Life as a puzzle

Every now and again, purpose would slap me upside my face and I'd smile because I realize this is a part of me emptying myself so that whenever it is my time to die, I know I would have fulfilled what God placed me on this Earth for.

So you may be asking, what exactly does "purpose slapping me upside my face" look like? 

It looks like my original plan for my dissertation being too big and my first draft falling flat. 

It looks like me taking a step back to my original plan and remembering that I wanted to explore life as an "orphan". 

It looks like me getting an opportunity to do some volunteer work (learned about this in November) with girls who are orphaned and me being over-the-moon excited about it. So excited, I was like..."why didn't I think of that"?  

It looks like me asking myself and then God, why is it that this group of individuals pulls to me the way they do. 

Then it looks like, a friend suggesting that I work with her to potentially counsel orphans (got this request last week).  By the way, the friend knew nothing of the changes to the dissertation which came in November, neither was she aware that I will be volunteering with this group for another project next weekend.  She just thought of me as an ideal person for the task at hand.

It is not by chance, or even not by my own doing that all of these opportunities are presenting themselves. This is purpose slapping me upside the face. I'm still waiting on the full "understanding" from God about the extent of my involvement (now and in the future) with this group of individuals. I've been even wondering if this is the direction for Mercy House (not first time I've had that thought either).

I love when it happens like this...just like the pieces of the puzzle of life coming together. Some people say they don't know what their purpose is. I believe that if we take 2nd and sometimes 3rd looks around us, we can see how our talents/passions can make a change.  We can also see how we are drawn to certain things, people or groups. Somehow, like me, it just so happens that multiple opportunities present itself over and over and so you find yourself doing something that you enjoy, and never actually pursued it. That's purpose slapping you over the head.

I was so taken with this post on JeremyStatton.com this morning, that I decided to just redirect my readers there....(click title below for full post). For me, the last bullet points (white background) just made my heart scream "YES!"

Excerpt taken from the post To die is to live. Enjoy.

"The point is to be fully alive.

• To focus on doing the things that will matter forever.
• To understand the value of time and stop wasting it.
• To silence distractions.
• To focus on relationships.
• To realize that some risks are too important not to take.
• To stop worrying about failing and to start doing.
• To love because in the end, there is nothing else."

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Thirsty

I got news after a beautiful meditation last week that one of our country's politicians had suddenly died. Imagine having such a beautiful quiet time to be rocked with news of the uncertainty of life. It was weird. Well, more accurately, it was sad and sobering. Not because I knew him but because he was young and seemingly healthy and it was sudden.

I heard the news on the way to the shower and as I usually use my shower time, I just prayed. Except the prayer wasn't really a prayer. It was something of a yearning. I thought about how, this young man (early 40's) had served a term(5 years) as a member of parliament, how he had served as minister of youth, sports and culture and inevitably, how he had impacted lives. And that made me think about my own life. Have I made an impact? I love talking about purpose and living passionately but is that reflected in my actions? Is all this "doing" amounting to something? What would be the story, if I was to die today.

I don't need to make national news but I'd want my death to impact someone's life other than my husband, family and friends. From time to time, I reflect on Dr. Myles Munroe's seemingly favorite phrase: dying empty. I can be somewhat morbid in my thinking, particularly of late as death has become more real to me.  Not that I'm sick but maybe because of age, or proximity or consciousness...I don't know. My husband hates when I get on this line of thinking/conversation because it is really uncomfortable to think about. But since the first time I heard Dr Munroe talk about it, it has rattled me. It has awoken a hunger, a yearning for me to live my best life.

In my devotions (Girlfriends in God), one of the authors has been talking about the glory yearn. In Jeremy Statton's blog, he constantly shares about people who are living better stories. I'm drawn to posts and stories and messages such as these. These posts continue to challenge me, to make me aware that the "feeling" I experience so regularly isn't boredom, it is, in its most raw form, a dissatisfaction, a longing for something more. It's the "deep calling out to deep" (Psalm 42:7 KJV). I want to know more of God. I want to fulfill his calling.

I was trying to put into words what this meant and found a response that best resonates with my understanding/use of the phrase:
"It is a poetic way of refering to the deepest, most intimate, heart of someone crying out to know the deepest part of another." -user from yahoo answers

Are you feeling unsettled? Looking for "more"? It's the deep cry of your heart. Even if you haven't yet identified that "feeling", what are your thoughts about your legacy? What story would be told of you after you die? and who would tell this story? I receive the challenge and share it with you to pursue passion and purpose and fulfill that longing...it is God-given and will bring you back to Him. (Psalm 42)

Grace peace and love,
Gia