Fear Factor pt 2

Tabby waking up from nap

In part one, I introduced you to Tabby...the cutest little love bug of a kitten you would find. And I'm (or was) afraid of her. :sigh:

I also began telling you about my personal challenge to tackle my fears as I am presented with them...this was why, I  didn't object when my roomie asked if getting a cat was okay. I was like "sure". Definitely. I even hooked her up with a friend who was fostering kittens and encouraged the adoption 100%. Needless to say she was shocked when she saw my reaction to the cat (see post here for that hilarity).

Now personally, I know myself. I knew my tolerance for cats...we can coexist in the same space once the cat stays as far as possible away from me. It's okay to pass by me, sniff quickly and go about your business but friendly interactions are a no-no. But of course, I chose to not say anything.

This was my chance to do two things:
1. To not rob my roommate of the opportunity to have her own pet to love on (and keep her company) as Ari does so well for me and
2. To face this dumb fear and overcome it.

I mean seriously. They are cats. Tons of people have them as pets...maybe not many Bahamians (or apparently Nigerians) but it is an unfounded, irrational fear. I've never been hurt by one and don't know anyone who has (except Schantal when she did something dumb, but then she still loves them). On top of that, why should I allow something this insignificant to impact my peace of mind (when we happen to be in the same space). Not to mention, this is a huge deterrent for visiting friends.

As I reflected on the what this step meant, I realized that too easily I (we) allow really insignificant, unfounded, and irrational beliefs about people, things, goals to hinder us from living fully. This experience made me really think about what other "things" am I so afraid of, that it is hindering me.  Fear of failure. Fear of being embarrased. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loneliness. Fear of discomfort. Fear of what people will say or think. Fear of failure (hmm did I say that already? yes it's that big).

The TRUTH of the matter is, unlike Tabby's quick agility, fear is NOT innate to us. We were not born with it. (2 Timothy 1:7) It is not God's will for our life in any form. We are called to be in authority, walking in peace and love.

Even if you aren't a Christian- Is life REALLY that much better, that more fulfilling, when we live in fear just going through the motions of a dull comatose routine tucked away in some form of a shell, when there is so much out there to conquer? This formerly "scary" girl will be the first to say: I'll settle for the comatose routine when I'm dead.  I've got dreams. I got plans. I've got the world to conquer and I'm running hard and fast after it [Shout out to P. Mery ;)]

You know how some really random things people say will stick with you for years? Well, it was bout 11 years ago, my then roommate Tiffany challenged me.

 "Gia, how do you know what happiness feels like if you've never felt sad?". 

It was one of those conversations which grew me up. I'll never forget it. And yes, sadness and fear are two different things, but the principle remains, how do you know what is fun, exciting, thrilling, heart-pumping if you are laying still and doing nothing? We only know darkness because we have experienced light. We only know hurt/rejection, because we have tasted, glimpsed..experienced love.

I asked you about your fears last week and now I want to challenge you to face 'em. Not all at a time. Baby steps. But definitely try it. Not only will you feel excitement and pride for the "accomplishment" but you will also be one step closer to living your life fully.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Fear Factor pt 1

I'm a scary person...the psychologist in me attributes some of this to a very careful personality, some to exposure to domestic violence as a child and then some to just general life experiences (mine and the stories of others).

I've determined...apparently, to start battling these fears. I'm not sure when it really happened. Maybe earlier this year when I told God that I was tired of being afraid and to take the fear from me, maybe/maybe not...I really don't know- all I know is that I'm finding that I'm intentionally putting myself (or allowing myself) in some pretty "scary" situations with the hope of confronting and overcoming it.

One of the most recent of these challenges is my fear of cats. Yes. the innocent little house animals that millions of people have for pets. In this instance, this is ALL environment. My mom hates them. Most people I grew up around hates them...more accurately afraid of them. My husband, my mother-in-law....you name the role and I'll get a "ewww" response.

My roommate---not so much. She loves them. She's barely into her 3rd decade of life and she's probably had at least 5 cats...yes, I see cat-lady in her future. ;)) But nonetheless, she got one over the summer and while I was away, I have been pumping myself up for this cohabitation. Well, hopefully a cohabitation and not a show-down. Yes me and the cat.

Tabby in the desk drawer

The cat in question is Tabitha. Tabby Banks. Tabbers. Tabs. Tabby wabby (as I sometimes now affectionately call her). She is cute. Like very cute (even for a cat). Although, nowhere near as cute as my Ari..but super cute nonetheless. She's also the sweetest, most loveable, like seriously needy animal out there. If she could be cuddled and coddled and curled up in your arms/lap/legs for 24 hours, she would. Well minus the one-two hours each day of random uncontrollable play hunting that she does (she's only about 5 months).

curled up for nap time

But the first week or so here was rough...even with this super duper cute, harmless, very small animal. I was deathly afraid. I knew I'd get over it and I am honestly still in process. But it wasn't easy. She always wanted to be around me. I commented to friends that her goal was to become BFFs when I only wanted amicable acquaintanceship   :D But she is a persistent little love bug. In the words of Steve Urkel "She's wearing me dowwwwnnn". And so I relented. A little bit. I touched her. I didn't squeal everytime she came near me. I didn't  run away when she would approach me. I allowed her to touch me..only the parts where clothes covered of course! And now, 3 weeks later, I can even pick her up and cuddle for a couple seconds.

Mind you, she still kinda freaks me out. She is just too quick, has no limits (can jump any heights) and too agile. :shudders: but she means no harm, it is all innate natural cat behaviour.

Some may say, this was unnecessary but it was pure unadulterated fear. I knew I was being silly but....:shrugs:

Are you afraid of something like I am of cats? Share with us in the comments section below. Don't be shy or embarrassed, we all have something that brings the "irrational" out in us.

I'll be back with the lesson from this on-going experience next week.

Grace peace and love,
Gia