Remaining focused Part II

If you remember from last week, my main work instrument as a full time grad student was giving me problems.

I'm reporting now from my brand new MacBook Pro. Yup...your girl got an early Christmas present (thanks Babes! and thank you Jesus!).

However, amidst the praise report (see here), there were other factors at play that I missed.  Without going into the gory details, lets just say, I thought that this computer was all about me. You know, its MY dissertation that needed to be proposed, conducted and defended. It's MY Ph.D that is on the line. It's MY primary means to get this stuff done. That is actually what I said in defense of my behavior as I was being pretty stubborn in a discussion with hubby and this was causing some discord between us.

In my time of being so focused on trusting God for one situation, I forget about other things...you know, that there is an enemy whose mission is to kill, steal and destroy.  So while I was having some "victory" in one aspect of this situation, my guard was down and I was oblivious to the other forms of attack.  If my roommate and I didn't have the talk that we did, I can now see how a very simple situation could have grown and created a rift. Side note: It is always amazing how that happens in relationships. It takes so long to build a strong one, but in seconds it could be punctured leaving the wounded open to hurt, mistrust, unforgiveness, resentment...yes the list goes on and on.

The conversation was definitely a reminder to stay focused....as I said last week, to focus on our Father who is provider, protector, sustainer...anything you need Him to be.  In addition, I needed to be aware (not necessarily focused), that there is a real enemy with a plan for our life too (1 Peter 5:8-9).

I'm not one to go on about "the enemy" and all that, not because I don't believe that we have an enemy but I would much prefer to talk about what God is doing and what He has promised me when the enemy sets himself to attack (Isaiah 59:19; John 10:10; Ephesians 6:10-18; Revelation 12:11).

So today, as a part of my "overcoming", I have shared my testimony (Revelation 12:11). ;)

Take home message: Be alert and particularly careful about your relationships- these are the core of the human experience. Too easily and too often, we allow our conversation or actions to cause small holes in the most important relationships. Unfortunately, it is much easier to make a hole bigger than it is to close it up.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

If this isn't love...

Yesterday morning, my husband and I had a conversation based on a post on Jeremy Statton's blog. I sent the post to him as an object lesson for him but it turned out to be a humbling moment for me. The discussion that ensued was "animated". Not quite an argument but definitely with enough passion and volume to be confused for one. During the discussion, my husband and I went back and forth about who was the actual "jerk" in the story. Was it Jeremy for expecting someone to move out of their comfortable space for another or was it the guy for not having compassion on a stranger and his very freaked out child.

The back and forth from this situation led us to the general idea of whether it is "Christian" to give up something for someone else (especially if this brings discomfort to the person who is giving up)? I couldn't provide a yes or no..in the sense that I would not judge a person as not being a Christian because they did not give up something for someone else. I went even further to talk about my own convictions: that I would be willing to sacrifice for someone else once I wasn't putting myself in jeopardy. You know, I'd switch seats cause that's not a big deal, what would sitting uncomfortably for a couple of hours do to me? I continued my monologue to indicate that maybe I would be less willing to give up something if my own well-being was threatned: psychologically or physically. I'm not a masochist, but I am compassionate (is what I was thinking). If I will admit, I was quite proud in my convictions.

His response (and I wish I could quote because it was so eloquently stated but in a nutshell):

if we (as Christians) were not suppose to live sacrificially through and through? Aren't we supposed to imitate God? and didn't He sacrifice? Wouldn't he give up something/anything even if it jeapordized his own health for us?

Me: blank stare

I honestly don't even know what I was thinking as I just sat there for the split second staring at him. I think I stuttered some lame response but eventually, I (less emphatically) agreed that yea, I guess we should be living sacrificially.

Shortly thereafter the conversation ended as I needed to get ready for work. However, the conversation with myself was not over. I felt so convicted.

What was I doing?

Was what I offered really loving my neighbor?

When had my "love" developed conditions? Was it always like this?

I repented of having conditions on my "love" and opened my heart again to LOVE. The real stuff as defined by Christ's ultimate act (John 3:16-17). As I continued to process the events of the morning, I knew I had to share this. Not because it's such a victory that I want to share but because it pointed out how easy it is for us (ME) to get prideful. It's interesting how I read that post, thoughtfully considered it and still walked away without truly getting the message for me. It took a situation where I had set out to prove a point, where the bigger point was proven to me.

Thoughts or comments? Leave them below!

Grace peace and love,
Gia