lil ole me?

21 Saul answered, “But I’m only a Benjaminite, from the smallest of Israel’s tribes, and from the most insignificant clan in the tribe at that. Why are you talking to me like this?” -1 Samuel 9:21

Have you ever thought that? So maybe you aren't Jewish so you aren't of the tribe of Benjamin...but I'm sure there is something in your family history or even personal experiences that seemingly disqualifies you. You don't have a high school diploma. no college degree. you were abused as a child. you don't speak very well. you are fat. ugly. poor. old....(you get the picture).

Based on the flawed standards of this world, there are soooooo many things that disqualify us each day from pursuing the great call that God has placed on our lives. But we must not respond like Saul did in the above Bible story. We must recognize the flaws but recognize that God specializes in things that seem like they "shouldn't be". It makes me laugh each time.

If you are a church goer, you know the stories: the liar (Jacob), the murderer (Moses), the prostitute (Rahab), the adulterer + murderer (David)....yes the list goes on and on but in each instance, something great came from each of these individuals.

Greatness, indeed, doesn't require that the entire world is changed...

greatness is doing what you were made to  do...and in the timing when you should be doing it.

I love how Saul's story continues...

22-23 Samuel took Saul and his servant and led them into the dining hall at the shrine and seated them at the head of the table. There were about thirty guests. Then Samuel directed the chef, “Bring the choice cut I pointed out to you, the one I told you to reserve.”

24 The chef brought it and placed it before Saul with a flourish, saying, “This meal was kept aside just for you. Eat! It was especially prepared for this time and occasion with these guests.”

Saul ate with Samuel—a memorable day!"

It's a beautiful thing, the favour we experience when we are aligned with God's will for our lives...lil ole Saul had a very fancy dinner with Samuel, who was really the most important person among the Israelites (after God of course).  After this Saul gets the word that he has been chosen to be the first King of Israel. A big deal for a little Benjaminite.

What are you "called" to do? Does it seem like too big of a deal for little ole you? I know for me, Mercy House is a huge deal. I always hear people say if your dream isn't big enough to scare you, then go back to sleep (or some derivative of that)- meaning that everyone has a purpose and taken at face-value, that call will seem too big a fit for you (like the kid wearing her parents clothing). BUT its only in this situation, where we are stretched, challenged and changed to become our best selves.

I'm struggling with taking on Timothy Bahamas. It seems too big for me...especially right now. I've got many disqualifiers:  too shy, not very connected, no money, full-time student...BUT fully aware of everything that indicates why I should NOT take on this project, I realize there are so many reasons why I should.

This is for me, right now in this season..and for that, I press onward.

Will you join me? Not necessarily with Timothy project...or Mercy House..but join me in the press toward living in the purpose that God has designed  for you!

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Monday meditations

Sensor your thoughts, maximize your future.

http://pinterest.com/giavana81/word/

Side note: ever grateful to God for keeping us and our nation safe throughout Hurricane Sandy and I send prayers towards those living along the East Coast of the US.

Grace peace and love,
Gia

SHAPE

About 10 years ago (or more), I read The Purpose-Driven Life. It spoke to me..and although I can't remember quotes or even the chapters, the one thing I often think about is the acronym SHAPE. I wouldn't lie to to you to say that I remembered exactly what each of those letters meant but I always remembered the general idea...I was made, divinely designed to fulfill a particular purpose and if I paid enough attention, this would be really obvious in the topics and things that I am interested in, my talents and even to some extent through my experiences.

From purposedriven.com, here is what the SHAPE acronym stands for:

• Spiritual Gifts: A set of special abilities that God has given you to share his love and serve others.
• Heart: The special passions God has given you so that you can glorify him on earth.
• Abilities: The set of talents that God gave you when you were born, which he also wants you to use to make an impact for him.
• Personality: The special way God wired you to navigate life and fulfill your unique Kingdom purpose.
• Experiences: Those parts of your past, both positive and painful, that God intends to use in great ways.

Yesterday my Pastor's message was pretty much about this, without using this language. (Once the video is available, I'll upload it for those who are interested. I don't want to go into too much detail about it.)  The thing is, I feel like I've been hit over the head over and over with this theme for this entire year...

from The Purpose Driven Life Shaped to Serve series (Robert Johnson)

I know what my SHAPE is....have you figured out what yours is?

Grace peace and love,
Gia

...in abundance and in famine

This post is somewhat of a part two and this was much harder than most because I'm being totally vulnerable here.

This lesson began a couple weeks ago (see here) and as the season of famine has continued, I have seen greater lessons for me. Nothing new or earth shattering mind you, simple truths I know but of course were challenged with life and my struggle to not only know of them (truth) but to live it!

Quick review: Earlier in this year, I was in abundance...full-time-student kind of abundance. I juggled 3 jobs and full time school (research, reading and writing) from January to about August and the cumulative pay was enough to cover all my expenses and then some...

End result: I was very proud of my savings. Not that I was boasting to anyone about it..no one really knew it existed but in my heart, I'd somehow (as I shared here) transferred my dependence from God to my savings.

Well as I shared a couple weeks ago, the savings had started to dwindle. What I didn't share was that was just one savings. (insert embarrassed face here). Yup. There was a back up savings to the savings...(I'm a girl-isn't there always?) And now that the savings is gone, the back up savings has dwindlied and once again, I felt the pinch (more like onslaught) of anxiety. It's crazy since I just went through this....

So yes, the lesson last time was that I had shifted my dependence and forgot WHO was my source. This time though, I recognized that the anxiety wasn't so much the fear that God wasn't providing (or wouldn't provide)....

I KNOW that God always comes through for me. Sometimes its really tight deadlines but nonetheless He comes through. ALWAYS. So in my quiet time, I tried to gain understanding that if I really do know and believe that He will come through...why am I still getting all bent out of shape....and there the realization slapped me in the face....I recognized the unspoken question that I was entertaining [subconsciously]:

What happens when it all runs out? 

Of course the "it" here is not my meager, barely-hitting-4figures-savings...

The IT here is God's provision. 

The continued lesson to this is a revelation of my own trust issues. ouch. [Now you understand why this is very hard to share]. I'm a Christian. I LOVE Jesus. I believe. But oh there is still some shaky ground to how I TRUST Him...more accurately, how much I trust His character, who He says He is.

Head knowledge dictates: He's the God of the Universe. His provision is the very air I breathe. So clearly it can't run out...but that doesn't stop the broken, scarred little person inside of me from questioning whether or not this is really true. :sigh:  

The cool thing as I wrote and reflect, is that this is what these lessons are about. Uncovering the holes and inconsistencies in my relationship with God and (re)surrendering my heart so that the relationship can be taken to another level.

I'm riding this out as I type...and I do not know what else this soul-searching will reveal but I'm here and I'm continuing on in the course. Rolling with the punches and extra careful to glean the lessons and whenever possible, share them with you. Humbly.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

Pressing on...

I'm tired....like not just the regular tired but sleepy. Hopefully I get a better night's rest tonight, but as I sat here looking at the computer screen and thought of what I wanted to "say" today, I was kinda blanking out.

So I sat here and reviewed my goals for this blog. I continued writing this blog  for the purpose of encouraging, uplifting and challenging my readers to live their best life. I'm about making a mark on this world through living a life that is purposeful and God-centered. If I could find 1,000 different ways to get across the importance of pursing passion and purpose, I would. :) I firmly believe it is the true secret to success and happiness that so many people long for.

Well...enough talking for today (you know I try to keep Fridays a light read).  Instead, I want you to tune in to short  interview which is a follow up on a series that my Pastor (featured) preached on last month called "Running to Win".

Enjoy

Grace peace and love,
Gia

Happy Thanksgiving (Canada)

Well, it is Thanksgiving in Canada and of course yesterday the sermon in Church centered around being grateful.

Pastor Rick at WCF, gave us three hallmarks of living that we should incorporate into our daily living (based off 1 Chronicles 16:4):
1. remember the blessings
2. give thanks
3. to praise or celebrate

These seem simple enough and without question, I know incorporating them into my daily routine, particularly as a substitute for complaining will reap great benefits. However, in my quiet time this morning, I thought about how "easy" (or not) this would be to do during the "winter" experiences and seasons of our life. You know, when it seems that nothing in life is going right, we are suffering a huge loss, grieving the death of a loved one, when the cupboards are bare, when the prognosis is negative, when our loved ones are acting the fool...yea the list can go on and on.

The thing I realized about these three steps is that they are actually in order. If you do not remember the blessings of yesterday (or even the blessings of today), it will be difficult for you to give thanks....and without both of these steps, what do you celebrate?

Some days I wish I had an opportunity to engage in the Jewish culture. I'm not sure how it works now with modern Jews, but the Bible tells us that they shared their stories with their kids. I imagine them all sitting around the elder of the family and listening to how God delivered their ancestors on the many different occasions. With those kinds of rituals, it's almost impossible to forget the blessings.



Let's take a second (or two) to reflect on everything you have. Now thank God for His provision and then Praise Him!

Today I remember:

• how much my parents sacrificed to get me a good education
• how God financially provided for two parents (no college degree) and for the most part minimum-wage jobs to maintain a household of 6 children...there was never a day where there wasn't food, clothing, shelter. We even had vacations!
• how God brought people in my life, in Minnesota, in West Palm and now...in Canada. People who have shared their lives, their houses/food/resources and their love to a [at first] stranger from the Bahamas.
• how we (my roomie and I) were kept safe on a roadtrip when we ignorantly jeopardized our own safety (read story here)
• how the supplies didn't run out and every child/family was blessed

The tears are streaming as I type and I want you to know, selecting these five experiences to remember was difficult because there has been so many times, where I have no doubt, it has been God's hand in my life, protecting me, providing for me and loving me. 

I'm going to need to save this, and of course add to it with all the other events, because I want to raise my future child(ren) on these stories. I want them to hear about how God is active and living today in their parents' lives, not only the awesome Bible stories.

Today I remember. I commit to remember, to be thankful and to celebrate because God has never once forgotten me. I feel it's only good manners that I graciously return the favor.

Grace peace and love,

Gia

What do you have to give?

This is the 4th installment in the post-Guyana series...my reflections.

I was commenting to Schantal that the project itself didn't become "real" until I saw those kids. Until I got a glimpse into their lives...until each name had a face.

One particular face was not very pleasant.  I'm not referring to the features that make her "beautiful" or "ugly", I'm talking about the seemingly angry way in which she interacted with everyone. Someone actually commented that she seemed ungrateful or rude. For a second (and I literally mean one second), I entertained thoughts about "not liking her" because of this rough exterior but I quickly shook it off and forced an even bigger smile than usual as I met with her and her mom.

It was then that I got the inside scoop.  Without going into the details, lets just say that this 14 year old, has more on her plate than the average kid. It was no wonder why she seemed so rough...hardened...mean. Additionally, because I showed myself friendly, I got a smile. It was somewhere during our interview, I can't remember what I told her but from the scowl, a real life genuine smile emerged and it rocked my world. The smile was fleeting but it was genuine and it was enough to keep the memory of this young lady ever before me as I continue to pray for her, her healing, her strength and the healing of their family.

For this teenager, it wasn't the school clothes, the school bags and supplies, not even the shoes or the food, that made her smile again (I told you, she had a perpetual angry face) but the other smile I witnessed was when I gave her a $2 headband (like the one pictured).


So essentially, my time, unconditional attention and care and the small gift seemingly made someone's day. Makes me wonder what else I can give to impact someone's life.

The next time I saw this young lady, she looked excited to see us. I think we all were shocked. Maybe it was our conversation, maybe the workshop, maybe the school supplies, maybe the headband...who knows what it was- but the end result is a softened heart. My prayer is that this young lady now feels less burdened, less neglected, a smidgen more hopeful and definitely loved.

Have you ever had one of those experiences? Where something you thought to be insignificant seemingly changed someone's demeanor or even their day or better yet..their life? please share in the comments section below!

Grace peace and love,

Gia

Fear Factor pt 2

Tabby waking up from nap

In part one, I introduced you to Tabby...the cutest little love bug of a kitten you would find. And I'm (or was) afraid of her. :sigh:

I also began telling you about my personal challenge to tackle my fears as I am presented with them...this was why, I  didn't object when my roomie asked if getting a cat was okay. I was like "sure". Definitely. I even hooked her up with a friend who was fostering kittens and encouraged the adoption 100%. Needless to say she was shocked when she saw my reaction to the cat (see post here for that hilarity).

Now personally, I know myself. I knew my tolerance for cats...we can coexist in the same space once the cat stays as far as possible away from me. It's okay to pass by me, sniff quickly and go about your business but friendly interactions are a no-no. But of course, I chose to not say anything.

This was my chance to do two things:
1. To not rob my roommate of the opportunity to have her own pet to love on (and keep her company) as Ari does so well for me and
2. To face this dumb fear and overcome it.

I mean seriously. They are cats. Tons of people have them as pets...maybe not many Bahamians (or apparently Nigerians) but it is an unfounded, irrational fear. I've never been hurt by one and don't know anyone who has (except Schantal when she did something dumb, but then she still loves them). On top of that, why should I allow something this insignificant to impact my peace of mind (when we happen to be in the same space). Not to mention, this is a huge deterrent for visiting friends.

As I reflected on the what this step meant, I realized that too easily I (we) allow really insignificant, unfounded, and irrational beliefs about people, things, goals to hinder us from living fully. This experience made me really think about what other "things" am I so afraid of, that it is hindering me.  Fear of failure. Fear of being embarrased. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loneliness. Fear of discomfort. Fear of what people will say or think. Fear of failure (hmm did I say that already? yes it's that big).

The TRUTH of the matter is, unlike Tabby's quick agility, fear is NOT innate to us. We were not born with it. (2 Timothy 1:7) It is not God's will for our life in any form. We are called to be in authority, walking in peace and love.

Even if you aren't a Christian- Is life REALLY that much better, that more fulfilling, when we live in fear just going through the motions of a dull comatose routine tucked away in some form of a shell, when there is so much out there to conquer? This formerly "scary" girl will be the first to say: I'll settle for the comatose routine when I'm dead.  I've got dreams. I got plans. I've got the world to conquer and I'm running hard and fast after it [Shout out to P. Mery ;)]

You know how some really random things people say will stick with you for years? Well, it was bout 11 years ago, my then roommate Tiffany challenged me.

 "Gia, how do you know what happiness feels like if you've never felt sad?". 

It was one of those conversations which grew me up. I'll never forget it. And yes, sadness and fear are two different things, but the principle remains, how do you know what is fun, exciting, thrilling, heart-pumping if you are laying still and doing nothing? We only know darkness because we have experienced light. We only know hurt/rejection, because we have tasted, glimpsed..experienced love.

I asked you about your fears last week and now I want to challenge you to face 'em. Not all at a time. Baby steps. But definitely try it. Not only will you feel excitement and pride for the "accomplishment" but you will also be one step closer to living your life fully.

Grace peace and love,
Gia