Come to the fountain

Monday was a hard day. Not because of any one event...but it seemed it was just the cross-section of a lot of "stuff".  It was somewhat of that overwhelmedness that I talked about a couple weeks ago in this post. The funny thing is, when you are tired, weak, broken...then everything becomes a big deal. For example, the fact that my pants was tight around my waist was thoroughly annoying all day and somehow I started on a "I'm fat and out of shape" cry. Without going through every item that seemed to weigh in on my consciousness, just know that the list I referenced  is almost 80% done, which is a great sign of progress, but as is with life, and sometimes my personality, the list just never ends.

By the end of the day, I had nothing left. I was near tears driving in the car with my husband and realized that I did not want to get to that ugly place. I went home and decided to not do anything...that required any consciousness. So I watched tv all afternoon. Had a fairly okay evening just doing nothing and then woke up with yesterday morning, a bit more rested, with this song on my mind.

I decided to have quiet time a bit differently yesterday morning and just played this song (repeatedly) and surrendered the day and all it entails to God.  This was my way to gain "control" of my day. I decided that it was not going to mimick the previous day even though the same list of to-do's remain with even closer deadlines. As I sat with my eyes closed, the scene from the previous night's series premier of The Closer came to me. A teen was accosted at knife point by a very sick serial rapist/killer and he was instructed by the star (Kyra Sedgwick's character) to not struggle. To not move. To allow his body to go limp. Now this kid was quite familiar with this movement due to some unfortunate life circumstances but in that action of complete surrender, he was able to sliver out of the grasp of the one who threatened his life. I thought about how this can be so applicable to my situation. The more I toss and turn, the less rest and peace I'll experience. God invites me (us) to just find our rest in His arms. When we feel life's concerns overwhelming us, we should allow our body, and more importantly, our consciousness, to go limp in surrender to God.  Allow Him to come into the circumstance and just drink from the streams of life and be refreshed.

"All who are thirsty

All who are weak

Come to the fountain

Dip your heart in the stream of life

Let the pain and the sorrow

Be washed away

In the waves of his mercy

As deep cries out to deep (we sing)"

Come to the fountain, I'm already there! Psalm 42

Grace peace and love,
Gia