Lessons learned from a newborn- part 2

Once I'm living and breathing, I want to learn. 

To this end, I've made a personal commitment to myself to find lessons in every (or as many) of my life experiences as possible. As a 30-something new mom, I found myself overwhelmed...with love and stress at the same time as each moment since July 31st, 2013 presented a new and sometimes unpredictable experience. :) As I reflected, I realized that the lessons I learned in the past two months really could be applicable to many instances where we are faced with challenges or an overwhelming, new experience.  If this is your first time stumbling upon this blog, or haven't visited in awhile, you can find Part 1 here.

So here we goooo....

girls day out

Third, set reasonable goals/expectations for yourself. In my example, I found that Daelyn Grace would not be put down for a significant period of time, so I had to give up  trying to do anything major. I quickly learned the beauty of those baby carriers/slings for being mobile and keeping my hands free but it was still only so much I could do. Instead of bucking my head constantly to the wall because I wasn't getting to keep the house spik-and-span, nor could I finish a report for a project I started in my internship, I learned to take what I could get; do what I could and keep it moving. More important (and more reasonable) goals were eating, keeping hydrated, resting and keeping myself clean. Those were big enough challenges to add the "other stuff". And to be honest, at the end of the day life kept moving on.  

Fourth, don't compare your situation to others.  Its unnecessary frustration. While there are similarities which bond us together as humans (see point #2), each of us is unique.  We have different personalities/temperament, different past experiences, different resources...and the list goes on. Each of these differences creates a somewhat personalized experience for each of us. Learn from others' experiences and the experts, but recognize that while these may be helpful, it may not be a perfect fit. Find what works for you and make no apologies about pursuing that solution.

Fifth, find time for yourself away from situation. This may be more specific to my experience, but even if your challenge/experience is not a tangible thing...sometimes we get so caught up that we ruminate.  "Rumination is defined as the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences" -thanks Wikipedia! Essentially in this 5th lesson, I'm challenging you to step away, to stop thinking/stressing over the problem. Distract yourself -not to the extent that you never face it- but to the point that it does not consume you. At this point, you can no longer think straight and honestly, we end up in unhealthy thought and behavioral patterns.  For me, I had to learn that great moms know and accept that they need help and they need breaks/time alone and when I do get those breaks to not sit and worry over what baby is doing. ;))

That's it! Well, wait...since this is Canadian thanksgiving- I guess there is one more lesson...find something to be thankful for. I know this is similar to point #1, where I urge you to give yourself a hug but the difference is, here you are now taking inventory of the good that exists...maybe its the helpful friend/family member, maybe its the fact that you are getting paid and are financially stable despite the circumstances. Maybe its the roof over your head, the food in your belly or for me, my husband, my new baby, my loveable dog and the plethora of those I call family (blood or otherwise).

Grace, peace, love and a grateful heart,
Gia

Lessons learned from a newborn-part 1

Okay. It is officially 2 days shy of 10 weeks since life was changed!!!!!! Miss Daelyn Grace is growing like a weed...literally. Like seriously her weight and length is about the size of an average 4 month old. (insert blank stare here). I'm gonna not only be skinny (breastfeeding DOES cause you to lose weight without doing NOTHING) but my arms are also gonna be buff as she constantly requires rocking, cuddling, holding and bouncing. :D

Anyway, despite the fact that my life currently revolves around her, my plan is to continue to blog about passion, purpose, life and other randomness and not turn this into a baby blog. Sadly, life and randomness are all baby-centered for me as I have not yet returned to work and my involvement in other non-baby activities (eg dissertation, church, etc) have been few and far between. BUT as I sat and thought about what I could share I realized that some lessons I've learned from these past 2 months could be applied to almost any challenging situation.

So...here we go!

First, give yourself some credit. Yes, things may not be as you like it and you may seem like you are flailing about or even failing but I can assure you, it is not 100% bad. Recognize that there are some bright spots and celebrate them. After all, life in general is filled with challenges. Furthermore living life according to kingdom principles becomes even "harder", simply because it goes against our automatic nature and against what everyone else is doing.  In short---Celebrate you. Celebrate your triumphs. Celebrate life.

Second, talk to your someone in your circle- its cathartic. Keeping things in is counter to our mental and physical health. You will quickly find that you may not be the only person in this situation.  Its amazing how similar our experiences are as humans but yet when we go through tough times/challenges, we tend to isolate rather than congregate.  Of course you can't share with everyone, not even everyone in your support network, but definitely find someone to talk to.
Also, if the situation involves someone else, find the right time and place and discuss it with them. One word of caution: it is important how you approach the conversation. Therapy teaches about "I...you" statements. For example, "I feel drained when you.....". This allows us to express our feelings without coming off like we are attacking the other person. The cool thing about this conversation is that sometimes this conversation reveals that the person just did not know...Sadly, many major conflicts start because people aren't on the same page. Anyway...in short, we are made to commune. To live together. To be a support to each other. When we are at our low, that is when this becomes vitally important.

Until next week...

Grace peace and love,
Gia

One month later...

Yesterday made one month since our lives were forever changed. Daelyn Grace is growing....rapidly (already has a double chin and rolls in her thighs) and mommy and daddy are somewhat gaining some sense of normalcy.

We've been blessed with amazing family and friends who have been uber supportive and helpful...if only with sending an encouraging text or a short phone call (whenever I have a free hand to answer). Speaking of hands, these two hands have seemingly multiplied. I thought I could multi-task but this is another dimension. Amazing what toes can do too!

My mom and mother-in-law have been indispensable with cooking, cleaning and sometimes just taking her from me in between feedings. Unfortunately, that sometimes is only 45 minutes as I am exclusively breastfeeding (EBF) and she has not yet been introduced to the bottle.  That we are only EBF'ing has been THE biggest challenge and I now totally and completely understand why many moms choose to supplement and breast feed, or only end up breastfeeding for a couple days/weeks or totally just formula feed from the beginning. The struggle is real!

I'm typing now in this rare 5 minutes (this actually took more than one nap session)...I technically should be trying to eat but I really wanted to blog. I've got babygirl here next to me "sleeping" on the bed and she's coo'ing and grunting and making other random noises as she flitters in between sleep and wake. Someone should have warned me that newborns are rather noisy. Who knew? It was quite disconcerting those first nights/days with her...it was like..."ummm did she swallow animals?"

I've learned soooooo much these past 31 days...about myself, and about infants/newborns and even a little bit about our culture. I find my prayer life has doubled as I am often times clueless and just need the comfort of that heavenly connection. I've become stronger, a tad bit wiser and definitely have had to make some interesting decisions.

Tecnically the "newborn" stage is done and although emotionally and physically exhausting, it was enjoyed. I kissed, cuddled, smiled, and was just woo'ed by this beauty. I am looking forward to the next couple weeks when a routine is established as she moves from that unpredictable-getting-adjusted-to-the-outside-world stage, where I will have a bit more independence and freedom (the only time we leave the house has been for doctors appointments) and I can also jump back on the dissertation wagon (hopefully longer deep naps).

As I leave (for whoever knows how long), here is one of the pictures for her room. It was inspired (almost a duplicate) of an image I saw online and just personalized for my little princess.

Grace peace and love,
Gia