Thirsty

I got news after a beautiful meditation last week that one of our country's politicians had suddenly died. Imagine having such a beautiful quiet time to be rocked with news of the uncertainty of life. It was weird. Well, more accurately, it was sad and sobering. Not because I knew him but because he was young and seemingly healthy and it was sudden.

I heard the news on the way to the shower and as I usually use my shower time, I just prayed. Except the prayer wasn't really a prayer. It was something of a yearning. I thought about how, this young man (early 40's) had served a term(5 years) as a member of parliament, how he had served as minister of youth, sports and culture and inevitably, how he had impacted lives. And that made me think about my own life. Have I made an impact? I love talking about purpose and living passionately but is that reflected in my actions? Is all this "doing" amounting to something? What would be the story, if I was to die today.

I don't need to make national news but I'd want my death to impact someone's life other than my husband, family and friends. From time to time, I reflect on Dr. Myles Munroe's seemingly favorite phrase: dying empty. I can be somewhat morbid in my thinking, particularly of late as death has become more real to me.  Not that I'm sick but maybe because of age, or proximity or consciousness...I don't know. My husband hates when I get on this line of thinking/conversation because it is really uncomfortable to think about. But since the first time I heard Dr Munroe talk about it, it has rattled me. It has awoken a hunger, a yearning for me to live my best life.

In my devotions (Girlfriends in God), one of the authors has been talking about the glory yearn. In Jeremy Statton's blog, he constantly shares about people who are living better stories. I'm drawn to posts and stories and messages such as these. These posts continue to challenge me, to make me aware that the "feeling" I experience so regularly isn't boredom, it is, in its most raw form, a dissatisfaction, a longing for something more. It's the "deep calling out to deep" (Psalm 42:7 KJV). I want to know more of God. I want to fulfill his calling.

I was trying to put into words what this meant and found a response that best resonates with my understanding/use of the phrase:
"It is a poetic way of refering to the deepest, most intimate, heart of someone crying out to know the deepest part of another." -user from yahoo answers

Are you feeling unsettled? Looking for "more"? It's the deep cry of your heart. Even if you haven't yet identified that "feeling", what are your thoughts about your legacy? What story would be told of you after you die? and who would tell this story? I receive the challenge and share it with you to pursue passion and purpose and fulfill that longing...it is God-given and will bring you back to Him. (Psalm 42)

Grace peace and love,
Gia