I'm a scary person...the psychologist in me attributes some of this to a very careful personality, some to exposure to domestic violence as a child and then some to just general life experiences (mine and the stories of others).
I've determined...apparently, to start battling these fears. I'm not sure when it really happened. Maybe earlier this year when I told God that I was tired of being afraid and to take the fear from me, maybe/maybe not...I really don't know- all I know is that I'm finding that I'm intentionally putting myself (or allowing myself) in some pretty "scary" situations with the hope of confronting and overcoming it.
One of the most recent of these challenges is my fear of cats. Yes. the innocent little house animals that millions of people have for pets. In this instance, this is ALL environment. My mom hates them. Most people I grew up around hates them...more accurately afraid of them. My husband, my mother-in-law....you name the role and I'll get a "ewww" response.
My
roommate---not so much. She loves them. She's barely into her 3rd decade of life and she's probably had at least 5 cats...yes, I see cat-lady in her future. ;)) But nonetheless, she got one over the summer and while I was away, I have been pumping myself up for this cohabitation. Well, hopefully a cohabitation and not a show-down. Yes me and the cat.
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| Tabby in the desk drawer |
The cat in question is Tabitha. Tabby Banks. Tabbers. Tabs. Tabby wabby (as I sometimes now affectionately call her). She is cute. Like very cute (even for a cat). Although, nowhere near as cute as my Ari..but super cute nonetheless. She's also the sweetest, most loveable, like seriously needy animal out there. If she could be cuddled and coddled and curled up in your arms/lap/legs for 24 hours, she would. Well minus the one-two hours each day of random uncontrollable play hunting that she does (she's only about 5 months).
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| curled up for nap time |
But the first week or so here was rough...even with this super duper cute, harmless, very small animal. I was deathly afraid. I knew I'd get over it and I am honestly still in process. But it wasn't easy. She always wanted to be around me. I commented to friends that her goal was to become BFFs when I only wanted amicable acquaintanceship :D But she is a persistent little love bug. In the words of Steve Urkel "She's wearing me dowwwwnnn". And so I relented. A little bit. I touched her. I didn't squeal everytime she came near me. I didn't run away when she would approach me. I allowed her to touch me..only the parts where clothes covered of course! And now, 3 weeks later, I can even pick her up and cuddle for a couple seconds.
Mind you, she still kinda freaks me out. She is just too quick, has no limits (can jump any heights) and too agile. :shudders: but she means no harm, it is all innate natural cat behaviour.
Some may say, this was unnecessary but it was pure unadulterated fear. I knew I was being silly but....:shrugs:
Are you afraid of something like I am of cats? Share with us in the comments section below. Don't be shy or embarrassed, we all have something that brings the "irrational" out in us.
I'll be back with the lesson from this on-going experience next week.
Grace peace and love,
Gia
