check-in

Hollla

It's May 19th and instead of preparing to go to Canada for a check-in (and possible progress meeting)- I've just barely finished the first draft of 1 of the 3 final chapters for the dissertation.

Disappointed much? yup, indeedy!

However, the extent of busy that my life is, leaves me no time to have a pity party. I've chosen to celebrate the completed draft of Chapter IV.

And here I am-  pecking away at Chapter V...with hopes of completing that in the next 2 weeks. Yes, another aggressive deadline but this time, I actually have time off (and away) so it should be a teensy bit quieter for me to get the focused time and energy to really pull it off.

As it stands, I can still make a defence by mid/end of August and that is the most reasonable case scenario. By far, not the best as it means I will have to pay for the full Summer 2014 semester, but better than not completing and having to enroll in Fall 2014 semester!

However, either of those options, still have me aligned for graduation on October 18th and I guess it is that which keeps me motivated.

So that's me.

Little Miss Daelyn Grace is quite the character. She's seriously developing too quickly and each day I look and squeeze her to try and infuse the Daelyn-of-that-moment to my memory. Life tells me that she will be 1 and then probably 11 before I know. That thought of that is quite overwhelming in and of itself but alas, time waits on no one and I am very appreciative a child who is growing, developing, and maturing in a timely fashion.

Hopefully the next time I come, I can say that I have submitted the entire document and looking to schedule (or have scheduled) that very important meeting.

Grace, peace, and love,
Gia

its that time...again

I'm going to have to take a sabbatical from my weekly musings.

There is simply too much going on. I need to begin widdling down on all my "extras", so without a doubt, I can make this self-imposed, yet necessary deadline of the end of April to have this dissertation written up. At this point, I'm barely beginning with analyses so this is quite a tall order but in light of the financial demands of enrolling in another full semester---I need to put (in Bahamianese) ERRYTING toward this. sigh. I'm already tired but I'm going to rest in the grace for this season.

Before I know it- it will be August 2014, and I'll be done (dissertation defended and last hours of internship completed). Before I know it again, it will be October 18th and I'll be grinning from ear to ear as I walk across the stage with the big fluffy gown and funny-looking hat on my neatly twisted locs and receive the certificate that says Giavana Jones, PhD.

It is for that vision that I push.

So, until I've gotten to a better place with all my demands...I bid you adieu. see ya later.

BUT I can't leave without giving you something to chew on this week...I read this this morning and it was JUST what I needed. Hopefully it does the same encouraging for you.

God makes everything come out right; he puts victims back on their feet. He showed Moses how he went about his work, opened up his plans to all Israel. God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him. He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we’re made of mud. Men and women don’t live very long; like wildflowers they spring up and blossom, But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly, leaving nothing to show they were here. God ’s love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him, Making everything right for them and their children as they follow his Covenant ways and remember to do whatever he said. (Psalm 103:6-18 MSG)

Grace, peace, and love (until our next),
Gia

overstay your welcome

I was having a conversation yesterday and it was one of those moments that I share wisdom without even realizing it.

In a nutshell, the person is experiencing some friction at work. I've been privy to the ins and outs and as I explained to him, he's experiencing the adult-child living at home syndrome. Essentially, he's outgrown the structure and "culture" of the home life. This can be defined in a number of ways but at the end of the day- it is time to move on.  If he doesn't move on, then he's going to need to concede to their demands (regardless of how nonsensical it may seem) because at the end of the day, like my dad always told us...its their house!

Change is never easy. But I'm a firm believer that there are seasons in life and we've got to be aware of when those change so that we can adjust accordingly. In the case of the above referenced person: his season with that company is done. He knows it, his boss knows it, I think the coworkers know it...but still nothing is being done to prepare for the next step.

If you are here and feeling similarly, like you have worn out your welcome...you are constantly frustrated and just "done" with your current circumstances. My challenge to you is to not end up out on your butt with your suitcase next to you [and no back up plan] as a result of being kicked out. Your time now should be spent creating or finding, the next step. For him, he's ready to go on his own. That means defining the service to be offered, ensuring that he's got a niche in the market (no sense going to do what someone else is already doing if there are untapped avenues) and writing out the business plan. For others it may mean, defining what your next position looks like. Do you want to change careers or just employers? Since you are changing anyway, are there specifics that you want included? e.g. health benefits? a specific location? flexi-time? The next steps include updating the resume/CV and canvassing organizations that fit what you want.

Life is seriously too short to live and be unhappy. To live your best life, you must be ever present. Living on yesterday's glory or in a season that is done will surely bring frustration and unfulfillment. I remember feeling like this about 5 years ago. My "next step" was to pursue the PhD. I've just returned to that organization where I left [well technically took a break from]..but I know this return is for an even shorter time than before. The goal is to finish this PhD, then leave. In the meantime, I am setting myself up for the next step.

Do not allow fear to keep you someplace where you know you have outgrown. If necessary, seek assistance with preparing for the next steps (the entire field of coaching is dedicated to this kind of work) and lets get moving!!!

Remember if you are like me and have multiple ideas, plans and goals. Streamline, define, and plan how each will be rolled out. Timing is key. As a friend just recently told me:

"Gia you can't birth two babies at the same time unless they are twins"

strategic. smart. steady

Are you ready? lets goooooooooooooo!

Grace peace love and forward movement,
Gia

ln the pursuit of greatness

                            You can't bring about change if you are "acting small".

It's hard sometimes to do what needs to be done...even harder sometimes to do what we WANT to do...you know to go after that *thing* that you dream about. Unfortunately, we usually get in our own way (our self-image, self-talk, how much we value ourself)

I had a beautiful experience the past couple weeks where I took the limits off and just pursued my ideal. The result...I got it. Even now its hard to believe. But I have to keep reminding myself...its not just me, because my default response is how did I (lil ole me) get that??

But its not JUST me. It's me exponentially, because the God in me is so big, so great, and so awesome...what I can do with Him is multiplied.

Remember you are created for purpose. God wants His best for you. You can choose to seek out His best, or settle for good-enough. His best positions you for maximum effectiveness in that which He has called you to do.

And so I walk forth embracing that I am all that God says that I am. I will continue to press forth and aim high, as I dream big pursuing my goal to bring hope to all I come in contact with.

As Marianne Williamson so aptly put it: "Who are you NOT to be....[brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous] "

Grace, peace, and love in the pursuit of greatness,

Gia

One Accord

This past week was very exciting for me, and Valentines had nothing to do with it. ;)

On Thursday, February 13th, I launched the first of many more groups for One Accord.

From the website (which isn't quite ready to be published yet)...

One Accord is a community and inter-church pre-marital program. The goal of the program is to equip seriously dating and/or engaged couples with the skillset needed to foster healthy marriages. It is built upon the idea that marriages are the foundation of communities. If the marriages aren't strong, balanced and secure, then this impacts the family base, and the wider community. It is our hope that through One Accord we can assist with the strengthening of our nation...one couple at a time.

The program is set to run for 10 weeks, engaging up to 7 couples on everything related to creating solid marriages. Core topics include: understanding female/male differences, marital expectations, communication, conflict resolution, finances, and parenting. Couples will be engaged in couple and group activities within session, and will be expected to complete assignments together at home (date night).

In addition to the main facilitators, One Accord also invites other professionals and lay couples to share their expertise on matters related to creating a vision for your marriage, marriage and the law, marriage and finances, boundaries, and finally on building lasting relationships.

As I mentioned, we just got started with our first cycle of couples with the plan to expand to multiple cycles per year. We will look at demand to determine the frequency in these early years, but for sure we will offer one more cycle this year and then at least another two cycles in 2015.

One Accord will eventually offer a mentoring component. I hope to gain support of couples within local churches and community to serve in this position.  Additionally, as the program grows, I see our past couples serving as mentors for new participants.  Beyond that, also having regular retreats for the networking of the now married couples will provide a forum for the continued growth and upkeep of the newly formed families. It is my dream to create a network of couples who will have access to the facilitators and each other even beyond their group setting via blog, email, newsletters, and marital activities/retreats. 

What the blurb doesn't share is how long I've been dreaming of this program. It's been almost 8 years that I participated (as a co-facilitator) in a similar program in South Florida and decided that I would launch something similar at my church. Since then the vision has expanded and rather than tie it to any particular church, I've opened it up and advertising it as a community and inter-church group. I've been collecting information over the years and just archiving everything. 

Can you imagine how exciting last Thursday must have been for me? :D It was almost like having another baby!

If you pray, I'm asking for prayers for wisdom, favor, and success. If you don't---I'll take positive thoughts about the same.

Grace, peace and love as I build community!
Gia

quote of the week: 2/13/14

I missed last week (my apologies) but I couldn't miss this Thursday. In this month of February, our topic is....you guessed it "love".

However, I detest cheesiness, i.e. that watered down thing marketing and the media has called love. So my quotes may not make you feel all warm and cuddly inside (that's what Hallmark is for) but it will challenge and remind you of what true love is!

Happy Valentine's Day cyber-friends!

Parenting

Its been 6 months ya'll!!!!!! Daelyn Grace was officially 6 months on January 31st. I'm happy to report that most of the tired, overwhelmedness and anxiousness is gone. No more zombie-mommy. Left in its place is fun. Tons of laughter, silly faces, poop (and more poop), feeding, sleeping and yes...a bit of tired. :)

As some of you know, motherhood was a scary idea for me. I mean, I've spent almost 10 years studying the field of psychology, 2 of those years, specifically looking at counselling and boy oh boy...I've seen how easy it is to screw up a person. That alone made me think twice, no three times about being a parent.

But yea, putting all that aside, I mean, I think every parent wants the best for their little person. Me being who I am (over-achiever, well-read, a bit organic) set some high goals for this little one. I really wanted to try and be as natural as possible with her. That started with pregnancy (healthy lifestyle- was achieved). 2. Then labor, but that didn't work. oh well. epidural AND surgery was required for my sweet princess to get here safely.

3. Exclusive breast-feeding. done it...6 months and going strong.

4. :clears throat: cloth diapering. yup...6 months and now its getting real now that we've begun to introduce solids. :/

5. No (or very limited pre-made baby food). I mean seriously. its pureed veggies and fruits. How hard could that be? hahaha well I'm a couple weeks in and it really isn't that bad. I'm fascinated though. When I make it fresh, it can only stay refriegerated for 3 days (frozen for 6 months). SO I'm left to wonder what Gerber be puttin in their all-natural baby food why it can stay on the shelf (not even the fridge) for + 6 months. (insert deep sigh here).

from top moving clockwise: freezer with expressed breastmilk and her veggies for next two weeks.
storage container with her  fresh pureed peas. pumpkin after it was baked. magic bullet with greens
happy baby with a really dirty mouth (ironically, she was eating canned prunes which I did NOT make)

I have some other really ambitious goals, but all-in-all, it boils down to wanting the best for the lil princess. I figure we aim realllly high and if we don't make it- we still do "great". Rather than not setting goals at all and then its just "come what may".

The cool thing is- hubs and I realize that in order to maintain this lifestyle for her, we are going to have to make some lifestyle changes.

For example, we don't want her eating fast food (I mean really- makes no sense for me to slave over the stove as a baby and then just quit when she's a toddler/child)...I'm determined to not allow anything beyond the taste of a french fry before 3 years old. After that...well it will be for special occasions. The reality of this hit us as I sat near dying from hunger (being dramatic) in Wendy's drive-through line. oops guess that can't be happening too often. I mean, what we gonna say.."no babygirl, you can't have what mommy and daddy are eating!"

And for this, I am grateful for the responsibility of parenting. It is yet another thing to make me a better person. To help me do better. To make me more aware, conscious, and responsible for some of the basic things that I do.

So, to infinity and beyond..that's exactly how high I'm shooting! ;)

Grace, peace, love and pureed green beans!
Gia

weekend jet setter part 2: count your blessings

this was me + at least another 3 bags,
stroller and car seat!
Thank God for momma!

As I mentioned in part 1, we travelled last weekend. It was a great trip. And thank God for mommy! She was literally a life saver. I wouldn't ever want to travel with an infant alone. Although Daelyn Grace was great (no fussiness) or anything like that, it was quite a bit to keep balanced.

Last week, I talked about the "lesson" I learned from one event of the trip but as I wrote, it caused me to reflect on the trip itself. I couldn't help but to see how many blessings there were wrapped up in that little getaway!

The trip was a blessing in multiple ways.
1.We snagged lovely priced tickets for a direct flight from Nassau to West Palm Beach. Although it was on a particular airline, we had absolutely NO problems (no delays, no cancellations...nothing)! In fact, they gave us multiple graces upon our return as it relates to baggage and such.

2. We got free and comfy housing. Daelyn had an almost-new bassinet to sleep in ($20) and a playpen to hang out and play in (free)...and more toys than she could keep track of. It was just like being at home.

3. We got an SUV rental for the cost of a compact car. I never imagined how much space baby items take up. Add to that a couple bags from shopping and you've got a mid-size SUV looking like we were moving away permanently. :/ I didn't think we'd need more than a regular sedan but once again...thanks to mommy's suggestion, we were comfortable for the 4 days we were there.

mommy, me & Daelyn Grace on the plane.
she apparently was not pleased
with the camera in her face.

4. I found some really good deals on the couple items that were purchased for me and the lil princess (funny how I'm mrs-shop-til-I-drop, but with a baby, I was like...five minutes in the store and I was done!) The stroller nor cart seemed to keep lil-miss-on-the-move content for too long so after about 20 minutes, there needed to be a change in venue...unless she fell asleep. The best part was innocently walking through aisles, pushing the stroller (or cart) and seeing clothing (and other items) "moving" and not realizing that it was my daughter's doings. 

and the best of all----

5. As you recall from last week, I got the DSM-5 for free. The person who gave me theirs paid almost $200.

Non-financial "blessings":

April & Daelyn Grace at her
 office in North Palm Beach.

6. Got to spend some good time with mommy, Daelyn Grace and April, who is my former roommate. They got to meet, play with, and spend some good time with each other and they became fast friends. :)

7. Got a 200-page manual which will be a great plus for my pre-marital program, One Accord, that I'm preparing to launch in two weeks. The manual accompanied a previous training that I missed and I am just so grateful to have it. It is a wealth of information and resources, that honestly would have probably taken more than 2 weeks for me to compile if I had to do it on my own. side note: I had planned to eventually have something like this- so now I can just add, rather than having to start from scratch! yippeee

8. I got an entire day to network with other professionals. I met some fabulous therapists/mental health professionals and got some great tips for private practice. Those tips are definitely priceless!


I'm sure there are more but I'll stop there. There is an old song I remember and it goes:

Count your blessings name them one by one

Count your blessings see what God has done

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your many blessings see what God has done!

When was the last time you stopped to count your blessings?

Grace, peace, love and blessings to you!
Gia

quote of the week- 1/30/2014

Our last Thursday in Jan...as we continue on with purpose.

weekend jet setter part 1

I traveled the past couple days for a professional development workshop. It was a good time all around, as we (myself, Daelyn Grace and my mom-"pseudo-nanny") stayed with my grad-college roommate.  

the "bible" for professionals
in mental health field

The workshop was all day...we literally left the house at 7:30 and didn't return until after 5pm!!! It was productive and very helpful to my own professional goals so no complaints from me!

The goal of workshop was getting the local professionals familiar with the changes in the DSM-5 - the official diagnostic tool for the mental health field.  have the DSM that I was trained in (previous version) but this version (5) is just released and of course costs a pretty penny. I found it on Amazon for a decent price ($120)...the range goes up to +$150 depending on where you purchase. Now I was all prepared to purchase this, but felt that I wasn't supposed to. I'll admit, I fought this- because in reality I hate going someplace unprepared. I dislike being THAT person. you know the one who needs to share because they aren't prepared. Yes, most of it is rooted in pride (I hate to not have my own things) but part of it, is just me liking to be prepared.

Anyhoo, it was clear...I had no peace about purchasing the book. Side note: having that "peace" is how I know its God "talking" to me. So it took me looking at my Amazon cart for literally 4 days before I finally clicked the "delete from cart" button and proceeded to purchase the other items. I even called April (former roommate) to check with her and she adamantly reassured me that coming without the book was "okay".

So fast forward, its the day of the workshop. I find a table that is strategically at the back of the room and doesn't have a ton of people BUT has someone who has a book. I sit and ask to share. welp. she happily welcomes to share with this stranger.

As the day progresses, we get to know each other during the hourly 10-minute breaks and she eventually asks if I had a book or had plans to purchase. I explain that I wanted to but honestly didn't have funds available at that time and would get it some other time. At lunch time, she indicates that from the beginning of the day, she felt God telling her to give me her book but she struggled because I am a stranger and she paid almost $200 for this book. Ultimately, she surrendered to what she felt was God directing her and blessed me. It was an awesome moment. Her obedience. My obedience. Blessings for us both.

The lesson(s) for me here was very simple:
1. God WANTS to take care of me. I soooo wanted to fix the situation, even to the extent of putting the bill on my credit card, but I obediently did not purchase and He provided- at no cost to me. There is no need too small or insignificant. A book. A stupid book that I may or may not use for another year, if ever...He ensure that I received it.
2.  My obedience is linked to someone else. Of course this is the case with DISobedience. I'm not sure what the lesson is for that lady, but I know what I got. And I'm beyond excited that I listened and also that she listened to.

I believe that God interacts with us daily. Sometimes its through others, sometimes its through those "gut feelings" and of course there are other signs and such. But that the heart of our Christian walk (for those of us who are on this walk), is this surrendered heart to not only recognize when it is God "talking" but to also obey. And even in the small things. Who would have thought that purchasing a book was of any importance??!

So as I leave- be encouraged. Look, listen and obey.

Grace, peace, and love,
Gia

looking forward...excitedly

this is the year of the dream chasing!

As I alluded to last time, there are quite a bit of milestones that I am looking forward to this year. As I completed my 5 year plan, I was challenged to create a 10 year plan. While I have yet to complete this, I've begun to hash out the details for this year's goals.

Two of which are about to be launched! Exciting right? yes! I'm looking forward to February which will hopefully launch my soon-to-be National Premarital group program, One Accord; and also launch the beginnings of Timothy Education Project Bahamas.

The irony of this is, all of a sudden, I'm super busy and in greater demand. I can't remember the last time I had or was invited for a speaking engagement. However, in the past 3 days- I've had two invites. Additionally, a writing commitment I made months ago..like maybe almost a year- suddenly has a deadline (in 2 weeks). This isn't to mention, another writing commitment I made in December that is still ongoing. And a new coordinator project that occurs in March. Yes, I am busy. wooptee-doo right? what's the big deal?

Well the big deal is that, while all these "extras" are super awesome...particularly for my own development and exposure (if I am to think about my own benefits)- these can actually be hindrances...dare I say blockers to my goals. 

Luckily for me, I learned the hard way, that I am not superwoman (see here). Also, this writing commitment made in December has been kicking my butt and made me realize that I don't have to 1. quickly answer/respond to an invitation. 2. I don't always have to say yes (no is a viable answer). Instead, what I need to do is consider what I've already committed to (what exactly are the tasks and responsibilities for this new "thing"?). Further, consider how those commitments fit in with my family's schedule...because afterall, I do have a 6 month old that still needs her momma (not to mention a busy husband that needs his wife). And finally consider how those commitments fit into my plan for attaining my goals. 

So I did something I don't think I've ever done before. I said "no". And guess what? It didn't kill me.  Although, it did hurt because in each instance, it was something that I didn't mind doing. Something for a good purpose---just not necessarily, MY PURPOSE right now. To this end, as I write, I feel free...rather than what I would have felt--which would have been overwhelmed. I will finish what I started (both writing commitments) and I accepted the short-term coordinator project because that occurs March-April and is for a defined time period and it doesn't require any extra on my part. side note: when counting the cost, its important to accurately estimate the time required. Some things sound simple but take a lot -perfect examples are speaking and writing tasks which can be very time/energy consuming when considering the time needed to prepare for it.

So as I leave...are you busy? overwhelmed? resenting the commitments you made? its time to set some clear and healthy boundaries.  Before responding to anything, take some time (even if it requires a follow up phone call) to consider the "cost".

If you are busy doing good...but its not purposeful, then I think its still a waste of your time eh? 

Grace, peace, love and purposeful living,

Gia

quote of the week: 1.16.2014

If you've read my blog, you would have heard me say at some point, that I want to die empty. I want to ensure that when I leave, there is evidence that I was here. Not for accolades, nor for fame, neither for riches, but simply because I believe that I (and you) am made for purpose. When I saw this quote, this resonated with me at the very core of who I am.

Grace, peace, love, and purposeful living,
Gia

roll over...

Daelyn Grace is officially 5 months now. woohoo. She's little miss activity and as per developmental timeline, she's fully into the rolling over stage. At first she was just a tummy to back roller. She's been doing that for at least a month now..but just recently, she's been making the back to tummy shift.

Today as I watched, I had to force myself to not reach out and help her. The poor baby kept getting stuck as she wanted to go to her tummy from her back. The beauty of it was, she didn't give up. She'd try, get stuck (left arm was under her and she couldn't figure out how to get it out I guess) and then roll back on her back and start again.

It literally took maybe 6 tries before she successfully got it. The funny thing was, when she moved from back to tummy, she immediately went from tummy back on her back. side note: she definitely can't spend too much time on a bed alone now.

I caught her! she's also not looking too happy huh?

Throughout this process, she didn't once look at me for help. It was just my maternal instinct that wanted to swoop in and fix it for her. But of course, if I did (and continue to) swoop in and help, the appropriate muscles and such that are needed for this process would never develop. And here was the lesson for me.

SO many times, I (unlike my precious baby) cry out to Father to intervene when I'm "stuck". Its too much. I just want it dealt with.  Fix it now...and despite the fact that I know I need to go through process to build character muscles, it doesn't make the "going through" any easier.

Muscle is harder to build than fat. Muscle is obtained through challenges, through tension, through work. Fat, is accumulated through doing nothing. They both "weigh" the same...after all, a pound is a pound. BUT ten pounds of muscle will look and feel lighter than ten pounds of fat. Additionally, muscle has purpose; fat doesn't. Comparing muscle and fat even further: muscle represents health...fat, well too much of it, can have poor implications for our wellness.

Essentially, I went through that comparison of muscle and fat because I think there is a lesson there. When we go through process and develop certain qualities which prepare us for our goal, we can then handle everything that comes with the acquisition. We are mature, we have necessary skills, we know the purpose of that which we received. However, on the other hand, when we are given things, without being prepared for it...well, you know how that looks. We are more likely to squander or misuse "it" (whatever it may be). We may not know how to correctly use/apply. Worse, that which should be a good thing, because we are unprepared, could now become a bad thing to our lives.

So as I close, remember to be patient; process can be painful...but it is always productive!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Quote of the week: 1.9.14

I do apologize for the lack of posts erlier in the week. I've got a crazy deadline...stay tuned for Monday. I'll be back. In the meantime, chew on this week's quote!

Quote of the week: 1.2.14

Welcome to 2014! January's quotes are all on "purpose".You'd know this is one of my favorite topics!

Grace, peace, love and purpose filled living,

Gia