I showed myself friendly, I got a smile. It was somewhere during our interview, I can't remember what I told her but from the scowl, a real life genuine smile emerged and it rocked my world. The smile was fleeting but it was genuine and it was enough to keep the memory of this young lady ever before me as I continue to pray for her, her healing, her strength and the healing of their family.

For this teenager, it wasn't the school clothes, the school bags and supplies, not even the shoes or the food, that made her smile again (I told you, she had a perpetual angry face) but the other smile I witnessed was when I gave her a $2 headband (like the one pictured).


So essentially, my time, unconditional attention and care and the small gift seemingly made someone's day. Makes me wonder what else I can give to impact someone's life.

The next time I saw this young lady, she looked excited to see us. I think we all were shocked. Maybe it was our conversation, maybe the workshop, maybe the school supplies, maybe the headband...who knows what it was- but the end result is a softened heart. My prayer is that this young lady now feels less burdened, less neglected, a smidgen more hopeful and definitely loved.

Have you ever had one of those experiences? Where something you thought to be insignificant seemingly changed someone's demeanor or even their day or better yet..their life? please share in the comments section below!

Grace peace and love,

Gia

Fear Factor pt 2

Tabby waking up from nap

In part one, I introduced you to Tabby...the cutest little love bug of a kitten you would find. And I'm (or was) afraid of her. :sigh:

I also began telling you about my personal challenge to tackle my fears as I am presented with them...this was why, I  didn't object when my roomie asked if getting a cat was okay. I was like "sure". Definitely. I even hooked her up with a friend who was fostering kittens and encouraged the adoption 100%. Needless to say she was shocked when she saw my reaction to the cat (see post here for that hilarity).

Now personally, I know myself. I knew my tolerance for cats...we can coexist in the same space once the cat stays as far as possible away from me. It's okay to pass by me, sniff quickly and go about your business but friendly interactions are a no-no. But of course, I chose to not say anything.

This was my chance to do two things:
1. To not rob my roommate of the opportunity to have her own pet to love on (and keep her company) as Ari does so well for me and
2. To face this dumb fear and overcome it.

I mean seriously. They are cats. Tons of people have them as pets...maybe not many Bahamians (or apparently Nigerians) but it is an unfounded, irrational fear. I've never been hurt by one and don't know anyone who has (except Schantal when she did something dumb, but then she still loves them). On top of that, why should I allow something this insignificant to impact my peace of mind (when we happen to be in the same space). Not to mention, this is a huge deterrent for visiting friends.

As I reflected on the what this step meant, I realized that too easily I (we) allow really insignificant, unfounded, and irrational beliefs about people, things, goals to hinder us from living fully. This experience made me really think about what other "things" am I so afraid of, that it is hindering me.  Fear of failure. Fear of being embarrased. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loneliness. Fear of discomfort. Fear of what people will say or think. Fear of failure (hmm did I say that already? yes it's that big).

The TRUTH of the matter is, unlike Tabby's quick agility, fear is NOT innate to us. We were not born with it. (2 Timothy 1:7) It is not God's will for our life in any form. We are called to be in authority, walking in peace and love.

Even if you aren't a Christian- Is life REALLY that much better, that more fulfilling, when we live in fear just going through the motions of a dull comatose routine tucked away in some form of a shell, when there is so much out there to conquer? This formerly "scary" girl will be the first to say: I'll settle for the comatose routine when I'm dead.  I've got dreams. I got plans. I've got the world to conquer and I'm running hard and fast after it [Shout out to P. Mery ;)]

You know how some really random things people say will stick with you for years? Well, it was bout 11 years ago, my then roommate Tiffany challenged me.

 "Gia, how do you know what happiness feels like if you've never felt sad?". 

It was one of those conversations which grew me up. I'll never forget it. And yes, sadness and fear are two different things, but the principle remains, how do you know what is fun, exciting, thrilling, heart-pumping if you are laying still and doing nothing? We only know darkness because we have experienced light. We only know hurt/rejection, because we have tasted, glimpsed..experienced love.

I asked you about your fears last week and now I want to challenge you to face 'em. Not all at a time. Baby steps. But definitely try it. Not only will you feel excitement and pride for the "accomplishment" but you will also be one step closer to living your life fully.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Service

Happy Friday ya'll.

Make each day count...even Fridays. ;) Whether you work for a company or for yourself or do not "work" in the traditional sense- there is always an opportunity to serve. It is our duty to ensure that we are maximizing these opportunities...The smallest step to making a difference in the world.

Challenge for today: Find an opportunity to "serve" someone today. I'll let you be creative about how this looks but keep in mind, that service is an action born out of a pure heart (not obligation).

Share below in the comments section how you were able to leave your mark in someone's life today!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Choices

Every day we make choices, what are yours today.

After listening to an archived sermon from my home church -Epic Church Bahamas, I was encouraged, challenged and reminded that I must choose to continue to run this race toward my goals.

And so I will.

Make it a great day!

Grace peace and love,

Gia

Fear Factor pt 1

I'm a scary person...the psychologist in me attributes some of this to a very careful personality, some to exposure to domestic violence as a child and then some to just general life experiences (mine and the stories of others).

I've determined...apparently, to start battling these fears. I'm not sure when it really happened. Maybe earlier this year when I told God that I was tired of being afraid and to take the fear from me, maybe/maybe not...I really don't know- all I know is that I'm finding that I'm intentionally putting myself (or allowing myself) in some pretty "scary" situations with the hope of confronting and overcoming it.

One of the most recent of these challenges is my fear of cats. Yes. the innocent little house animals that millions of people have for pets. In this instance, this is ALL environment. My mom hates them. Most people I grew up around hates them...more accurately afraid of them. My husband, my mother-in-law....you name the role and I'll get a "ewww" response.

My roommate---not so much. She loves them. She's barely into her 3rd decade of life and she's probably had at least 5 cats...yes, I see cat-lady in her future. ;)) But nonetheless, she got one over the summer and while I was away, I have been pumping myself up for this cohabitation. Well, hopefully a cohabitation and not a show-down. Yes me and the cat.

Tabby in the desk drawer

The cat in question is Tabitha. Tabby Banks. Tabbers. Tabs. Tabby wabby (as I sometimes now affectionately call her). She is cute. Like very cute (even for a cat). Although, nowhere near as cute as my Ari..but super cute nonetheless. She's also the sweetest, most loveable, like seriously needy animal out there. If she could be cuddled and coddled and curled up in your arms/lap/legs for 24 hours, she would. Well minus the one-two hours each day of random uncontrollable play hunting that she does (she's only about 5 months).

curled up for nap time

But the first week or so here was rough...even with this super duper cute, harmless, very small animal. I was deathly afraid. I knew I'd get over it and I am honestly still in process. But it wasn't easy. She always wanted to be around me. I commented to friends that her goal was to become BFFs when I only wanted amicable acquaintanceship   :D But she is a persistent little love bug. In the words of Steve Urkel "She's wearing me dowwwwnnn". And so I relented. A little bit. I touched her. I didn't squeal everytime she came near me. I didn't  run away when she would approach me. I allowed her to touch me..only the parts where clothes covered of course! And now, 3 weeks later, I can even pick her up and cuddle for a couple seconds.

Mind you, she still kinda freaks me out. She is just too quick, has no limits (can jump any heights) and too agile. :shudders: but she means no harm, it is all innate natural cat behaviour.

Some may say, this was unnecessary but it was pure unadulterated fear. I knew I was being silly but....:shrugs:

Are you afraid of something like I am of cats? Share with us in the comments section below. Don't be shy or embarrassed, we all have something that brings the "irrational" out in us.

I'll be back with the lesson from this on-going experience next week.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Square peg, round hole

I am, for all intents and purposes, a passionate person. When I love, I love hard. I when I hurt, I hurt hard. When I feel....well lets just say, it can be dramatic. As I get older and wiser, I've learned to tone down the drama (emotional) but recently, I've shifted the energy and now in pursuit of the real, meaningful beat of my heart. Pursuing the reason why I was born. The thing that makes me feel alive. I'm clearly not talking about the sexual, romantic, erotic "passion" that is portrayed and dramaticized in pop culture. I'm talking about so much more.

There is no substitute. It is a driving force, a motivator unlike none other. It is God-given. We've all got it...even if we have it locked up somewhere inside of us...It sits, waiting to be unleashed. Sometimes, because we stifle our pursuits or tailor our lives for what is "reasonable" or what is lucrative, we miss out. Simple as that.

At the heart of passion, is purpose and if we are honest with ourselves, at the heart of purpose is our Creator. He made us with a purpose and a calling and He has given us the talents, desires and individual resources to make it happen..or at the very least, we've got an innate DESIRE (passion) to make it happen. Sometimes the other resources are only revealed, when we begin to walk in faith toward it.

What are you passionate about? What makes your heart sing? or What makes you a geek? ;) You know, you can do this (or talk about this) for hours and not feel weary? Not tired, because that's a physical state that shows our humanness..but weary. You know that I'm sooooo tired and drained and near dead that most of us feel when we try to be and do what we weren't made for. square peg in a round hole syndrome.

What were you made to do...are you square? round? star? or even an octagon? :D


Grace peace and love,
Gia

Sights (and sounds) of Guyana

Unforgettable. The experience was fulfilling, draining, hope-inspiring all at once. I have no regrets about anything, other than I probably could have saved a bit harder so that I had more money to help out more. My goal going there was not to buy souvenirs or even see the country, it was to serve. I was blessed to serve and even see a teensy bit of the city. Next time, we'll carve out some time to enjoy the beauty of the country. Experience now tells us that we probably should have worked in a day of rest.

Here are a couple of the sights (and sounds) from my trip.

Enjoy! you  may have to turn it up at the end because the sound gets really low on the "thank you".

By the way, feel free to share this post or the link. We are looking for more volunteers, particularly as we expand into The Bahamas for 2013. 

To get the project ready, we need:

Administrative volunteers (help with planning, recruiting, fundraising, organizing, budgeting)

Once the project is launched, we will need

Academic mentors

"buddies" (someone to be a friend)

Specialty services volunteers

Administrative volunteers

Spiritual mentors

Be the change you want to see in the world!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Provision

I want to briefly share this past week's experience with provision. I've talked enough about it, that you know I spent a week in Guyana and it really was not a cheap trip. I gave up some things and intentionally took a summer job just to be able to carry my own weight on the trip.

Well before that trip, I had a couple of jobs and life was good. I was living comfortably and creating a lovely savings for myself. What I didn't know was that God was setting me up for this season. So upon my return to Canada, which has really been less than 2 weeks, I've watched a fairly healthy savings (think full time student savings..not full time fancy profession savings :) ) just drizzle down to virtually nothing. It's not only basic needs but now my car is sucking the very life out of my financial existence.  Ironically, I now live 1 hour from school so a healthy, properly functioning car is not only a luxury but a NEED.

I began to get very sad...somehow I had begun to transfer my faith from God as my source, to the savings account as my source. After realizing this mistake, and getting things back in line, things took a completely different perspective. I began to really see how God was not only using my almost-depleted savings to help ensure my needs were covered but also other ways too.

I recall one particular day last week when the mechanic not only found me two slightly used tires for $90 (I was looking at $250 otherwise) but he also offered to fix my muffler ($500 job) on credit with the arrangement that I pay him in installments. Additionally, he went and fixed my hubcap on his own--glued it on so it didn't fall off on one of my journeys back and forth from school to home...

I need ya'll to know that I visit this particular auto shop, maybe once-twice a year and I don't know him from Adam. He does remember me and my husband from bringing the car over the past 3 years but somehow God has touched this man's heart to favour me so that I can be safe.

That same evening, I wanted to go to the grocery store but was tired and opted not to. Came home, checked the account, it was down to $20 so thought..hmm happy I was tired...I would have been sooo embarrassed if the debit transaction was declined. The thought crossed my mind about what would happen for food for the next couple days but I didn't worry about it.

A couple hours later, my roommie comes home with platters of food. SERIOUSLY. Platters. We definitely had enough food to keep us through the weekend and maybe even into early the following week if we creatively combined pieces to make meals.

Did I mention that this was the same day, hubby texted me that the scholarship cheque was ready? Praise Dance. Scholarship cheque means that every 2 weeks, I can get a couple dollars for the gas and food bill. This won't kick in until October but I'm not worried about the days in between. Praise Dance



It is all about where your eyes are focused. I could have easily missed these many instances of favour had I been all consumed with what was in my bank account..but re-fixing my eyes to Jesus who is the one who began and completes this faith journey, I am on....gave me a completely different outcome.

How has/is God provided(ing) in times of "lack"?


Grace peace and love,
Gia

Affirmations

from http://pinterest.com/giavana81/inspiration/

Nothing else anyone says matters. Some times we have to encourage ourselves, and other times, we need to encourage others. As you go about on this Friday, remind yourself of this and please be sure to remind others too! 

Grace peace and love,

Gia

Reflections...from Guyana Pt.1

I'm going to begin a mini-series with my reflections and experiences from Guyana. I'm not sure how long it will go for but I'll keep it to Wednesday posts.

Well you know how it all started, if you don't check here. The trip in was smooth but long...more about that here.  But in any event, I spent about 6 days in a small city inside Georgetown, Guyana. I personally met with maybe 15 kids and parents, while the rest of the team interviewed the others. However, by the end of the trip, I had an opportunity to have meaningful conversation with 23 (out of 26 kids). I'm kicking myself that I missed an entire 3 boys but I guess I am only one person. ;)

The reflection for today is on giving. There were a lot of images and conversations that are etched into my brain; one of which is with a young boy-Antonio. He is by definition, an orphan.  He lives with family but his parents are dead and he takes care of himself. He is a good kid but no one wants to (or have money to) take care of him so he's been passed around. He has basically nothing.

He comes to church with us, as we invited all families to join us. Our conversation goes as follows:
Me: What you get there Antonio?
A: Mi dinner and food fa tomoro at school.
Me: What is that? (pointing to the container in his hands)
A: Roti (opens small container) that Aunty M gave me.
 he picks off a piece and begins chewing. He also has a small bag of "Famous Amos" cookies.
Me: That doesn't seem like a lot for dinner
A: shrugs and smiles. Its okay

(picture of a roti)

A couple minutes later I feel a tap on my back

A: Miss?
Me: Yes
A: here (He hands one of his cookies with me)
I stumble to find words to decline..but in barely a whisper, I reply with a soft "thanks" and a smile.
Inside my heart just melts and my eyes begin to sting.

I walk away and enjoy my cookie just shaken at the very core. This kid has nothing. He has maybe two rotis and a bag of cookies and apparently this is his meal for today and tomorrow for school. Why...why would he offer to share his bag of cookies with me?

Didn't I come here to share with him [them]?

I learned about 10 minutes later that he offered a cookie to each of the team members (3 in total). If I recall those bags of cookies probably only have 8 cookies in them...

What do you have to give today? Even in little, I'm sure we can find something to offer someone in the spirit of our Father.  It's just not enough for me [anymore] to offer out of my abundance. If I'm going to live life the way God wants me to, and for His glory...then sometimes my gifts will have to be a sacrifice. I can't help but think of David response in 2 Samuel 24:24

"No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the LORD my God that have cost me nothing."


Grace peace and love,
Gia

What are you hoping for?

Yesterday, I spent a good chunk of time (at least 3.5 hrs) working on my dissertation proposal. YaY me! That is huge ya'll...seriously. Anyway, my dissertation (final research project for a doctoral degree) is on hope. I'm proposing a new way to think about hope..more than just a feeling or a soft-feel-good-word.

Being engrossed in all that literature about hope, made me think of my own hopes...[Not to bore you] In my proposal, hope is a process (not a state). It is something that changes. It involves our feelings, our thoughts, our actions and even influences from external sources (other people).  I suggest that to truly hope, you have identified a goal (object, event or thing) that you are hoping for. It is for the future (immediate, mid or distant). You not only identify the goal, but you have identified ways to get the goal. You can't "hope" for something to happen without a plan...that's just mushy feelings. You also can't hope for something, with a plan and not do something to make it happen...or get the help of others to make it happen, that's just lazy (unless of course you've already done your part and now you are waiting). With that in mind, it is possible to be hopeful and still have feelings of doubt. I'll admit that my levels of hope toward the goal of finishing this doctorate has waned every now and again. ;)

To hope requires our conscious thought and actions but it usually starts with a dream. You've got to identify something to be hopeful toward.

What about you..what are you hoping for?

If you find that you do not have any hope, close your eyes and dream. You can *think* about the dream later...but just be free. What are your passions? What do you love doing? What do you feel is missing?

As the letter says above...I believe there is ALWAYS hope. My greatest hope is in God. His word says that those who hope in Him will never be ashamed. The hope I have in Him, is that He is who He says He is. That He will do everything that He says He will do. That I am everything He has said I am. From that hope, I'm free to have another hundred (or more) hopes. :D

Grace peace and love,
Gia