when things don't go as planned

This week has been challenging. Between the normal busyness, physically and mentally, I have also been a bit beat.  I had to accept that one of my goals just was not going to be realized...well at least not in the time frame that I had planned and it was quite the disappointment.

What do we do when life doesn't go as planned:

1. Acknowledge. It makes no sense to pretend disappointment doesn't exist. Or that the unachieved goal or thwarted plan has not impacted you. It happened, it hurt....now what?

2. Grieve. It sounds dramatic, especially since we normally associate grieving with death, but it is an accepted process that when individuals are faced with significant disappointments, it is natural to grieve.  This is not the pity party..."oh life isn't working out for me. Nothing ever happens good." blah blah blah...this is a time (that goes hand in hand with #1), where you can acknowledge that your goal was not attained and the fact that that sucks.  For me this week, I grieved and battled feelings of failure, disappointment and sadness.

3. Reflect. What are the lessons learned? Nothing happens by chance. It is usually a product of our activity or lack thereof. What could have been done differently? This is, once again, not the call to wallow in what should have been but I am a firm believer in that our past holds the key to our future. We must acknowledge, understand and accept what has happened in order to truly move forward as a more informed person. Remember: Reflect not reside.

4. Regroup. Here we are moving forward. My friend, Path Coach Kaylus, would say seek clarity on your next steps by identifying questions that need illuminating.  Some of my questions:
Do I want to try the same goal again in light of current circumstance?
Is it worth it?
Do I still want "it"?
Is this the right timing?
Is there another way to go about this?

4. Redefine. In this step, I identify the new goal. The "new goal" could be the same goal with different parameters. Different timelines. Different sources of help to achieve.  To truly redefine, I will incorporate the lessons I learned and the answers to my regrouping questions so that I can carve out a plan for moving forward that is practical, relevant and attainable.

Talking this through to you, has helped me. I was stuck somewhere between step 3 and 4.

Oh! I should note, if you are at this stuck point because of failed or unrealized goals/dreams and cannot move through these steps alone, definitely seek coaching.

Grace peace and love,