Remaining focused

Last week was interesting. I got some indicators in the past month that my beloved and fairly new laptop was having some problems...one of which was "blue screen of death". After a quick google search last Monday, I realized that I needed to really investigate this matter. What I learned was that my hard drive was corrupted (?) I'm not sure if that was the term used, but regardless, I needed a new one....and fast before this unstable one crashed!

It is funny how, when you are stressed, how the smallest of things become major. Now, in all fairness, as a full time graduate student who is about to propose a dissertation based on research and courses from the past three years, (that are all stored on said computer), I think I legitimately had a reason to have a mini-freak out but I knew that this was so much more than that.

The very cool part of this week though, was the fact that I never once lost it. 

I began a journaling challenge about 3 weeks ago (Girlfriends in God).  Essentially, I record how God has shown up in my life each day [sudden glory moments] and since I began that, I've been more aware to ASK God to show up in specific areas. Then at the beginning of each day, I reflect and carefully review how God responded to each request from the previous day.

It also made me more aware of some moments as they are happening...I was able to smile and nod when I recognized God's hand in it. I was more aware to look for God showing up (remember my post about expectancy).  Those were the coolest...experiencing a "sudden glory moment" and recognizing it for what it is at that point.

This week was no different. As I learned more and more of what I was facing, I presented it to God each morning and asked for clarity.

Can I say, that each step of the way, I got answers. clearly. 

What it also did was minimize my anxiety about the challenge I was facing. I'll be honest and share that although it may have minimized anxiety about the computer situation, I still had other lessons to learn (part two to come)... In any event, the week was THAT much better because each day, I took my cares and requests to God and then looked for Him to show up and/or reveal the answer.

How was your week last week? Any lessons learned? Better yet...what were your glory moments?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Prayer without expectancy = unbelief

I stumbled upon this quote in my journal this morning and smiled because over the weekend, I was faced with this reality...the reality that I sometimes pray, asking for various things and somehow still do not EXPECT God to answer the prayer.

As I am a big proponent for self-development, I consciously make an effort to identify areas of my life to work on. This is an ongoing thing...one of my personal values is that if I am living, I am growing (not just physically but in every aspect I can). Typically it is through various situations, that I am able to identify my "growth areas". One of the growth areas for this year, has been about being a good steward of my finances. I took it a bit further after reading a book, Living on the Third River, and asked God to literally stretch me in the area of giving so I can truly become a conduit as it relates to my finances.

This past weekend, while in Chicago, I visited an awesome ministry, All Nations Worship Assembly, and while there are literally about 4 blog posts from my experience there, the one for this post, had to do with giving. At one point in the service, toward the end (I think) the minister said (paraphrase): "I declare that we will be without lack, that we will stumble upon money, we will open wallets/drawers and find money that we didn't know we had...we would open our car doors and look down and find bills..." you get the point.

My response: an emphatic "Wooooo yes Lord, Amen!" in agreement with the declaration that the minister made. 

Fast forward about 3 hours later, I am at lunch with a fellow Bahamian who attends that church while my friend attended the wedding (reason for the road trip) and this is where the "object lesson" began. So even as I had come into agreement less than 5 hrs previously, I call shame on myself for literally being surprised when I stumbled upon $20 in my wallet! :gasp: This, unfortunately, was after I had already had to use my credit card to pay for my food, since the bill was slightly more than the cash I had. Nevertheless, I quickly thanked God for the blessing and left it in my wallet, smiling to myself about how amazing my God is. In line with my submission to being a conduit with my finances, this Third River living, God quickly provided me with an opportunity to bless someone else with my blessing.

Without going into detail of that story, let’s just say that I was obedient.....and then it happened again (twice). This is how the scenario unfolded- I checked my wallet, accounted for the bill(s) inside, only to open it again at a later point (the same wallet) and find another bill added to what I had previously seen. Woah!!! It could be that I can't count or I am careless but I honestly think this an object lesson that God has allowed as it relates to asking with expectancy, particularly since there are a couple of big ticket requests (well big ticket to me) that I have made and have been struggling with the how and if "it" will come.  Nonetheless, by the second incident, I began praying (and continue to do so), that my faith would increase, and with it, my sense of expectancy as I pray, so that I will not be surprised when God answers but just grateful for His provision and faithfulness.

I encourage you to take inventory of your expectancy level toward the prayers you have surrendered. Have you asked and forgotten to look out for the answer/response/blessing? Have you asked as the "thing to do" as a Christian but do not truly believe? In the spirit of transparency, I had to revisit my request (you can find the story here) and assess what my expectancy level is. Am I really waiting to receive the blessing of the funds needed to get Mercy House a formally established non-profit organization in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas? Not sure what my answer was last week…but now it is a  "Wooooo yes Lord, Amen!"

There is so much more to be said as it relates to financial stewardship and the like as I continue to trust God and grow in this specific area but this is it for now...

Grace, peace and love,

Gia

moving...again?!?!?

Well the past two weeks have been interesting to say the least. I've put in a request to my landlords, about a week ago, to prematurely terminate my lease. This request went with a thumping heart and a million prayers as I know that there were a couple ways that letter could have been received and of those ways, more than half were negative! :sigh:

Well, full of class and grace, my wish has been granted under one circumstance, the house gets sold/rented before I leave. So as of last week Monday, the house is now on the market and once a prospective person(s) signs the contract, then my contract is terminated- IMMEDIATELY.

Quite the interesting predicament huh? Well a little background so you can understand what drove me to such a drastic decision:

1. finances: we aren't begging or selling but we aren't doing as well as we were a couple months ago when we had two full incomes and one set of bills. There were some disappointments regarding scholarships and financial opportunities at the beginning of the semester that I had no control over so we just 'rolled with the punches' and now realize that these punches are hurting! :-) I would do anything now to decrease some strain on my husband who takes his job as 'provider' very very seriously!!!

2. distance: I've mentioned I'm getting awesome exercise walkng to and from school and honestly, I'm ok with it. EXCEPT at 5pm or later once the sun begins to set and the normal walk becomes a safety risk...single female walking street in dark on same route at least 3 times per week...hmmm I know I watch too many crime dramas on tv (I'm addicted) but the reality is, despite my feelings of safety in this area, there is always a potential risk and I should be constantly aware of it. Now that I had a nice reminder about this 2 weeks ago (I'll spare you the details-nothing serious but creepy), it's more of an issue than it was before. I didn't even mention the impending winter that's approaching and how this 1/2 hr walk will soon become brutal when I'm faced with the elements: snow, wind, ice, slush... NOT. FUN. ANYMORE

3. opportunity: I wasn't looking for a new place. let me put that out there... but like life, tons of opportunities blow your way once you are in a situation (eg have a job, have a home etc). Where were all these awesome vacant, reasonable, clean and close apartments when I was looking???? well apparently, right where they are now! I just had no clue of the area and where and how to look etc. But on a serious note, a friend/classmate somehow decided to ask on my behalf (without me even knowing) and found that the 2 bd apartment next to theirs (share an indoor duplex), was vacant with a price that beat what I currently pay and inclusive of utilities...which I currently pay! ahhhhhhh that had my head spinning for at least 3 days before I fully processed. I would be saving anywhere from $300 per month if I were to move. ahhhhhhhh and I wouldn't have to stress about a car because this place was 15 mins closer to school and closer to more convenient stores etc. and NO LEASE. which now I'm more appreciative of especially since I'll possibly be moving at an awkward time.

4. companionship: this is the last on the list and the least practical reason to break a legal binding contract but in my heart, is the first on the list. I would be literally a step away from two wonderful women who have slowly become friends and then a block away from other classmates/friends. WOW. this offers me some human contact outside of class days... that idea alone floats my heart. what can I say- I love my independence but I love being around people I care about more! This provides the best of both worlds!

So those 3 (ok...4) reasons drove me to write that letter and request to be released. I didn't quite expect this response but its fair and workable...but it's also very sporadic or unplanned. That is, I have no clue when someone is gonna make an offer/close/sign. Furthermore, I kinda wanted to be out here as of December when I leave for break, to start a new life in January. I'm going to be gone for about 3 weeks...what if I don't pack up before I leave and something happens and people want in the house beginning of month? I don't return until January 11th...and would be DISTRAUGHT if I have to leave Nassau on 'emergency' to come and move.

So the plan is to move before I lofe. Of course, moving means paying deposit on new apartment and confirming move in date before I even have move out date confirmed. ACK. can you say...drive me cazy?

I'm prayerfully waiting...quietly to just get some direction. The best scenario is for something to happen now or within the next 2 weeks so I'll know clearly to move and I just be 'homeless' i.e live on my new neighbors' couch for the last couple days I'm here but life is so funny...those 'best scenarios' rarely play out.

If you've got an extra prayer- lift one up on my behalf please. for wisdom. and also I'm praying for a quick turnover of this house. I don't mind (although I would love not to) paying December rent which is due in 2 weeks but I really really really want to start January fresh and paying only one rent!

Lord, I know you are there..you've heard me, you know my heart, and you my predicament. I quiet my heart to hear from you. I know you have my best at heart and is working everything out for my good. I love you. I also lift up everyone that passes through this page - let your Spirit become real to them, may their greatest need be met and know that it is YOU!~ your daughter, Gia

Happy Sunday!!!!!!!