Puzzle of life

I subscribe to the idea that we are not here to float around. Each person has a purpose and life is best experienced, is fully lived, when we are functioning in that purpose.

Now I say "purpose" which seems singular but I think it goes without saying that one's life statement/mission statement may consist of a number of things. For me, I'm all about fostering hope and building communities. Sometimes this is done one person at a time, in other instances, its done via small groups/communities. I want to see each individual I am in contact with to first, know themselves (their identity and purpose), secondly, to live a whole life (with a focus on psychological and spiritual health) and finally, to be in pursuit of their life goals.

Additionally, I believe in connections. We are relational beings and as such, we thrive in healthy relationships and communities. More than relationships though, I believe that what I do (or am meant to do) is directly tied to someone else and so on. Frederick Beuchner best said it:

"The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt."

 I've said all this because I had a situation this past week which made me realize how real this interconnectedness is.

I've been avoiding counselling for awhile now. For those of you that know my story, I spent 2 years completing a Master degree which equipped me with the skills needed for therapy but somewhere in the past 10 years since I obtained the degree, I kinda just wrote it off. It was helpful; I've got some skills that are helpful in life in general, and I've definitely become a more self-aware person which is great so I was happy. Just recently, this month in particular, I've had a number of requests for therapy. I've also had people refer others to me for therapy. Each time this occurred, I gave the blank stare.

Maybe not directly as that was rude..but in my head it was a "ummm not quite; I'm not interested" response.

As I was mumbling to myself about how its weird that recently I've been getting so many requests (most of which are people willing to pay), I was humbly reminded (by an acquaintance) in a nutshell....that counselling is a part of my calling. That conversation, and ensuing personal conversation (you know the ones you have with yourself) really made me stop and think - I do have a gift and while the past may not have created the ideal scenario/environment to use my talents, that didn't mean that I needed to totally walk away from it.

Here is where the story gets interesting. After a quick conversation with one of the individuals who was seeking counselling, I walked away unnerved as I realize that I may have almost hindered her from health/wholeness/purposeful living because of my own issues. Because I had ignored her/turned her down, she just figured that this meant it wasn't meant to be and was quite content to walk away, not looking back and settling for where she was emotionally/psychologically.

I never want to be THAT person; you know, the one who is so caught up in herself that she forgets that her talents and gifts are important, essential to others.

“Pull a thread here and you’ll find it’s attached to the rest of the world.”

― Nadeem Aslam, The Wasted Vigil

I leave you to think about your place in this web, this puzzle of life. We are all interconnected and if I don't do my part, there is a tangible missing piece from the puzzle of life. Don't downplay or ignore your talents, gifts and passions for you never know who needs it.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

..possibly one step closer?

It is not uncommon for us to get weary, disappointed or even lose hope when we take on large tasks or dreams.

For me, the "task" of this doctoral degree has seemed to be going on forever and still too far away to see the light at the end. However, there have been clear markers that I have set for myself which have allowed me celebratory points. Unfortunately, my last celebratory marker was 6 months ago and it seems the next one may be another 6 months away. Alas, I push through day by day.

Today's post isn't about the grad school journey though..its about Homes of Hope/Mercy House. Most of you who have followed this blog know about this or at least heard of it. If you are clueless, check out this post, this post and even this one!

I think I shared the prezi presentation with a "vision" of what Homes of Hope is to look like. I wasn't sure how or where to get started given the need for both a large chunk of land and multiple buildings but I've been keeping my eyes and ears open. A couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to share the draft proposal with an interested potential partner. She was a breath of fresh air as her strengths were in finance, with some political ties. She helped me (us) to revisit the plan, make some changes and set some intermediary goals.

She also identified a potential place that could serve as "starter" for the homes. As with life, this "conversation" sparked others and I found myself with two others, viewing a dilapidated and disparaged piece of real estate.

The thing is though...if you look closely, through the rubble, the bee hives, the mold, the missing roof, windows, doors, plaster and lack-luster landscape, you can see- well, let me speak for myself, I can see a perfect plot of land for Homes of Hope.

Yes, that's how I feel.

The irony of the situation is that this particular piece of real estate has been associated with poverty, drugs, murders, prostitution...yes, almost every social ill that is the antithesis of what Homes of Hope represent. And I just love it.

How cool would it be to add to the story of this place of hope...or refuge, that not only the people who come there have been given a second chance of sorts but also the piece of real estate itself has been "redeemed". I get excited just thinking bout it. giddy almost.

Now, the "hard" part. Actually acquiring the property -I'm thinking at bare minimum, we probably need at least $100-150k to buy property from bank and then other financial and human resources to bring the buildings and property to a condition that is not just livable but top of the line (I don't believe in mediocrity).

Nothing for me to worry about. This vision has always been bigger than me, so I've never taken on the stress of expecting that the vision would be fulfilled only by me. 

I'll keep you updated on next steps.  But until then...I challenge you to continue to dream, to pursue passion and to fulfill your God-given purpose as I do the same.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn- part 2

Once I'm living and breathing, I want to learn. 

To this end, I've made a personal commitment to myself to find lessons in every (or as many) of my life experiences as possible. As a 30-something new mom, I found myself overwhelmed...with love and stress at the same time as each moment since July 31st, 2013 presented a new and sometimes unpredictable experience. :) As I reflected, I realized that the lessons I learned in the past two months really could be applicable to many instances where we are faced with challenges or an overwhelming, new experience.  If this is your first time stumbling upon this blog, or haven't visited in awhile, you can find Part 1 here.

So here we goooo....

girls day out

Third, set reasonable goals/expectations for yourself. In my example, I found that Daelyn Grace would not be put down for a significant period of time, so I had to give up  trying to do anything major. I quickly learned the beauty of those baby carriers/slings for being mobile and keeping my hands free but it was still only so much I could do. Instead of bucking my head constantly to the wall because I wasn't getting to keep the house spik-and-span, nor could I finish a report for a project I started in my internship, I learned to take what I could get; do what I could and keep it moving. More important (and more reasonable) goals were eating, keeping hydrated, resting and keeping myself clean. Those were big enough challenges to add the "other stuff". And to be honest, at the end of the day life kept moving on.  

Fourth, don't compare your situation to others.  Its unnecessary frustration. While there are similarities which bond us together as humans (see point #2), each of us is unique.  We have different personalities/temperament, different past experiences, different resources...and the list goes on. Each of these differences creates a somewhat personalized experience for each of us. Learn from others' experiences and the experts, but recognize that while these may be helpful, it may not be a perfect fit. Find what works for you and make no apologies about pursuing that solution.

Fifth, find time for yourself away from situation. This may be more specific to my experience, but even if your challenge/experience is not a tangible thing...sometimes we get so caught up that we ruminate.  "Rumination is defined as the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences" -thanks Wikipedia! Essentially in this 5th lesson, I'm challenging you to step away, to stop thinking/stressing over the problem. Distract yourself -not to the extent that you never face it- but to the point that it does not consume you. At this point, you can no longer think straight and honestly, we end up in unhealthy thought and behavioral patterns.  For me, I had to learn that great moms know and accept that they need help and they need breaks/time alone and when I do get those breaks to not sit and worry over what baby is doing. ;))

That's it! Well, wait...since this is Canadian thanksgiving- I guess there is one more lesson...find something to be thankful for. I know this is similar to point #1, where I urge you to give yourself a hug but the difference is, here you are now taking inventory of the good that exists...maybe its the helpful friend/family member, maybe its the fact that you are getting paid and are financially stable despite the circumstances. Maybe its the roof over your head, the food in your belly or for me, my husband, my new baby, my loveable dog and the plethora of those I call family (blood or otherwise).

Grace, peace, love and a grateful heart,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn-part 1

Okay. It is officially 2 days shy of 10 weeks since life was changed!!!!!! Miss Daelyn Grace is growing like a weed...literally. Like seriously her weight and length is about the size of an average 4 month old. (insert blank stare here). I'm gonna not only be skinny (breastfeeding DOES cause you to lose weight without doing NOTHING) but my arms are also gonna be buff as she constantly requires rocking, cuddling, holding and bouncing. :D

Anyway, despite the fact that my life currently revolves around her, my plan is to continue to blog about passion, purpose, life and other randomness and not turn this into a baby blog. Sadly, life and randomness are all baby-centered for me as I have not yet returned to work and my involvement in other non-baby activities (eg dissertation, church, etc) have been few and far between. BUT as I sat and thought about what I could share I realized that some lessons I've learned from these past 2 months could be applied to almost any challenging situation.

So...here we go!

First, give yourself some credit. Yes, things may not be as you like it and you may seem like you are flailing about or even failing but I can assure you, it is not 100% bad. Recognize that there are some bright spots and celebrate them. After all, life in general is filled with challenges. Furthermore living life according to kingdom principles becomes even "harder", simply because it goes against our automatic nature and against what everyone else is doing.  In short---Celebrate you. Celebrate your triumphs. Celebrate life.

Second, talk to your someone in your circle- its cathartic. Keeping things in is counter to our mental and physical health. You will quickly find that you may not be the only person in this situation.  Its amazing how similar our experiences are as humans but yet when we go through tough times/challenges, we tend to isolate rather than congregate.  Of course you can't share with everyone, not even everyone in your support network, but definitely find someone to talk to.
Also, if the situation involves someone else, find the right time and place and discuss it with them. One word of caution: it is important how you approach the conversation. Therapy teaches about "I...you" statements. For example, "I feel drained when you.....". This allows us to express our feelings without coming off like we are attacking the other person. The cool thing about this conversation is that sometimes this conversation reveals that the person just did not know...Sadly, many major conflicts start because people aren't on the same page. Anyway...in short, we are made to commune. To live together. To be a support to each other. When we are at our low, that is when this becomes vitally important.

Until next week...

Grace peace and love,
Gia