Quality Decisions for 2014

Last day of 2013.....woah nelly!

Inspired by my good friend's newletter (find it here), I decided as I prepare for 2014, to identify quality decisions (as Path Coach Kaylus calls them) to help guide me toward purposeful living.

The beauty of 2014 is that it will also culminate my time working on the PhD, so it will launch Giavana Jones, PhD. woooot wooot. Has a ring to it huh? In 2014, I also return to my role as School Psychologist with the Ministry of Education, Bahamas as my study leave officially ends. womp womp. So undoubtedly, there is a lot for me to think about, process, prepare for, etc. There is also a lot to be anxious about but as I've shared, I'm choosing to NOT worry (see here, here and here for posts on this).

To understand quality decisions, you must read the newsletter, but in a nutshell, Kaylus said that:

"Knowing what you don't want can lead to having what you want"

The idea here is its usually easier to identify what we don't want to do...and from this, we make decisions which lead to our ideal. 

I'll share one of my quality decisions as I challenge you to identify yours!

A couple weeks ago, as I thought about next year and all that unfolds, I realized that I can't see myself going back to a 9-5/5 days a week, i.e. the traditional 40 hr per week position. I am thriving off of the ability to come in late, leave early, not come in at all and everything else that my part time contract position has afforded me this past year. Now, this isn't lazyness. I will get my work done, whether its in the middle of the night or otherwise. I just love that if Daelyn Grace is having a rough morning or night, I won't feel pressured or obligated to be somewhere if there is no specific meeting or scheduled appointment. I also realize that I do not want to work 5 days a week. I'd like a day (at least) to be home with baby girl. Sunday doesn't count because its church and Saturday will most likely default to errands, cleaning...you know- home stuff.

The more I thought this through, the more I found more and more "things I did not want". And they all pointed to the format of a traditional job. The irony of this is, before leaving the 9-5 job to pursue my PhD, I would not have seen myself anyplace else. I was quite content with that type of work schedule UNTIL I took the plunge, left my job and pursued a graduate degree full time. NOW, after the variety of work experiences I've had over the past 4.5 years, I honestly can't see myself going back.

So, long story short--quality decision for planning "whats next" post-PhD is:

finding and creating a work arrangement that is flexible and does not require a traditional 40-hour work week.

What are those things that you just cannot do? The very idea annoys or angers you. It probably means you are mismatched with that particular situation. If so, think it through and identify quality decisions. This works for professional and personal life goals!

Grace, peace, love, and purpose,

Gia

Quote of the week: 12.26.13

As we approach the new year....

tis the season to be jolly

fa la la la la-la la la laaaaaaaaaa!!!

Yes, it is the Christmas season. I think if you ask 10 people, you are likely to get at least 6 different responses as to what this season means to them.

For me, while I thoroughly enjoy the merriment, gift-giving, family time and food (lots of food)- I also really like to ensure that I continually celebrate Jesus. I know He wasn't born in December, but alas this is the time that we have set aside to say "happy birthday"! So Christmas represents life, hope, salvation, joy....Jesus. Its also synonymous with family, food, and Junkanoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

While, those values and traditions remain relevant for me, this Christmas is different. It was the first time, that as an adult, living on my own, that I've put up my own Christmas tree. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can you say excited? side note: it seriously made my day [week, nah season] when Dayton walked in with the tree and surprised me! Of course, Daelyn Grace is still totally oblivious so there isn't so much excitement from her, but just her presence has made it a very special one. She is by far my best. gift. ever!

I didn't buy any gifts for her and probably won't until she's at least 2 years old, when there is a recognition of a "gift"--not that she is by any means short on gifts. The tree already has gifts for her and an extra large stocking filled with baby goodies. However,  I do want is to begin Jones' family traditions. Traditions that keep us (and teach her) to be grounded in our faith; to celebrate life, freedom, hope, joy and salvation. Traditions that go beyond the superficiality of the newest toy. I haven't figured out what that's gonna be yet.

I do plan on asking all her godparents to make a tree decoration that we can use annually when we put up the tree. But as for us...Dayton, Daelyn and I- I'm drawing a blank. Maybe it will come to me on Christmas day? :)

What are your family traditions, whether past or current? If not yours, do you have any suggestions for me?

Merry Christmas from the Jones family. May these days be filled with joy, hope, peace and fulfillment regardless of how (or if) you choose to celebrate. 

As I was drafting this, I realized that it would have been ideal to have a family picture for this week's post but apparently, I'm still new to this family thing and failed on the holiday family picture card thing. sigh. I promise to do better next year). But until then....enjoy the sights and sounds of Junkanoo!

Grace peace love and joy,
Gia

Quote of the week: 12.19.13

...what do you do?

I'm tired ya'll.

Sadly, I didn't realize it (or admit it) until someone at church asked me how I'm doing. If I'm happy. I go on to talk about Daelyn Grace, being a mom, adjusting...she nods and then asks again. I'm like yea, thinking to myself that I just explained all this. Then she clarifies,

"Gia, I mean aside from your role as mother. Aside from Daelyn. How are you? Are YOU happy?"

And then I stopped. 

I had two choices. To answer a quick yes with my trademark smile. Or to really think about it and give her an honest answer. Because our church is built upon authenticity, building real relationships, and "doing life together"- I chose the latter. And what I admitted, surprised even me.

"I'm not sure if I'm happy. I mean, I'm okay. but....I'm....tired"

:gasps to myself: As I process this, I realize that this isn't only physical fatigue. Nor only emotional. Its everything. I'm getting to *that* point, that time where I need a break or will break. :( I promised myself last time that I would be better about taking things in strides. Resting regularly (physical, emotional, mental). But now as I think about it..the things that I do to rejuve have been hampered a bit by life.

reading (novel) in the middle of the night while/after I've nursed baby (not a good new habit at all).
quiet time (prayer, bible reading, dancing, listening to music, meditating) sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the morning but most often nothing...or at least not as much.
watching a good [holiday] movie (sigh) well, the tv belongs to hubby and as long as there is something sport-related on and believe me, there is ALWAYS something on, I either watch that or watch online.
getting a pedicure, salon visit insert giggle here. yea...last pedicure was probably Jan 2013. :/ car challenges
being involved in church (corporate prayer, worship, fellowship) car challenges
spending time with family and friends my saving grace. Because I've been car-less, I've had to rely heavily on others and simultaneously, I've also gotten quite a bit of time with family. However, I've had no time with hubby without baby. gee, to think of it, no time with anyone without baby. 
talk therapy (or writing/journaling) my blog has become my journal. I have people to talk to but I personally hate always talking about my "problems". Writing helps in cases like this or when the person you talk to does not understand [men are really from another planet than us women ;)]
me time...car challenges 
exercise ... :) no excuse since I've got a stationary bike but I've been dying to get outside and walk.


So, that's my list of activities that I find  rejuvenating, restful and helpful to add balance to the crazy of life.

Where are you? tired or at rest? What activities do you have to unwind, rejuvenate, or rest?

As you can see, my life isn't quite where I would want it to be. But I understand this is for a season and because of that, I'll continue to thug it out. It's important to recognize though (especially during the hustle and bustle of this joyous season which also culminates the year), that fatigue, whether emotional, mental and/or physical, has implications for you. For me,  when I get tired, I get easily irritated. Less patient. I experience physical pain/discomfort. I get more emotional/needy, as my love tank drains faster. Overall, not the most pleasant person to be around.

So I need to rejuve. I'll have to settle for watching holiday movies online. Reading when I can...and possibly finding some new ways to rejuve and rest given my new conditions (another person to care for, no car). Afterall, life is about adaptation. I mean really, we either adapt or we die, eh?

Join me in first, taking stock of your physical, emotional and mental well-being. Then, ensuring that you are regularly engaging in activities to balance and maintain overall health.

Grace, peace, love, and rest,
Gia

Quote of the week: 12.12.13

living full...

living life to the fullest...so that I can die empty.

If you've followed my blog, you would have seen me reference this before. Dr. Myles Munroe has made a similar statement many times and it is him to whom I credit this goal of mine.

But I'm not talking about me today so much. But another revolutionary. A model of being the change. Mr Nelson 'Mandiba' Mandela.

I'll admit. I've never been big on world stuff. politics. events. anything. I barely find the interest for local politics and events. But, being the passion driven woman that I am. I am attracted to purposeful, passionate people. I may not study their lives, but I do take note and on Thursday, I with many others around the world, mourned the loss of Mr Mandela.

I said "oh nooooo" but immediately after that, I smiled and thought to myself:

there's a man that died empty.

And I rejoiced...not for his death, but for the amazing, radical life he lived.

He WAS the change he wanted to see in the world.

He lived with resolute purpose and unyielding passion.

He is a model for any and all of us who want to do the same.


And so I say Rest in Peace Mr Mandela. I'm honoured to be a part of the generation that saw first hand all you did for humanity.

I commit to live so that what he [and many others] fought for, was not in vain.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Quote of the week: 12.5.13

When considering the topic for this month, hope seemed to be THE best fit. Not because it is currently my favorite topic, or the topic of my dissertation but because as exciting and happy December can be for some, it also can be the worse, most difficult time of year for so many others.

This Thursday and each that follows in the month of December, my quotes will all remind you (in some way or another) that, the sun will come out tomorrow so there is absolutely no need to despair, regardless of how bleak the current situation is, or how sad this time of year makes you feel.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

walking the talk...

For as long as I can remember, I've talked about gratitude and peace. As with everything, its always easy to talk; however the weight of it is experienced during "tests". At this time we see whether or not that which we've been talking about is truly what we are walking out.

True story. :)

Last week I found myself sitting in a borrowed car that wouldn't start, trying my hardest to remain composed. I was done. Just over it. Ready to scream. This was not the first time since I borrowed the car  that it chose to not start. However, this was only Day 3 that I had the car and this is a car, that for as long as my sister has had it, has NEVER given her problems. It was a really rough moment.
Here is a snippet of my inner dialogue.

[literally] talking to myself: "Come on Gia, take a deep breath. Its okay."
slowly look around and think to self after a couple slow deep breaths

"I guess it could be worse..."

Then IT happened. The shift.

In that one statement and action (slowing down, regulating my emotions) my thoughts went to this: "wow. I'm stuck but its in a well lit busy gas station, on a main road, less than 15 minutes from home. My husband isn't available, but my dad is and he is on his way. The weather is cool, so Daelyn Grace is comfortable as she is sleeping in her car seat in the back seat. I've got battery life on my phone to make calls if necessary." 

I then realized that I was literally okay. 

From this way of thinking, I had plenty to be thankful for...safety, support/help, alternative means of getting home, sanity (baby sleeping and comfortable)...etc etc etc

Did my new shift in thinking change the conditions? No.  the car still didn't start.
Was I still bummed that the car I borrowed, was giving me problems? - yes

But in my disappointment, I refused to get all upset and burdened by something I had no control over. I chose to adjust my thinking and literally stay positive.

I then moved on. Made necessary arrangements for car to be dealt with (all that was within my control), then let it go.

I wish that was all to this story but later that week, a similar occurrence happened as I found myself driving buttercup (my "new" SUV) after  it just came from mechanic (getting an expensive engine head) and realized that it still wasn't drivable because now the brakes weren't holding.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh seriously... AGAIN????????

I'll admit. It wasn't as easy to adjust and shift now. In fact, a day later I'm still fighting to choose gratitude and peace over frustration and worry. I got a timely reminder from my mom though. In a simple one sentence text, she acknowledged the trend of unfortunate events, but reminded me to still give thanks. 

As I reluctantly forced myself to find something (anything) to be thankful for in this never-ending expensive saga, I actually found a couple things. I was thankful that the battery died BEFORE it tore the belt possibly resulting in a very bad outcome if it occurred while driving. I was also thankful that although the brakes weren't holding, the time and day I was driving meant that there was virtually no other cars on the road, and still in full day light so there was no need for sudden braking. pretty big deals huh? yea I know.

So I've been super conscious to not complain. To not go through the self-pity route. To not sit and worry about what could be or should be. 

Hopefully your days, week, season has been a little easier than mine, if not- join me as I've decided to simply:

1. ask for grace [serenity] to accept that which I cannot change (i.e. move on, let go).

2. ask for the insight, resources, and energy to make changes/correct/fix that which I can

3. and finally, I've asked for wisdom to know the difference.

Grace peace and love,

Gia