Disappointment

Disappointment. It is an unfortunate life occurence that we cannot escape. Although, I guess some would say that you can avoid being disappointing by not having any expectations. I know that was my position for a little while (maybe longer than a "little while"). In any event, I realized that it was not a healthy way to live, for a number of reasons, the main one being that I missed out on living by trying to insulate myself from imperfect situations and subsequent bad feelings. As a friend once pointed out (paraphrased), "how can I truly enjoy happiness if I don't know what sadness feels like; life is a roller coaster, enjoy the ride."

I decided to write about disappointment today because that is what I experienced just now. I came here to click "post" to share with you a great Lessons from Ari post, only to find the post empty. I spent probably 45 minutes writing and researching that particular update and if I do say so myself it was really good. I know some of you may be like, that's nothing to cry about (and it really isn't) but the fact of the matter is, I really do feel sad/disappointed that it is lost. I invested time and energy into the development of that writing and I was proud of my work. To make matters worst, I signed into my online banking, as I was expecting some money, only to find the account still reflecting the mere 2-digit balance. womp womp. This realization occured less than 5 minutes after the blank blog post revelation. :insert deep sigh here:

So you can imagine, my next set of thoughts were that today is going to suck. The funny thing about our mind is that the minute it is focused on a particular type of thought, the more likely it is to bring to our memory other similar thoughts. For example, as I sat, for less than 5 minutes mulling over this missing post and trying to decide what I wanted to do about it, and the fact that I do not have money that I was really counting on, I then remembered another disappointment that I experienced this morning. You see, I was up bright and early and had already made plans to get breakfast from a particular place, however due to a last minute change in events, I wasn't able to get breakfast (and I've already shared how I feel about food ;) ).  And I was soooooo looking forward to this particular Bahamian treat. Then I remembered that yesterday I was having some challenges and woke up this morning with a new plan to address this challenge, only to have that new plan knocked down. You can see where this is going right? Had I not been careful, what is a beautiful day that the Lord has made, could have easily, very quickly turned into a  I-wanna-crawl-back-under-the-covers day. Instead of singing a praise, I'd soon be singing the song of gloom and doom.

BUT (and it is a big but), I am in control of my thought life. I recognize that despite the couple disappointments, the day is still early and there are still opportunities for it to turn around. Above and beyond that, should nothing good happen today, I am still blessed. beyond. measure. Seriously. To get started on how blessed I am will make this post ridiculously too long.

As a therapist, I know about changing/shifting thought patterns. I know how to, and the importance of, reframing; which is (very simply) changing how you view a situation.  I know how my thoughts impact my mood and behaviors. I also know that our behaviors, if deliberate, can impact our thoughts. As a Christian, I know that I should think on things that are good, pure, true...(Philippians 4:8). I also know that I have authority to take every [wayward] thought captive to make it line up with truth, i.e. what God says. I also know the difference between facts and truth. The fact may be that a couple things didn't go as planned for me today, I'm not suggesting being delusional. However, the TRUTH is that God is still in control of everything and He makes all things work together for the good of those who love and are obedient to him (Romans 8:28).

And...if I was to shake myself for a teensy second, I realize that maybe God didn't want me to share the Lessons from Ari today. That maybe there was something else that needed to be shared for even just one person who may stumble upon my blog and experiencing a REAL disappointment (not that mine were fake but just trivial). That I needed to instruct (or remind) this person that you have authority over your thoughts, feelings, and actions. That if you consciously choose to think on things that are good, you are more likely to find more good things to think on and improve your mood. To remind you that there is a difference between what you are experiencing (facts) and what God says about your situation (truth). To remind you of Romans 8:28, Romans 8:37, Genesis 50:12, and Jeremiah 29:11. If these aren't enough, email me for some more (giavana.jones@gmail.com).

If you are experiencing a disappointment, whether serious or trivial- choose not to allow it to impact your outlook. Grieve the "loss" but even still, be aware of the authority you have and exercise that authority. Speak truth over your situation and look toward the future with expectancy. Find the purpose or  lesson, i.e. another perspective, in the situation and embrace the process by which we are matured.

edited to add this excellent phrase from Path CoachKaylus
"disappointments are divine reschedules and cancellations for better and more appropriate"

Grace peace and love,
Gia