Passion, Life and Randomness

Sunday's Inspiration

2010-06-06T12:29:00.004-04:00

Since January 2010, I feel God has been speaking to me about surrender...about trust. Relinquishing my will..for His. At TLC Bahamas, it is aptly put as "I say Yes".

I have been walking in this "Yes". Although difficult, I remind myself daily that God sees, He knows, He cares and above all, He loves me. Because of that love, so pure and divine, I know that everything is taken care of. No need to doubt or fear.

Of course I have to remind myself daily cause umm lets be real, there are plenty times when this is a difficult reality to accept.

I just recently admitted to a friend that the word "change" scares me. I was challenged to find a synonym that is less scary. I thought this through and came up with the word "transition". I can deal with transitioning...it sounds of process, of baby steps or a steady progression... still change but carries a less drastic connotation for me. I can process "transition". :)

Clearly a new season began for me in Sept 2009 with the "big move", however I have this feeling that the process surrounding that move is not completed and I sit patiently waiting to see how my God is gonna show up next!

I challenge you to say "Yes". to surrender...ultimately to trust God. Even when things don't look right...when you have no clue what is going on..Trust that God knows. and He's making (or made) a way through! Remember:

Everything He is...is ours! ~ Pastor Q (6/5/2010)

This song ministered to me yesterday. I pray it does to you too!

:gasp:

2010-06-05T17:08:00.004-04:00

I never imagined, when I applied and then accepted the invitation to enroll in a doctoral program, that it would be THIS intense. I mean, I have already successfully completed a Masters program and it was literally a cinch. I had tough moments, some long nights but all-in-all...I was at the top of my game even while holding down a full time job for the last year of the program.

WoW! how completely different is this experience! Anyway, this post is not to complain about my program. I am honored to be a part of such a program. I've just find myself so busy, and at a point where I don't have time. I could literally wake up at 7ish and begin working after my morning devotion/quiet time and go straight through until 7pm. Of course I take breaks to eat and engage in idle internet surfing but nothing compared to what I was used to. So much so that my hair...my obsession has actually fallen on the list of "important things".

Rest assured, I'm still taking care of my love, just with less passion. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, structure and consistency is a great thing! My routine has become very simple as I summarized here with a set arsenal of products. In the past month or so (since early April), I found most of my products running low and surprisingly, I never found the time to re-stock.

Most items I can pick up at a local grocery store so that is no big deal except my beloved Hairveda Whipped Gelly. Well, after literally scooping the last morsel of gelly on my twists 2 weeks ago, I finally made an effort to reorder. Of course, in my own way, that effort was another FAIL as somehow I left the shopping bag and never completed the order. A week later...I completed the order. Unfortunately (or fortunately) most products are made to order thus there is no such thing as overnight (or even 2 day) delivery.

At this point I'm packing up to head home for the summer (YAY) and get desperate so I try to find something, (1) that's already made, (2) that is not too expensive (3) that seems like it has similar ingredients and (4) consistency to possibly substitute until my goods are ready and delivered to me. I stumble upon Darcy's Botanicals. :shrugs: never heard of them, but I found a product that is a possible 4/4 for my requirements. Well... I forgot to mention that I put down this task (I told you my hair dropped on my list of important things) and never really actually ordered until 4 days after I found it.

So long story short, I'll probably be receiving both products about the same time. The one smart thing I did do, was changed my original order with Darcy's Botanicals from their Natural Coils Curling Jelly - which had a very similar ingredient composition as my beloved Whipped Jelly

KEY INGREDIENTS
Distilled Water, Organic Aloe Juice, Vegetable Glycerin, Organic Coconut Cream, Organic Brown Rice Extract, Castor Oil, Xanthan Gum (Thickeners), Hydrolyzed Oats, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid, Fragrance & Sea Moss Extract.

to their Avocado and Honey Twisting Creme - which seems much thicker/heavier in consistency.

KEY INGREDIENTS
Organic Aloe Vera Juice, Distilled Water, Avocado Oil, Organic Sustainable Palm Oil, Vegetable Emulsifying Wax, Vegetable Glycerin, Panthenol, Botanical Oil Complex, Wildflower Honey, phenoxyethanol and caprylyl glycol, Ylang Ylang, and Lemon Essential Oils.

Both are moisturizers and styling products...I just hope that I made a good decision to switch. But I'm very excited. I haven't received it yet, but has received notification of shipping so in another week or two I should be able to give a pre-product review. :-)

cheers!
Gia

Hair Update

2010-05-12T09:38:00.007-04:00

Remember this post....Hair Porn??? My aim was for a fuller head of hair by April. Well it is May and although my hair is not quite as full (I am not sure my texture will ever create such a look) but I think the length and thickness is worthy of a shoutout!

It is a kind of unfair comparison since my hair is technically ‘straightened’. Quotes were necessary since this picture was taken merely hours after the heat was applied to my hair.

But all-in-all some significant growth if I do say so myself. I’ve played around with some styles since I took the 4 month break so you will just have to check out my fotki if you are interested. I hope to create some more funky styles once I get home and I have access to people who can braid my hair.

Regimen

I finally managed to get in a Trader Joes and got their shampoo and conditioner. I am very pleased with the price and just as happy with how my hair feels after the shampoo and conditioning...

I also incorporated the Castor Oil challenge for 6 weeks. Nothing to report. There were not any negative side effects I noticed so in light of the huge container of castor oil that I purchased, I will continue to oil my scalp with castor oil...once I remember.

Deep conditioning- I’ve been bad and somehow deep conditioning went down the drain. A combination of no hooded dryer here in Canada and my house being cold, I didn’t have the nerve to walk around with a wet head longer than necessary (i.e. longer than it took to dry). Once again, I haven’t really noticed any negative side effects so maybe the regular conditioning, leave-ins and other products I use was helpful.

Twists were pretty much my staple since January. When not in twists, my hair was braided so I think protective styling can be credited with the ‘no negative’ repercussions from the decrease in deep conditioning. Current twists (put in on Sunday, 5/9.2010)

Heat- there was no heat included until May 1^st when I had my hair flat ironed in order to get the ends clipped. Even with the hair ‘straightened’ I primarily wore my hair in a bun or with a phony pony so the ends were still protected.

And that’s me...as far as my hair goes. The obsession has decreased a bit. I’m less of a ‘nazi’ in certain areas. I still struggle from time to time with my texture and all those lies I have swallowed over the years.

smooches

Part II

2010-05-11T19:00:00.004-04:00

One of my biggest issues this past year was my location. Don't get me wrong, I love(d) my house from the very beginning.

My problem has been how far I am from everyone and everything, see here for a full 'tirade'. New to the country, new to the school...no family or friends---yea loneliness killed me! Well in January/early Feb, my landlords and I came to a peaceful agreement. Since things were getting more and more difficult for them to find someone to commit to such a short term lease (6 months) especially in the middle of winter, they knocked off $100 from the rent and I accepted.

The strike ended the same week (or maybe a week or so before) so I was feeling much more hopeful about regaining my independence with a car. Well of course, as I shared in the last post, I only got the car beginning of April...more than 4 months later but I got more acquainted with the bus system and just made it work! It was all about a change in perspective and the power of 'hope'. A little bit of hope can fuel an empty vessel! I think the fact that I was simultaneously working on that license also helped to make me feel like I was 'progressing'. I got a sense of control back, I was able to change my situation.

Anyway, long story short, I unpacked....gradually (yes that means that I surely did pack up EVERYTHING), made more regular visits to friends, the mall, the movies- all via the local bus system. In March, I got connected with a local church and that just opened an entire new support system for me.

so....I am back at the point I was in January except under better circumstances. My lease is up in August and since I will be heading back home at the end of this month, I need to secure new residences before I leave.

After a mere 2 weeks of looking, I've found a place that I love! YAY! It meets all my requirements and price is competitive for the area and what it offers- I am only waiting to hear back from the landlord to see if it is still available. what it offers:

close location to school - 5 minutes (walk) - which is great since parking for me (who refuses to pay for a school permit) is about a 10 minute walk now.
hardwood floors, I detest carpeting unless I am the first to live with it
central air -HUGE bonus although I probably will only need it for 3 months of the year. I will be missing the awful heat this summer
all utilities included in rent
personal washer and dryer- NOT coin operated
personal storage space in basement
parking
complimentary furniture if I want (desk, table, couch and chairs)

I am hoping this move is the last one I will have to make until it is time for graduation so I have some serious demands to ensure comfort and sanity over the next 3-4 years. If the above described apartment doesn't work out for me, I found a backup today. This one is a 1 bedroom though, so it is not ideal for a situation if Handsome decides to join me and live here for a couple years but it isn't that small that we couldn't make it work either.

All in all, I am optimistic about the new living arrangements although I am not looking forward to actually moving. :)

Until next time...

smooches!

Part 1

2010-04-27T23:23:00.010-04:00

I know I promised an update over a week ago but clearly that was a FAIL although for a worthy cause...had a deadline for my final assignment that kinda overtook my life.

I figured I'd start the update with the easiest thing....

I am a fully licensed driver in Ontario!!! As of April 1st, my 4 month process came to an end...or should I say "beginning" considering it marked the beginning of another aspect of this journey.

Here is my little blue Aveo affectionately known as "Smurfie".

It is still taking some getting used to as it is a very small vehicle and I am an SUV kinda girl but I refuse to complain and am just loving my new found freedom.

Backing up a bit...this process began in January with the written test, then I had to take 2 (yes I said 2) road tests. and NO, I didn't fail any- it's apparently the Canadian way for everyone to go through 2 stages before being fully licensed. I, fortunately, was blessed to get the 1 year wait time between the 2 road tests waived, thus my entire experience was only 4 months when it technically should have been more like 1 year and 4 months...

Other wonderful things going on:

I found a church and a new church "family" that I love
I am still in the same house and happy (Part II)
In general, I am more comfortable and less lonely even though I am still living alone
I have friends and the beginnings of a social network in the city
My hair is growing healthy and I'm loving it...most days
I have completed the first year and I am living to tell the tale (Part III)

I think that is all for now...I promise to not stay away too long. I'm still under a deadline (summer project) but it is definitely less demanding than juggling classes, work and life!

smooches

Guess who's back?

2010-04-12T09:57:00.003-04:00

...and no I'm not refering to the 50 cent albumn!

The semester is about to end and after getting a comment about an earlier post, I figured I need to re-introduce myself and get to updating on this crazy but productive past 4 months!

so look out for a possibly very long mini-series i.e. update. :)

HAPPY MONDAY!!

I'm alive

2009-12-04T17:50:00.004-05:00

......JUST BARELY!

All is well...all is cold...I'm pooped.

here I am all dolled up for the wedding last week...I included close ups of the hair styled (kinky twists).

Now I've accessorized and on my way to the wedding!

pray for me....one more week of classes and three papers/assignments due!

smooches!

Boogie Woogie Monday

2009-11-23T09:07:00.004-05:00

myflowerclipart.com

I swear, I'm about to burst with excitement!

In a matter of days...well I usually count the nights I'm in this lonely house (2 more nights)...I'll be with my family and friends and of course with Handsome!!!

I'm honored and privileged to be heading home this Thanksgiving weekend to be a support for my friend on her wedding day! Of course, the wonderfullness (yes my word) is I get to see everyone from family, church family, coworkers...

mmmm so nice. Now if I can only contain this excitement to make it through the next two days of classes...

Happy Monday!

Oh! thought for today:

It is the simplest joys that can bring the Heart it’s sweetest pleasures.

Let's reflect on those simple joys...on how blessed we are regardless of the situation!

smooches!

BIGFOOT

2009-11-20T12:30:00.005-05:00

OK. so not quite...but how can something that provides such warmth, comfort and just pleasure make my feet look so ugly????????

LOL.

quite random...yes I know but I bought these boots on a whim, partly because I was seeking for something comfortable and warm (not necessarily stylish) and of course, inexpensive! these were about $15 bucks on ebay and shipping to Canada was another $10ish so that ended up being very reasonable...especially considering most online stores want me to pay more than $20 for shipping to Canada. so not cool.

I won't be giving these babies up anytime soon, even though they make my feet look like its the size of Shaquille O'Neil. My friend and I were giggling uncontrollably because her first response after cooing over how comfy they were- was "BigFoot"!!!

Note: these are NOT UGGS. These are a very cheaply made imitation and I've already seen where the bottom is wearing off quickly. I dont' know what's going to be left and how long its going to last, but I won't be too hurt if they don't last past this winter...it will give me an incentive to actually invest next fall and get a more sturdy pair of warm comfy boots!

I'm out! smooches

::PAUSE::

2009-11-19T13:25:00.003-05:00

I feel like I'm having an elipses moment

I'm nowhere near being done with this semester but in light of the fact that we have exactly 3 weeks of classes left and I just completed another major project and am feeling comfortable (about 45% done) with another major project, I'm having an 'exhale' moment.

Not a break, not time to rest, nor let out the breath or even sleep, just an ...

because there is definitely more to go!!

smooches!

moving...again?!?!?

2009-11-15T09:39:00.004-05:00

Well the past two weeks have been interesting to say the least. I've put in a request to my landlords, about a week ago, to prematurely terminate my lease. This request went with a thumping heart and a million prayers as I know that there were a couple ways that letter could have been received and of those ways, more than half were negative! :sigh:

Well, full of class and grace, my wish has been granted under one circumstance, the house gets sold/rented before I leave. So as of last week Monday, the house is now on the market and once a prospective person(s) signs the contract, then my contract is terminated- IMMEDIATELY.

Quite the interesting predicament huh? Well a little background so you can understand what drove me to such a drastic decision:

1. finances: we aren't begging or selling but we aren't doing as well as we were a couple months ago when we had two full incomes and one set of bills. There were some disappointments regarding scholarships and financial opportunities at the beginning of the semester that I had no control over so we just 'rolled with the punches' and now realize that these punches are hurting! :-) I would do anything now to decrease some strain on my husband who takes his job as 'provider' very very seriously!!!

2. distance: I've mentioned I'm getting awesome exercise walkng to and from school and honestly, I'm ok with it. EXCEPT at 5pm or later once the sun begins to set and the normal walk becomes a safety risk...single female walking street in dark on same route at least 3 times per week...hmmm I know I watch too many crime dramas on tv (I'm addicted) but the reality is, despite my feelings of safety in this area, there is always a potential risk and I should be constantly aware of it. Now that I had a nice reminder about this 2 weeks ago (I'll spare you the details-nothing serious but creepy), it's more of an issue than it was before. I didn't even mention the impending winter that's approaching and how this 1/2 hr walk will soon become brutal when I'm faced with the elements: snow, wind, ice, slush... NOT. FUN. ANYMORE

3. opportunity: I wasn't looking for a new place. let me put that out there... but like life, tons of opportunities blow your way once you are in a situation (eg have a job, have a home etc). Where were all these awesome vacant, reasonable, clean and close apartments when I was looking???? well apparently, right where they are now! I just had no clue of the area and where and how to look etc. But on a serious note, a friend/classmate somehow decided to ask on my behalf (without me even knowing) and found that the 2 bd apartment next to theirs (share an indoor duplex), was vacant with a price that beat what I currently pay and inclusive of utilities...which I currently pay! ahhhhhhh that had my head spinning for at least 3 days before I fully processed. I would be saving anywhere from $300 per month if I were to move. ahhhhhhhh and I wouldn't have to stress about a car because this place was 15 mins closer to school and closer to more convenient stores etc. and NO LEASE. which now I'm more appreciative of especially since I'll possibly be moving at an awkward time.

4. companionship: this is the last on the list and the least practical reason to break a legal binding contract but in my heart, is the first on the list. I would be literally a step away from two wonderful women who have slowly become friends and then a block away from other classmates/friends. WOW. this offers me some human contact outside of class days... that idea alone floats my heart. what can I say- I love my independence but I love being around people I care about more! This provides the best of both worlds!

So those 3 (ok...4) reasons drove me to write that letter and request to be released. I didn't quite expect this response but its fair and workable...but it's also very sporadic or unplanned. That is, I have no clue when someone is gonna make an offer/close/sign. Furthermore, I kinda wanted to be out here as of December when I leave for break, to start a new life in January. I'm going to be gone for about 3 weeks...what if I don't pack up before I leave and something happens and people want in the house beginning of month? I don't return until January 11th...and would be DISTRAUGHT if I have to leave Nassau on 'emergency' to come and move.

So the plan is to move before I lofe. Of course, moving means paying deposit on new apartment and confirming move in date before I even have move out date confirmed. ACK. can you say...drive me cazy?

I'm prayerfully waiting...quietly to just get some direction. The best scenario is for something to happen now or within the next 2 weeks so I'll know clearly to move and I just be 'homeless' i.e live on my new neighbors' couch for the last couple days I'm here but life is so funny...those 'best scenarios' rarely play out.

If you've got an extra prayer- lift one up on my behalf please. for wisdom. and also I'm praying for a quick turnover of this house. I don't mind (although I would love not to) paying December rent which is due in 2 weeks but I really really really want to start January fresh and paying only one rent!

Lord, I know you are there..you've heard me, you know my heart, and you my predicament. I quiet my heart to hear from you. I know you have my best at heart and is working everything out for my good. I love you. I also lift up everyone that passes through this page - let your Spirit become real to them, may their greatest need be met and know that it is YOU!~ your daughter, Gia

Happy Sunday!!!!!!!

Fried Dry!

2009-11-06T00:26:00.002-05:00

my brain on stats!

Remember the early 90's anti-drug commercials with the eggs. "This is your brain"...scrambled eggs = "This is your brain on drugs".

Well that above kinda looks like how my brain feels. I've had a restless past two nights due to my dreams being invaded by my statistics assignment. Every time I feel like I'm moving forward and I understand and "I can do this", the wind gets knocked out of me!

I'm seriously tired. I think I will turn in for the night and start fresh again in a couple hours...

smooches

A new way?

2009-10-31T14:16:00.003-04:00

I'm no Einstein, nor do I consider myself creative or 'smart'...but I wanted a more effective way to clean my hair- moreso my scalp while in braids without having to immerse my entire head in water.
.
The last time I wore braids, I got the idea to use the color applicator bottle to apply conditioner directly to my scalp and then I would lather with my fingers...well this time around, I decided to incorporate a toothbrush (soft bristle) in my arsenal of cleaning tools while I'm braided up.
.
Same as before: the color applicator bottle holds diluted conditioner which is squirted on scalp, then toothbrush 'scrubs' scalp working a nice lather..all this time my hair is in a loose ponytail (shown in picture below). Then I rinse bottle out, pouring leftover conditioner in the spray bottle and filling applicator bottle with clean water and then I commence squirting again to rinse scalp. I'm not too upset if some of my hair gets wet...its inevitable but having it 'kinda' wet and having it sopping wet are two completely different scenarios. I'll take the former over the latter anyday...especially being in Canada when I don't have the warm air to dry quickly.

note: I'll use the leftovers in the spray bottle later this week when I want to 'spritz' my hair...

The only thing I found there were some areas where my 'rinsing' wasn't done completely and this will add buildup around the root of the braid..so you want to be careful about that...maybe dilute conditioner even more? Mine was kinda thick.

I don't have to worry about actually washing my 'hair' because I'm not afraid of buildup since I'm only using water, Greg Juice by Oyin Handmade and/or Hairveda butter which are all natural (made from natural products) and so my hair should be fine until I decide to actually wash the entire thing!

enjoy the rest of the weekend!

smooches

"Mushiness"

2009-10-30T19:03:00.003-04:00

I'm having a "I love being in love" evening. I guess overall I'm in a good mood because as I was walking home, I was singing and bopping to random songs in my head. I walked in the house realizing that its less than a month that I'll be seeing my hunny again and I guess that set the mood... I started singing this song

This song wasn't used at all for our wedding..and looking back, I wonder why...hmm anyway i love love love it nonetheless and just am so happy and grateful for being a wife to my wonderful husband. yes tooo cheesy. I know.

On a less cheesy but still 'lovey' note, this Monday I received the jewels for that DIY project I mentioned here and just keep looking at them.

They are realllllly small and it just seems overwhleming. Furthermore, it took almost 3 weeks to get delivered here and I just realized that I need to order more 'stuff' in order to make the actual topper. I definitely have to make a decision within the next three days what I'm going to do because my time is running out quickly! The wedding is in 29 days and I can't disappoint

Its not about me!

2009-10-26T08:40:00.004-04:00

"In the midst of it all, God will prove to be your strength....these are the times you realize its not about your well preparation or lack thereof, but that God will prove Himself strong in your life..."

I count myself blessed, not only because of material stuff...but mainly because of the support system I have. I'm surrounded by the most encouraging and sensitive people! Its crazy because the encouragement sometimes comes off rough but its all what i need, when I need.

The quote I opened this post with is from a very dear friend. I was sharing this morning about my current state and tmy reasoning as to why I am such a mess. My theory is because I didn't know what to expect, especially given some last minute unknowns and changes, I wasn't mentally prepared to handle all this thus leaving me in an almost constant state of "overwhelmedness"!

I wanted to share this because there may be someone else who can use this word. Sometimes God allows situations to 'blind sight' us, because it forces us to trust Him and in trusting Him, He can show himself strong. Be encouraged.

Selah!

Not quite done with shopping!

2009-10-25T12:54:00.005-04:00

So remember how I mentioned that I didn't do as well on my previous two assignments...well apparently, I was missing the holy grail of research papers/journal writeups and its this blue book! It's not always been blue...I had one (or shared one with my roomie) when I did this grad school thing 5+ years ago and it was black and not quite as important then as it is now...You see I'm in an APA/CPA (American/Canadian Psychological Association) approved program thus the APA manual is way more useful now... makes sense right? Not sure why I didn't purchase it from the beginning of the semester...

This little bad boy...my new backpack. I searched long and hard for the perfect backpack and although I haven't seen it yet (in real life)- I know I'll be happy. It's a long story behind this purchase but lets just say- I happened to use a backpack this past week and ended up with no shoulder/back pains after walking from school. All along, I've been using regular one shoulder totes to carry my books and have been plagued with body aches. So this is my new "padded straps, multi-compartment with organizer and mesh side pockets for water" backpack that cost a whopping $10 ($20.50 with shipping). Original price- $82!

my boots!!!!!!!! yea, I was like..poo-poo on payless after I started browsing ebay and saw the great selection for much cheaper. Now these probably aren't as functional as the payless pair but they are UBER cute and reasonable ($25 +$8 shipping) so I can live with this. I don't anticipate there being a lot of snow before I leave on the 17th for Christmas break considering the roughest part of winter is usually in January so I'm thinking I should be fine. I will be on the lookout during my travels over the breaks for another pair of boots--one that's more functional (and hopefully just as cute) that withstand walking in slush and ice. I expect it will cost way more cause I'll need real leather, waterproof with some kind of threading/grips on the bottom and I'm hoping that if I wait for after-Christmas I may be able to catch a good sale...If I'm even more lucky, the sidewalks will all be cleared and salted whenever I have to walk to and from school! I do crack myself up..but what's life without some crazy faith!

For good measure, I did throw in one pair of the jeans from Forever 21 that I mentioned in the last post...I only got one since the book took the money I had for the 2nd pair.

All this occurred this late last night and this morning...fun times right?

Happy Sunday!

smooches

I am ready for....

2009-10-22T12:59:00.005-04:00

....winter!

freshly braided

I've done my clothes/shoe shopping and am pretty ready for the snow, ice and wind! Can't say I'm looking forward to either of those three elements but it comes with the territory so no need to grumble, mumble or complain!

Now my 'baby' i.e. my hair also needed to get ready for her first winter in this chemical-free state. When I completed my Undergrad in Minnesota from 2000-2002, I was relaxed and really didn't give two-hoots about my hair. My hair was healthy even though I did whatever I felt to it without rhyme or reason. Now, I'm older, wiser (so I'd like to think) and definitely want to take a more protective approach to my hair since I know the cold can sometimes be a challenge. Since starting this natural routine, I've been conscientious about moisturizers and using them regularly on my hair and of course that's even more important in the dry and cold temperatures.

With wool, fleece and other materials that make up hats, scarves and the insides of hoods for warmth, it's going to be interesting how I keep these kinks all moisturized. I opted to start this winter journey with kinky twists as pictured above. I've had them in before and had an overall 'ok' experience with them. I don't get too excited cause there are some down sides--more annoying aspects of having them in and #1 on that list is I can't wash my hair as often. My hair has already started fuzzing through the braids and its only been one week and no water has even touched my hair yet...the more fuzzier, the more 'older' the braids look and that's not always necessarily cute. Not washing my hair as often also means tolerating an itchy scalp and that's one of my biggest pet peeves...

This particular experience has started crappy because my sides were put in tighter than usual (even though it didn't feel that way when they were getting braided) and up to Wednesday of this week, I still couldn't pull the braids in certain directions without wincing in pain. Furthermore, I've got the little bumps around my hairline. NOT CUTE. I was THIS close to taking them out but I'm gonna hold out a bit. I paid $35 + cost of hair to get this style. Now that isn't anything to 'break the bank' but still enough to motivate me to keep this style until Thanksgiving- when I return home for a wedding. I had actually planned to just get the sides retouched for the wedding and keep the braids until December but our relationship hasn't gotten off to a good start so I'm not too sure about that original plan.

Here I am with them styled...

I'm all ready with Oyin's Greg Juice as a water-based moisturizer and my beloved Hairveda's Whipped Gelly moisturizer. I've got other stuff in the arsenal although not sure if and how those will be included. I've got to get me a color applicator bottle quickly! When I have braids, I usually use those bottles to get the water/conditioner to my scalp for cleansing purposes and that kinda helps to 'keep' the braids because I don't have to actually put water on the entire head of hair.

I'm gonna play around with styles in another couple days once the tightness wears off and I'll have more pics to show!

smooches!

Mid-semester report

2009-10-21T20:26:00.004-04:00

So I haven't given any updates on school in awhile...mainly because there wasn't much to say. I've got a lot of reading and a couple assignments but this semseter is mainly about getting my act together, i.e. getting research ideas together for next semester when I prepare to begin my thesis. The classes we are taking now are all fundamental to this goal...

Well in the past 2 weeks I've handed in 2 assignments and submitted another today and I'm disappointed. In fact, I fought back tears on both occasions that I reviewed my grades because neither were up to my standards...I've always been an "A" student and can literally count on one hand the classes from my undergrad and previous grad experience (together) where I didn't meet this personal challenge.

The tricky part is before this program, my standards were self-inflicted, however, now the stakes are higher simply because I must maintain a 3.5 average and above in order to keep my scholarship(s). Heaven help me if I lose my scholarship because unlike Melanie from The Game- I don't have an NFL player for a boyfriend/husband or even a good friend. (lol)

I have managed to 'calm myself down' in the sense that after looking at the feedback from the dreaded Stats assignment, I really couldn't have done better. I had no experience with the type of question that was given (write up report for a journal article-APA format) and despite asking for clarification of what she was looking for from the professor and actually understanding the material, I floundered when it came to delivering in the format that was expected. Ultimately I lost a lot of points and that sucks because there are only three assignments for the class. This means, for the other two assignments I need to get at minimum a 95% in order to actually get an "A" in this class.

The other assignment...I only lost 3.5 points but when its out of 20 those points are IMPORTANT!

All-in-all, I expect I will do better on the other assignments for these two classes for two reasons. #1. I now know what is expected of me and how the work is being graded and #2. I have a greater 'support network'. After talking with classmates, I was "admonished" that we need to work together more...not "sharing answers" but reading through each other's work to proofread, offer 'fresh eyes' and basically pick up on those small stuff that can lead to lost points.

In the end...I've accepted and moved on. I learned an important lesson a long time ago in undergrad from a friend- and right now, I'm just proud that I'm still on top of my work load and I understand and can apply everything I've read thus far. Because ultimately, when I'm working on that research study, no one will care what grade I got- they want to know that I understand the fundamentals of design, measurement and execution...

smooches!

Great Deals!

2009-10-21T19:25:00.004-04:00

I mentioned earlier in the week that I actually found some good deals when I went shopping. I spent about $200 and walked away with a jacket, 2 sweaters, pair of boots, and a couple shirts for layering. Those were the 'necessities'- I also managed to sneak in some products from Bath & Body Works and couple other odds'n'ends from sale racks in Old Navy.

Columbia Insulated All-Weather Jacket...paid $48 (orig price- $180ish)

mine is a bit different than this one

Old Navy Sweater (I got 2 in different colors) for $15ish..original price was $25.50 (I think)

Sketchers greay suede boots with wedge heel (orig- $80ish; I paid $50)

As usual, I never walk away from a shopping trip without finding something else to buy at the next occasion...here are my two remaining 'must haves' for the winter!

Skinny Jeans from Forever 21 for $12.50

I found these when I was wasting time and window shopping 2 weeks ago during my layover in Ft Lauderdale. I bought a pair then and love them..and now I've found another 3 colors that I must have. I'm thinking serious about ordering online just to make sure I can secure my size at this awesome price! :)

and somehow I still haven't managed to secure these...I'm thinking these will be my winter boots. got nice traction on the bottom, lil 'fur' on the inside and were comfy! leaning toward also purchasing online and just paying for shipping...although I'm waiting to see if the price will decrease by the end of the month!

smooches!

Beautiful Flower

2009-10-20T20:11:00.001-04:00

There is nothing in the world you cannot do when you believe in you...India.Arie

Its Monday!

2009-10-19T08:45:00.004-04:00

I'm "home" trying to warm the house up. The rest of the weekend was fabulous and I really enjoyed myself. I awoke to a surprise on Sunday morning when I looked out the windows and saw a layer of frost/snow on the ground, rooftops and trees. Of course, I thought I was freaking out and rubbed my eyes but I saw clearly the first time. It all melted by the time we left the house and yesterday turned out to be a beautiful day besides the temperature being a bit chilly.

I'm unpacking and getting organized for this week and of course just as I walked in the house I felt the 'loneliness' but today should be busy and I already spoke with the hubby for the morning so that's usually a great pick-me-upper!

I'll have to update later with pics of my new 'hairdo' and shopping details. :)

Something to think on today: "Its not the nature of love to force a relationship but it is the nature of love to open the way." ~ WM Paul Young in "The Shack"

smooches

On my way...

2009-10-17T17:23:00.003-04:00

back to Canada...

It's amazing how discrepant I feel. On one hand, my heart is literally aching because I'm leaving my husband and won't see, touch or feel his touch again for literally another 6 weeks! However, I enrolled in this doctoral program because I have a goal to reach and I'm seriously ready to be back and get in with classes. So I'm actually kinda sorta looking forward to being back and getting in the swing of things...Of course the bridge to join both is the sooner I get back in class, the sooner I can start crossing off weeks that are completed bringing me closer to my ultimate goal of December 17th!!!!!!

I seriously am just trying to roll with the punches and think/be positive. There is a lot I've got to do between now and graduation..whenever the hec that will be (2014 ish), but I'm seriously excited about being in Canada and in this program. I just began to type "my only regret is..." but can one have regrets about a situation if it involves an aspect that's beyond my control? I don't think so. :shrugs:

But if I may- my only regret is that somehow I couldn't make the world respond to my snap and thus provide my husband with an awesome job that he can enjoy and also grow in while paying him something that can make him feel like "the man"! ;)

Oh well...I'll continue to take it one day at a time. Onto a happier note, I have a classmate, who is slowly becoming a friend, who is picking me up and will allow me to crash at her place overnight because she will take me winter-clothes shopping tommorrow! whooo-hoooooooooooooo!

Nothing like some new clothes...and more importantly new shoes to get my spirits up a little bit. So I'm broke and will be trying to buy a million things with a dollar but it's been done before and I promise to return with evidence that I will do it again!

Now its a pity that I have to actually go "winter clothes shopping" when Autumn has barely just begun but apparently I'm a sucker for extremes because I am born and call home to a country that sits in paradise where we enjoy 90 degree weather possibly all year round....and now I've just temporarily set up house in another country that apparently is boasting low 40 degree temps today and proudly maintains such awful temperatures for about 6 months out of the year! I will count my blessings that the snow has not yet made its appearance in my neck of the woods.

Well, its the weekend again...although its almost over, but I encourage you to enjoy the last minutes of it..hec, my new goal is to just try and enjoy everyday...weekend or workday!

smooches!

Back home...

2009-10-10T11:38:00.005-04:00

So I'm back 'home'...and quite happy. I'm enjoying the hubby and the sunshine. I'm also working: on both school work and around the apartment...its amazing the amount of cleaning that need to be done and he's only been here about 10 days! The joys of wife-dom.

Yesterday, my first day here was perfect! We slept in late, ran some errands and then got a popular Bahamian dish for lunch-stew conch. We sat on the beach and enjoyed our food and the perfect weather! I don't have any pictures from yesterday above is a picture of the beach in Savannah Sound, Eleuthera. Below is a picture of the conch shell...the conch (animal/mollusk) lives inside and that is what makes very popular dishes here in the Bahamas as well as around the Caribbean!

picture credited: http://vanishingtattoo.blogspot.com/2008_02_01_archive.html

So enjoy your weekend as I plan to enjoy the rest of mine!

smooches!

Celebrate

2009-10-06T18:48:00.005-04:00

I'm a huge believer in celebrating small victories so this is my lil celebration post...

Today was a good day!

in fact, yesterday and today were both good days. I've always loved the fall season simply because of the beautiful array of colors and today as I walked to school and in between classes, I was able to truly enjoy the season. It was really cool to walk amidst the leaves and actually have the leaves falling about me. There was no wind factor so walking this morning in 45 degrees didn't feel like 20 degrees (yay), i.e. I was actually able to enjoy the brisk walk!

After classes, I had the pleasure of visiting with classmates and enjoying pumpkin pie ---one of my absolute favorites. The day ended with my walk home in the rain....in cloth shoes. Yea, that was icky but I didn't allow that to kill my spirits. I was a bit freaked out since the thunder was rolling but the rain wasn't heavy enough to leave me soaked..just wet shoes and wet feet so I just walked as quickly as my legs would allow and now I'm trying to get warm.

so that's it...the rest of my evening will consist of laundry, marking papers and finishing my essay. All of which need to be completed tonight...

smooches

DIY project

2009-10-04T10:54:00.006-04:00

so its Sunday morning and I'm procrastinating hard!

I've got a small essay to write which is due on Wed and I've got another 30 essays to mark and score also due on Wed..although my personal goal is to complete those today to consult with prof on some plagiarism issues. ugh. yup, I'm the big bad GA. I already spent like 5 hrs on the first 30 essays and seriously just tired of it!

so I'm on the net doing everything except what I should be doing. This includes researching bus routes for Ft Lauderdale since I have a 5hr layover there on Thursday when I travel to go home (whoohooo). I also was able to catch up on some of my favorite blogs...I'm seriously blog addicted...sad. As I'm aimlessly looking through random folders on my laptop, I realized that I really do have a project that I can begin working on in these moments of "not wanting to do school work"!

a very good friend's wedding is in November and I'm returning the favor of being her day-of-coordinator as she was for my wedding last year. Now she is one of those brides who has a varied selection of family and friends who are willing to use their professions/talents as gifts so she literally doesn't need anything major- photographer, cake, dress, decor/flowers, reception site, food, transportation...check check and check!!! good for her right! yup!

so we decided to focus on details and give the basics some 'oomph'. I volunteered to make a monogrammed cake topper. something similar to this...

Now this sounded great when I offered almost 3 months ago but now that I'm car-less and I haven't seen any craft stores within walking distance, this project is seemingly too much...but I refuse to let her down.

so that's what I'm gonna do today- figure out how to work this problem out. luckily for me, I have awesome friends who have done this before so I'll probably be hollering at them for some help!

here she is with me, this is the only picture I have with her...she did an awesome job and was so focused even though she had spent the night with a sick baby!

and here she is getting handsome ready...although this facial expression isn't doing much for his 'handsome-ness'! lol

Enjoy your Sunday

smooches!

not quite Superwoman...

2009-10-03T18:37:00.005-04:00

I'm sure we all can remember Karen White's song: Superwoman. Just sitting here, I can envision myself with the brush or pot spoon or whatever I could substitute as a microphone and singing to the top of my lungs while twisting and snapping my neck (for attitude):

"I'm not your superwoman...oh no no no no. I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that everythings OK. boy I am only human..."

OK so you get the point. :) I thoroughly enjoyed that song and now I'm referencing it at a very low point in my life. No, my husband isn't taking me for granted...in fact, no one is.

Ashamedly, I am taking "me" for granted. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense...But somehow in my head, I thought that I could handle it all. I got stuck on this very messed up thought that I actually do have a big "S" on my chest and my shoulders are made of steel and although I feel emotion (I acknowledge that), I'm still invincible. I'm strong. I'm woman!

well honestly, deep inside I knew that was fraudulent but that's how I wanted the world to see me (and that includes hubby).

well its all crashing down...I can't hold it together, I can't fake "its okay", my shoulders hurt and they are weak and tired and my "S" is faded.

I'm sure this is all the emotional wear and tear of everything that is going on but its quite unnerving. I'm seriously feeling like a wuss...out of control and I hate this!!! ugh.

I'm lonely. I'm scared. and I just wanna go home.

Grad school is all that I expected and more. Honestly, I can handle it...the work load is doable with good planning and time management but I don't think I can do it alone and that's all I feel right now. ALONE. I know its only been 5 days since my husband left but I don't remember another set of 5 days that's been this rough in my adult life. Sure I remember the first time being in the dorm in undergrad after my parents left and how that felt and then 2 years later moving to another state for masters program and being in the house with a stranger and how that felt. Both scenarios held a degree of loneliness and uncertainty about the future but I remember being able to shake that off within a matter of days (if not by the next day).

yes, yes...I know this too shall pass...but maybe its not supposed to pass. Should I have to tackle such a huge project alone? Isn't that why people get married, so they don't have to tackle life's challenges without a partner? How much time should I give this current arrangement before declaring an end...and going back home? will I feel differently after another week alone or maybe a month? Will I get used to not being with the man that I've pledged my heart, soul and body to? Do I want to get used to not being with him? I can deal with a week, a month..but the uncertainty of it all is killing me.

background: Before D left, we had a conversation about this arrangement, since I already started panicking and freaking out...and I was told that I need to get it together because he isn't planning on transitioning here for another 2 years. Do I really have to look forward to two years of physical separation by choice? It certainly was my choice to pursue this doctorate, my dream...not his. so should I just say 'screw it' and head back?

maybe I'm being dramatic..and I hope so. I hope this is a phase...

and no this is NOT a pity party. I don't like those. :) this is just me needing to vent. to get this off my chest...to 'think' aloud. so no need to feel pity for me. I will be OK. I've got a choice to make: stay here and thug it out or go back home. Neither decision better than the next...but in the meantime I acknowledge that God is constantly with me (even in the dark moments) and He is my strength, my peace, my joy. I just need to continue to lean on Him and draw from Him.

I don't know what I'm going to do...well, I do. Here's the plan: I'm definitely here until I complete at least one semester. I know time will heal some of the pain that the loneliness bring and also change in situations will help with the other issues. eg. getting a car will allow me more freedom to move about and socialize, get involved with a church, hang with classmates....have something more than a laptop, t.v. and stationary bike to look forward to 5 days out of the week!

So everyday, I just plan to take it as it comes. yesterday was too tough to handle the entire day, so I took it hour by hour. today was better...I could handle the entire day although the thought of another day alone (tomorrow) makes me depressed again. :shudders: So I've just made 'fun' points throughout my day today that I looked forward to and now I've gatta finish reading within the next hour. my last "treat" for today is a cheesy movie that comes on at 9pm.

smooches!

Father's Love Letter

2009-09-30T08:06:00.002-04:00

From the first time I stumbled upon this love letter almost 8 years ago, I've been touched and just overwhelmed with the pureness of the love I'm receiving...I pulled it up this morning for quiet time and thought I'd share...

Selah

sad day...

2009-09-28T10:08:00.004-04:00

Well I knew it was coming and now its here. I just kissed my hunny goodbye! On a positive note, because of the holidays (thanksgiving) and the University's schedule, I get almost 2 weeks off beginning next week Thursday so I will be flying home for an almost 2 week stay...

but on the other hand the reality that we are now officially a long distance couple AGAIN sucks. like big time. I know its only for a season but I really hope this season doesn't last as long as he's proposing it may. I'll take it semester by semester I guess. and when that gets too hard, I'll have to go week to week....then day by day. I'll be fine.

Overall, I'm truly blessed because tickets are very reasonable (as low as $320 round trip) so with some good planning its not really expensive to come and go..but what about the days and nights in between those rendezvous?

The day is still young and I haven't shed a tear yet and I'm hoping I don't breakdown, I just want to bask in the glow of this month and the fact that he was here being supportive and adding to my reservoir of strength for such a huge move.

Remember me cause I don't know how strong this superwoman is when it comes to being separated from her husband but I'm sure gonna give it a try.

Here we are from our outing Sat night...

smooches!

Hair Porn....

2009-09-24T18:30:00.003-04:00

so hair like this makes me drool...

Afro City...picture was first seen on NewlyNatural...

how many more months until my hair can look like that!!!!!!!!!

goal #1: first chic's hair (l-r). I'm thinking, my fro shown above which was taken today can get to that proportion by my birthday (april)...

what you think????

smooches!

a powerful reminder

2009-09-21T15:11:00.003-04:00

There is nothing you will ever do that will make God love you more than He does right now.
There is nothing that you will ever do that will make God love you less than He does right now.

God’s love is unconditional. It's not based on what you do or don't do.

taken from Purpose Driven Connection

There are certain truths that I like to be reminded of every now and again...keeps me grounded and renews some sense of purpose and even passion to my life---even in the midst of chaos and uncertainty.

The Father's Love.... is one of those truths...for me to fully grasp the extent....

SIMPLY.WOW!

selah

Itchy Scalp?

2009-09-19T19:22:00.005-04:00

What's more annoying right????

My scalp is flaking! ugh. From since I cut my hair in Jan, I haven't had to worry about dry scalp because of the increase in washing and all the oils/products I would put on my hair...however, the air here is much dryer than my beloved humid air of the islands and in under a month, I've got a new issue to address...

Background: Before educating myself on all things hair- I lived by grease because I've always struggled with dry scalp, however, it was usually manageable only really flaring up after a relaxer so I haven't really had to deal with finding a substitute since leaving the creamy crack . I used a light "grease" by KeraCare that made my scalp tingle (loved it) but after using all, I never re-ordered because of the mineral oil...

now my dilemma is even intensified because even after doing research and finding an alternative product (which I haven't done yet), I have 1. no transportation to hunt it down and 2. I require international shipping which is usually in excess of $10 added to a bill, so if I purchased something more natural online, I'll probably be spending an arm and a leg! I'm thinking I'll start with accessible oils...maybe something like coconut oil that usually worked well with my hair (not too heavy) and apply to my scalp a couple times per week...

any suggestions?

Welcome to the family!

2009-09-17T12:33:00.009-04:00

Two cool additions to the Jones' life:

my new 'neighbor'....this little thing just sat and made noises and stared at me as if I was in his 'space'. :)

from my wish list: my beloved stationary bike...although this is more of an elliptical than bike. i snagged it on clearance for $130 (orig: $370). I haven't consistently been on it though...between the walking to/from school and just being plain ole tired (and sick), my energy level has been really low.

and because I'm vain...here I am trying out a wrap...I have it thicker and more 'ethnic' looking..at least that's what I thought. I'm sure if I was home, I would have had more than one reference to being someone's African Queen...

we did go shopping on Thursday and I managed to snag myself a couple blouses and jeans on clearance at Old Navy, a pair of sneakers and 2 other comfy shoes and a couple scarves (even one for my head!)

of course, no shopping event is complete without finding something else to purchase (at the next designated time)...so here's what's new to my wish list..

I'm not sure how I'm gonna pull this one off...its $45 in the States...however in Canada its $75. Now you feel my pain! I walked through the mall and literally only came home with those 7 items mentioned above. Totally unlike me.
smooches!

getting in gear...

2009-09-16T19:15:00.005-04:00

So today marks exactly a week since classes began... and although life has gotten better, its still fairly quick paced and sometimes I'm just all over the place which does nothing to help my sense of getting 'settled'. i.e. randomly encountering headaches throughout the past couple days. I seriously do need to find some relaxation techniques...short and easy so that I don't have to take too much time from reading to do it! any thoughts?

My first unofficial assignment (not class related)... is a scholarship application that's due next Wed. As with most applications, this one requires quite a bit of stuff, including describing a research study proposal that I plan to conduct in the 2010-2011 school year in a concise essay format. Easy right? WRONG. Prior to this week, I have not given much thought to personal research mainly because I wanted to get reaquainted with the principles of research and statistics first. oh well. This is definitely one of those times where my calendar is certainly clashing with the real world's....

Wednesdays at 7pm also marks the beginning of my not-fun-because-i'm-not-allowed-a-social-life long weekend. I don't have class again until Tuesday. Although I'm sure most Wednesday's I'll be in a vegetative state after sitting through classes from 9am - 7pm with only 2.5 hrs break in between. Today in actuality, wasn't that bad and I actualy had a half hour meeting that took away from my 'break'.

The rest of my battles...I've laid to rest. I've gotten over the fact that we don't have a license -insurance-car and won't have any of those elements in place before Friday morning when we turn in the very expensive rental car. So I'll get my heart pumping and blood flowing with a nice brisk walk to and from campus (and anywhere else I need to go). I even had my first test-run on Tuesday. I clocked it in exactly 25mins, however my pace wasn't consistent considering half way through because I started to break a sweat (and that's not cute) and my ankles started hurting (which they normally do when I wear flip flops and do a lot of walking). I anticipate the side effects of walking will be greater since I didn't have any books on my shoulder during this walk...based on classes thus far, I need anywhere from 2 books per class session! So my number one priority right now is to secure myself some good walking shoes...comfort being key. I don't care if they are bright yellow but they need to support me as I walk and not give me blisters etc.

how about these?

NOT.

tommorrow we'll go shopping just because its my last opportunity for a little while and I'll stock up on groceries and hopefully find a pair of sneakers. Of course, since it seems Fall temps are creeping in, I will have to throw in at least one cute scarf and maybe a sweater...

Overall, I really am feeling more positive and mentally in gear to handle this semester now that I know all that is expected from me! Well....I'm out-hopefully I'll get a neck rub from the hubby while I eat dinner.

smooches!

Just a thought....

2009-09-12T16:36:00.004-04:00

I'm trying to be grateful and patient in this time of change and adjustment...I passed this plaque everyday since I moved here and never seen it 'till this morning. This will be my Saturday meditation as I stop and realize that I am living a blessed life!

smooches!

Tag You're It!

2009-09-10T19:55:00.005-04:00

Tag, You're It!

I was recently tagged by a fellow blogger Shaz, who is as awesome in real life as she is in this "internet world"! ;)

The rules:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. List six things that make you happy.
3. Tag six bloggers and let them know they're "it".

6 things that make me happy:

Knowing that there's more to life than what I see (i.e. my eternity is secured)
My husband- just today on one of the crappiest days I've had in a long time, he was just the sweetest, sensitive friend a girl could ask for
My support system (including: blood relatives, church family, friends) I'm blessed!
Fulfilling/Living out my dreams
Traveling and seeing new things/experiencing new cultures
Ice cream

(Never did this 'tagging' thing but here is a list of 6 blogs....)

Agrlcanmac
The Buckeye Bride
Couture Engagements
Siditty Mom
Newly Natural
Natural Hair Natural Products

I wanna scream!

2009-09-10T17:34:00.008-04:00

Life is still helter-skelter in this part of town. The nice thing is the stress isn't school-work related but just getting acquainted to the various aspects of being a graduate student on this campus which just means that once this phase is past, the 'stress' should go to normal. But right now, there are/were orientations and meetings for everything and it seriously has my head swinging.

I know myself and I realize the problem doesn't lie solely in the demands of this week (which will probably flow into next week) but the fact that I don't have enough time and/or energy to adequately organize myself; because in the midst of all the meetings and orientations I'm participating in- are the readings and assignments for class next week that I need to be working on!

And if that isn't enough...I am caught in the midst of a strike! the workers who hold the power to issue/renew drivers' license for drivers in Ontario are on strike. I will never underestimate anyone's role ever again. This little problem has created a huge dilemma for me....We've found a couple reasonable car options which we put offers for and then realize that we need insurance (duh). Then we call the insurance companies and realize we need an Ontario license in order to be insured no. other.options. And no one...and I mean no one has any clue as to when this strike/unrest will be resolved. the last strike occurring in this little city went on to more than 6 weeks...

Where does this leave us? well we are currently in a rental which we just found out will cost us in excess of $500 for this one week and so we can't extend for the next week as we planned because 2 weeks in a rental (a basic Chevy cobalt-v4 engine-no power nothing) will be more than $1k. you've got to be kidding right? nope. dead serious.

The bus doesn't run across my street so I've got to get real acquainted with walking. NOW. the worst part is that I still have to go to school daily for the next week for these same meetings and stuff because normally- I only have to be on campus 3 times a week. I'm more than frustrated now. like seriously...walking is a good 15-20mins and my books are ridiculously heavy. Did I mention I have 2-3 books for each class????????

Can someone please pay those wonderful workers at the driving center so they can process my application, give me an appointment and let me be on my way...After having to wait on them to get back to work- I don't even have the energy to complain about how this silly system is set up and the possibility that I will have to not only take a driving test (yup..think 16years old again) but I will also possibly only be eligible for a provisional drivers license which comes with its own set of limitations.

I need a padded room about 5 x 5 which I can just pummel into the walls and scream without disturbing anyone.

In my state of discouragement, I'm seriously trying to be hopeful...which ended just now when I got off the phone from the insurance company with a tentative quote of $2500.00 for car insurance. I didn't even pay that much when I was a first time driver in my teens with my first car.

I seriously just need to bang my head....

I'm out.

Kinky Curly Curling Custard

2009-09-05T23:32:00.003-04:00

I decided to try the Kinky Curly Curling Custard (KCCC) that the lovely Kendra sent me a sample of and I love it! Its light and creamy in consistency- nothing to thick and grease-like. The smell was refreshing and not to sweet or overpowering.

I used it after a fresh wash on Thursday morning with the leave-in Knot Today that I owned and had never used and now 3 days later my hair still has great definition and even some sheen! The only down side was my hair was a bit more crunchier than I typically like but I'm sure I can remedy that. I also *should* have spritzed it the 3rd morning because its feeling kinda dry especially in the back which may be a result of me not sleeping with a satin cap and on a cotton pillow that night when we were travelling and I couldn't find my stuff.

Anyhoo, Sunday is wash and deep conditioning (DC ) day because I'm gonna be putting in my twists for this first week of school. I still have to figure out this hair care thing as it relates to the fall and winter temperatures....but I've got a number of awesome natural bloggers who probaby will be dropping tips over the next couple weeks!

I don't have any pictures because those that I did take don't really show anything, however, my 'ruler' was my husband who noted that this was the 'curliest' he has ever seen my hair!

Its definitely a product I will be purchasing for myself. I'm thinking there's no real need to purchase it now considering the temps already began dropping thus wash 'n'go may not be the wisest option as fall approaches.

smooches!

guess who's back???

2009-09-05T23:00:00.006-04:00

picture: Ambassador Bridge which links USA (Detroit) to Canada (Windsor).

ok...so I'm here in Canada with hubster and we are safe and sound.

Yesterday was ROUGH. I just wanted to pack up and turn around and head home. I'm not sure what happened but the denial phase was over and the reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks...I fought through. literally fought back tears (hidden from hubby) and just practiced with breathing exercises to try and remain calm and collect.

Today was a much better day and although I'm still feeling "lost" at least I don't feel like I don't belong here. All of my planning paid off and we are up and fully running. No problems with getting anything (utilities) set up and I even have my first bill!

btw: what kinda place is this where I have moved...I had to pull out a sweater today. in September...are you kidding me? LOL. yea I know...its only gonna get worse from here!

smooches!

The Big Move

2009-09-03T10:11:00.001-04:00

that's me and the hubs...except our bags are much bigger....I'll update again when I arrive in Canada!!!!!

smooches!

Throwback Tuesdays

2009-09-01T21:00:00.003-04:00

my mother and I circa 1983

so I went wayyyyyyyyy back. :)

I've been M.I.A. partly because my computer was being upgraded (insert Beyonce's "Let me upgrade you" here) and then when I got it back, I've been crazy distracted just trying to get ready for school.

As I was putting my files back on the hard drive I stumbled over this pic and couldn't stop smiling. If only a Smurfs lunch tin and a uniform was all I needed to be 'ready' for this stage of my academic career!

On a great note: I got an awesome financial gift from a church that I volunteered counseling services to; the check was the exact amount of the cost of books for this semester....PRAISE GOD!

so my books are purchased and I'm feeling more and more loose ends have been tied.

We've got 3 full bags packed- to capacity- and I'm beginning laundry of the last bit of clothes.

The vehicle is fully cleaned/detailed and although there will be a delay in sale (my parents need to use it while their car gets repaired)- I'm feeling better about getting the full amount for it because now there's time to fix a minor problem on it.

So that's me - ready for school... no lunch tin but an awesome leather bag with my name engraved on it. A very cool and unexpected gift from my coworkers.

not quite but very similar to this in two shades of brown:

smooches!

Its so hard to say goodbye...

2009-08-28T12:55:00.005-04:00

or is it?

this is my desk. cleaned and empty and ready for its new resident. I walked out of the cubicle/office I called 'mine' for the past 4.5 years and felt nothing. No sadness, no regrets...which is rather shocking because I'm such an emotional person. I can't remember ever walking away from something without that feeling. I've come to believe and accept that my season for that job is over. And I'm very happy that I am able to move on with an undeniable peace and graciousness.

There were tons of lessons learned. A wealth of experience gained. Lots of people I've come to love just like family and memories that I can reflect upon in the upcoming possibly lonely days of the new chapter....

This, by the way is how the new chapter will look...here is our new 'home' beginning a week from today!

Enjoy your weekend...I surely will!

smooches!

Bad Hair Day...

2009-08-27T17:38:00.007-04:00

So I gave flat twists another try. Not sure why, but I wanted something different to do with my hair today and I didn't feel like washing and dealing with soaking wet hair in the morning. So after reading another blog and participating in a online discussion where flat twists came into discussion both times...I decided to revisit this style.

Here is how it looked last night:

I wet my hair lightly. Went in shower and allowed slow water stream to run, primarily wetting ends so that I could detangle and comb my hair without pulling any hair out. I was careful to not get the hair soaked because I knew it wouldn't dry by the morning. I used Shea Moisture Shea Butter leave-in, applied to my entire hair and divided into sections for the twisting...

Here is what I ended up with this morning. I was like ehhh. It wasn't bad but it wasn't quite what I wanted. Granted, there were some areas that had awesome definition and I WILL be trying this again in another couple months but I think between my length and the humidity, my hair quickly lost a lot of the definition and just puffed up in little pods. I tried to do a lil something with it and called it a day.

I kinda wish I didn't pull it back- but I needed to tame it a bit for the office. With me joining the world of being a full-time student, now I can rock more of the un-tamed styles...

My husband DID NOT LIKE IT! He literally exclaimed "Your hair looks stink!" (another Bahamian colloquialism which should be pretty self-explanatory). I guess this natural journey has really strengthened my backbone because a year ago a comment like that from someone, especially the love of my life, I would have burst into tears but I shrugged it off, looked in the mirror to make sure I was ok with what I saw, then packed my bag to leave for my last day at work.

btw: He did call me later to apologize for being so harsh.

I'm sure it could have been worse....:shrugs:

smooches!

She's beauty and she's grace...

2009-08-25T22:05:00.007-04:00

she's Miss Universe!!!!!

so the picture quality sucks but that's a whole 'nother story. When randomly discussing the pageant, before I even knew I was going, I was told (false assumption) that guests wouldn't be able to take their cameras inside so I left mine in the car only to discover that we (audience) were actually encouraged to take pictures, make noise, etc... oh well!

So in a fit of desperation - I can't go to Miss Universe and not have pictures to show off...I took these with my crappy Motorola SLVR...yea. no zoom. no flash. just hold my hand really really steady and take pictures.

The most exciting part of all this wasn't the dressing up, nor being at a live show..but the fact that we were in Section 3, to the right (and only 5 rows) behind the BIG DON! yup. I could see that famous toupee from where I sat, without even stretching my neck. :giggle: OK. so I could also see the runway and everything that went on also! There were a couple times the camera turned our direction and I pretended to be thoroughly enjoying myself (big smile plastered on my face) as I sat upright to stand out in the crowd...but according to my hubby (who sat home and watched looking for his wife), I apparently never made it on t.v.! All great fun though!

So here I am...before the event as I modeled for my hubby...he has to make sure I'm 'fixed' before I leave the house. lol. Because it was last minute, I kept the braids I started on Sunday and used a spray bottle with water to wet it so that I could have more definition. Well that didn't work, even after being under the dryer for 15mins, my hair was soaked and it was 5:15pm. I needed to be ready for 5:45-6:00pm. So I jumped in shower, cowashed and then left the conditioner (Herbal Essences Hello Hydration) in my hair. I scrunched dry with a towel, tied head band and was ready to goooooooooooooooooo.

smooches!

Destiny demands Dilligence

2009-08-25T16:08:00.007-04:00

"Persistent people never take no for an answer when it comes to their visions."

Dr. Munroe goes on to explain...

"Many people lose because they quit when life says no the first time, but persistent people win. They never take no for an answer when it comes to their visions."

~ taken from The Principles and Power of Vision by Dr. Myles Munroe

Even though you may be going through a season of tests, dryness or confusion: keep on knocking...keep on pushing...keep on pursuing until you get to your goal.

I know I am!

smooches!

Lessons learned...

2009-08-23T14:15:00.007-04:00

Look at that fro! Never again will I underestimate the time, energy and skill it takes to sport a tight fro. Here is mine as I went to church last night.... and I thought it was a hot mess because everytime I looked in the mirror at the back, I saw that it wasn't.....well fixed. It wasn't even or clean all around.

Well this post isn't all about fros...its the lessons learned, the things I never realized about natural hair or caring for natural hair until recently. Its those things that probably makes most of our childhood experiences quite...hmmm unpleasurable when we think of our hair experiences 'before-relaxer' days!

What I learned:

I should NEVER comb my hair dry....that is unless it was already detangled and not sitting for any long periods of time. i.e. even this morning as I attempted to braid up my hair, I had to part into sections and then using my spray bottle damp my hair before trying to comb through (and detangle again) before attempting the braids. Why is this? well first of all, despite popular belief my hair is curly..its just the curls are uber small and thus they get tangled very very easily. So its not a matter of hard vs. soft hair...(any hair can be soft if its properly moisturized), its just that us black women with 4b (coily/springy/cottony/kinky texture) has to be more careful about how and when we try to rake a comb especially a :gasp: fine-tooth comb through these tresses. So to create my fro style, I also damp my hair with a spray bottle before using the handy dandy afro-pik!

I should NEVER try to run the comb through my hair from root to tip. Now this may sound like a given, but I can't tell you how many times, even when my hair was relaxed and I had new growth that I would try this method. Its just not the method of combing for anyone whose hair has texture. Its definitely better to begin at the tip and work backward to the root.

I should NEVER try to comb my hair all at once. Another 'given' but I've done it and seen others attempt also. Now most times, we attempt with a wide tooth comb but even that can be detrimental i.e. pulling out hair unnecessarily. its best to divide and conquer. the smaller the better. The exception may be trying to create the aforementioned fro. But by the time, I'm creating the fro, my hair is already detangled and the divide and conquer session was already done.

I don't need to comb my hair. Now this is not me being nasty or any other derrogatory term we use for people who don't comb their hair. Becuase my hair is still under 10 inches long, my fingers are excellent detanglers. Furthermore, now that I'm natural, not every style I need a comb for. I remember the first 3-4 months after I cut, my hair never met a comb unless I was experimenting with a style at home.

Water is my friend! I was the queen of washing my hair ONCE per month. If it was a good month, maybe twice...but never more than that. Somehow I became to believe that washing my hair was of the devil. Well, its not the washing or the water that could be bad- its the ingredients in certain shampoos. So now I wash my hair whenever I please (once, twice or every day per week) but very rarely do I use shampoo and if I do use shampoo, its a sulfate-free product and I alwasy follow up with a conditioner. When I wash without shampoo, I use conditioner (any old cheap one I can find) and I use that to lather/scrub my scalp. who knew huh?

Water is my friend! no, this is not a mistake, I meant typing that twice. not only is water helpful for cleansing purposes but water is moisture. Moisture = happy, healthy and soft manageable hair. I also prefer how my hair looks when its moisturized. It has more definition (i.e. curl pattern), more sheen (cause my hair doesn't shine naturally) and like I said...I just like how it looks.

Everything that claims to be a moisturizer -isn't. Now there are some technical parts of this explanation that I don't feel quite fit to explain but let me say this. Stuff like grease, pink oil moisturizer that contains either mineral oil or petroleum only sits on the top of the hair shaft and makes it feel greasy. But this isn't beneficial to the actual hair. :shrugs shoulders: I've chosen to just avoid these ingredients whenever possible and try to use products that are water-based and ingredients like shea butter, aloe vera gel and some natural oils (coconut, safflower, olive, tea tree etc...) in attempts at moisturizing in my hair.

That's all I can think of right now! and besides, I have to go get ready. I just got offered a FREE ticket to the Miss Universe Pageant being held in t-4 hours. As I mentioned, I actually braided my hair because we (hubby and I) were supposed to go to the beach, now I have to find a dress, hope that the braids make a cute, well-defined braid out and just get all purty for this event! woohooo

smooches!

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

2009-08-22T15:25:00.006-04:00

Last night, I attended a get-together hosted by my Pastors (pictured above) at Hard Rock Cafe to say "see you later".

I recently became a part of a new ministry birthed from an already existing ministry in Lakeland, FL. This lovely couple is not only my spiritual leaders but also friends and the parents of our (Dayton and I) beautiful and feisty god-daughter, Micah. I respect, look up to and love them a whole bunch. I love their vision for our church and I cannot wait to see how the ministry develops over the years. I try to avoid using the term 'church' because for me its so...so...hmmm used. Its taken for granted. Yes, we, the people, are the church, but when I refer to church I sadly think of a building, so I prefer to refer to TLC as a ministry...which is simply: us [the members] coming together to support, uplift and encourage each other while being used by God to glorify His name and fulfill His purpose for our lives (corporately and individually) daily!

So last night, we ate, laughed, poked fun, sung and even danced with the Karaoke at Hard Rock Cafe and had ourselves a blast! Here is Miss Micah. She's brilliant, adorable and a dancer. A two-year-old after my own heart. Here she is posing for the camera because we just put on our lip gloss and was officially ready to begin our night!

so my first of a couple 'goodbye' dates. I'm looking forward to spending time with special people in my life although its kinda sad since I'll be leaving for lil while.

smooches!

Check Check and Check!

2009-08-20T10:58:00.004-04:00

Ain't that sweet!

Obviously my list wasn't as short as Spongebob's above, but I'm definitely where he is at---I think I have nothing left to do!

I am on the ball and rolling!

What is done:

Electricity and water utilities set up (7/25/09)

Gas set up (needed for heater and stove) (8/18/09)

Cable and Internet set up (8/19/09)

Confirmed date of move in with landlord

Only thing left to do is get on the plane and move in...well that's from the Canada side. Tying up loose ends here...I still have to:

Sell my car

Pack up the apartment

Get the US Visa (appt already confirmed)

and I think that's it...Hubby already suggested that I not make selling the car a requirement before we leave. He knows me well. I am obsessive. So I have adjusted my thinking and its my hope to have the car sold but I accept its a chance it may not happen in time.

All-in-all, I love getting things done. I'm a list maker, a list keeper and an overachiever by heart so NOTHING brings me greater pleasure than right now that I can lean back in my chair and go over the mental list and realize that we are well on our way!!!!

smooches!

You Were Born to Rule!

2009-08-19T09:09:00.004-04:00

This song has ministered to me over and over in the past week. I find myself just singing pieces of it...when I really think about the words of this song I can't help but smile.

Who am I to worry about...finances, job situations, anything?! I'm a joint heir to the kingdom and with that status comes many opportunities and blessings. The King of King lives in me. I am royalty!

sooo with that said- I speak life to you. To that situation you may be struggling with. To the fear, discouragement, to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy...to broken relationships and most especially to those dreams deferred and fighting to come to life!

YOU WERE BORN TO RULE!

smooches

MUDDASICK

2009-08-18T13:54:00.008-04:00

OMGosh......... I can barely believe it. In 15 days, I'll be in Canada and another chapter in my life would have begun...

....and I'm seriously ready to take on the world!!!

photocredits: post-wedding photo shoot with Mr. Andrew L. Newton, Nassau, Bah.

My husband called just as I began typing this and his sentiments were similiar to my gasp...he merely said one word that summed up a whole lot of emotions:

"Muddasick!"

which for those of you non-Bahamian readers is local colloquialism which is usually used in those "wow" or "unbelievable" moments we experience in life. It's connation can either be positive or negative but is usually just an expression. I have no clue where it came from or even how it came about, but it relays the message clearly!

side note: I was looking for images to go along with this post and came across the cutest, most adorable little girl and her facial expression very literally echoed mine when I realized how little time I have left...I'm assuming because of privacy rights I can't post the image here...but here is the link.

smooches!

Summer cleaning!

2009-08-15T17:29:00.004-04:00

Words cannot explain this MESS...in our spare room

but I will try to explain the mess so ya'll don't think I'm a natural slob. In fact, my husband often likens me to the USA character Adrian Monk because I tend to be obsessive about many things including cleanliness. The first pic shows my husbands work of art...his clothes: shirts, pants and ties (not sure if they are clean or dirty/whether they fit or need to give away) but they are all over the floor. The closet with our bags/unused stuff kinda got out of control over the past year as I never really go there to 'organize'. and finally my books, just kinda shrewn in their lil corner. :sigh: BIG MESS

2nd pic...is all me. My suitcases to start packing and the winter clothes that I took down to put in those suitcases. You can also see my lovely ab-roller. love this thing. and actually this room is my exercise haven. the fan is sitting in the middle of the floor because my stationary bike is usually there...along the other wall (not shown) are my free weights. ;)

AFTER about 3 hours with my IPod...

What you can't see:

1. the alphabetized DVD collection in the large container

2. winter clothes packed in the suitcase, weighed (to ensure its under 50 lbs) and ready to goooo

3. 'extra' stuff including books, clothes and other random things put in various bags for donations

4. (2nd pic) shoes and clothes put in a place that won't make the room look junky

5. the 2 large suitcases along the wall: one will be taken with me and already is packed. only waiting to launder linens before that bag is complete. the other bag will stay here in my mother-in-law's house with 'stuff' that we don't need to carry but aren't throwing away/donating.

so that was my Saturday. I'm off to wash out my deep conditioner...what did you do today?

Enjoy the rest of the weekend....smooches!

Selah

2009-08-12T15:22:00.007-04:00

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.

Now put foundations under them. ~Henry David Thoreau

I've got a ton of dreams...or "castles in the air" but they need a foundation. My pursuit of this doctorate is both a castle and a foundation for some other castles. It's easy to dream, but when it comes time to do the work and sacrifice needed to put those dreams in motion it gets a bit harder.

Things aren't how I imagined or planned they should be with only 27 days before classes start and I know this is all a part of process...that will make me a better and more patient person with greater but I can't help to worry even though I know better. I was just reminded that worry is a burden God never intended us to bear....if only for today, for this moment, I will walk away from worry and continue to work toward putting a foundation under my castles!

smooches!

Fears: Allayed or Increased?

2009-08-12T14:33:00.011-04:00

"So, I am left to give you some advice that sounds reasonable, though is totally made up. First, it will be useful for you to bring your undergraduate statistics text with you when you arrive in the Fall. It is often times still warm here in September, thus these textbooks can be used to prop open windows or doors to promote good ventilation. Additionally, I think it is useful to brush up on some basic concepts and vocabulary, such as measures of central tendency, variability and relationship (eg correlations). In addition, it is helpful to re-familiarize yourself with the concepts of hypothesis testing, probability and type 1 error. While we will review many of these concepts, the review will be short and chaotic so it will behoove you to take some it on yourself."

This quote is taken from the introductory letter addressed to all incoming grad students preparing to take the Statistics class. The first 2 paragraphs before this were quite humorous and relaxing as was a bit of this blurb...In actuality my professor sounds like a cool dude who has a sense of humour - my guard will not be lowered until after the first week!

btw: I did buy the extra Stats text that was suggested by my mentor AND I'm pecking along with my review but I'm still waiting on ...

the proverbial light to go on, signifying that I actually understand this topic of variability! Any math or statistics gurus out there? I can use some help making sense of this stuff.

Oh! The first installment of my scholarship was paid so my balance is lower...makes me breathe a little easier.

smooches!

Meet the Family!

2009-08-11T10:26:00.006-04:00

Here are a couple pics from my brother's wedding this past weekend 8/8/09. As I mentioned, I worked hard but it was for a worthy cause...I would go to the ends of the earth for my family. We just that tight.

the crazy lady/day-of-coordinator, taking a moment...literally one second (I had already started walking) to pose for the camera!

the family! I have two immediate families. The people here are the ones who I shared the same roof with from my early teens until I left for college. We are the modern day Brady Bunch except we put a lil island twist on it. l-r: Ashlee (little sister), Keith (step-dad), Me, Vernard (groom/little brother), Deann (his beautiful bride), Cindy (mommy), Brently (older brother). front row: l-r Keith Jr (little brother) and finally the diva Keiani (little sister).

me still working...trying to make sure those pics are perfect!

and finally, the lovely couple!

smooches!

UGH

2009-08-10T17:48:00.004-04:00

Last week, amidst the regular weekly events and baby steps toward getting ready for this big move, I also helped my brother get ready for his wedding. The work really kicked in on the day of...and although I wasn't hired to be a day-of coordinator, I played the mess out of that role! (if I can toot my own horn) of course, as with most weddings, there were fires and I busted my butt, to put them out before we needed the firefighters. So that was my Sat and I spent Sunday trying to recuperate!

So an update...I booked our tickets.....AGAIN. yes. I made a booboo and waited too long to contact the US Embassy about getting a new VISA so when I finally got around to call the earliest appointment was the day before my scheduled departure. cutting it close...yup- a bit too close, considering my passport is kept by them until the following afternoon because of course, the VISA is printed in the passport. my flight on Thursday the 4th is/was scheduled for 1pm and I was told to expect my passport to be ready between the hours of 2-4pm (on the 4th). Obviously not.gonna.work

So I had one sleepless night-literally-where I weighed my options and realized its better for me to change the flight and pay whatever difference and get my VISA now, rather than run any risks when I arrive in Canada. I don't need a US VISA for Canada, but if I want to travel anywhere in the USA from Canada, I'll need a VISA. Its a long story, but a quick summary: I got married last year. Changed my name legally. Got a new passport to reflect the new name. VISA in old passport which is now cancelled. There is a CHANCE that since the VISA is not expired that I can travel on it with sufficient documents however, I've travelled enough to know, I don't ever want to depend on chance...so apply and pay for a new VISA is the best option for my current situation.

So yea. both tickets, for hubster and myself, are booked. woot!

I'm losing a dying battle to review for Stats. Didn't pick up the book for more than 10 mins in the past week and a half and its because most of the words/symbols look like French to me. I have never studied French, never went to a French-speaking country and the only word I know in French is goodbye, which I can't even spell so that's why I just said it in English. LOL but seriously, I need someone to help break it down for me, if I'm going to understand it or a book that's more user-friendly. I spoke with my buddy and she suggested a book that helped her, in fact, she's still using it as she writes her Masters' thesis. I checked out the book and I'm definitely interested in giving it a try but its more than $40 and honestly, $40 on a book that's not a required text is a bit of a luxury....although, paying $40 on a book which could possibly help me be prepared for an advanced statistics class may be priceless...:shrugs: we'll see what I decide to do!

The scholarship response I was not waiting for (but still secretly waiting for)---well it seems like that may be cancelled, for everyone. So my new goal is to find at minimum $2k that I can pay directly on the tuition. I do have a graduate assistantship and a school-based scholarship that covers the cost of tuition but its not all given up front and I would prefer to have it covered before classes start; not a must but a wish.

and then...last but probably the most important...I'm beginning to have minor panic attacks. nothing major, but increased heart rate, stomach flutters etc. It's fleeting and usually only come one when I'm talking to someone about the move or when I begin to think about the dreaded Sept 28th date. Remember I mentioned purchasing tickets, well mine was a one-way, but my husband's ticket's return date is for 9/28 and I swear I was two steps from an all out crying fest yesterday as I cooked and thought about it.

I'll share some pics tomorrow from the wedding this weekend.

smooches!

Selah

2009-08-05T09:04:00.009-04:00

means "think on these things"...

Without going through the crap of life i.e. "process", character cannot be formed in us... and if we lack character, how can we successfully move through life? It's through character that we can fully operate in fulfilling our God-given purpose! (drawn and rephrased from The Principles and Power of Vision by Dr. Myles Munroe).

my wish is that I could live in this....

or even this?

ALL. THE. TIME....

and screw process! ;)

first pic: Savannah Sound beach, Eleuthera Bahamas; second pic: Ten Bay, Eleuthera Bahamas

smooches!

been M.I.A.

2009-08-04T12:38:00.005-04:00

I took off for two days and visited the beautiful island of Eleuthera, Bahamas. the first day I spent with the family where we all (6 adults; 4 teens; 2 children & 2 babies ) were huddled in a 2 bd/1bth house. yes I said 2 bedroom house and think cottage more than house. In retrospect, I really wish I took pics of the sleeping arrangements because we actually had a mattress laid out in the kitchen on one night!! The house reminded me of stories/movies I've heard about showing the plight of immigrants in a new country.

All-in-all, it was seriously FUN! I think each of us appreciated the freedom and quietness of the settlement in our own way. My grandmother, aunt and mom found solace on an old wooden bench under a massive tree. The teens and kids (except babies) literally lived on the beach and are now about 3 shades darker...and I, well I enjoyed a little of everything.

Eleuthera, is literally a 15 min flight from Nassau and is my 2nd home. My mom and her siblings were all born and raised there (early years) in the small settlement of Hatchet Bay. I hope to live there one day...before retirement. In fact, my dream to start a residential treatment facility for emotionally distressed adolescent girls will be housed on this island. Its quiet, gorgeous and close enough to Nassau and S Florida for me to get the 'city' life when necessary! I visit at least once per year- usually for work related stuff but from time to time, DH and I get there for small weekend getaways.

Back to this trip: I love bonding with my cousins...especially when they are younger and I'm still 'fun'. By the time they get to the tweens (9-12) - I'm no longer interesting and of course the teen years are worse because I'm simply unrelate-able (if that's a word). So, the highlight of the family times was my playing with my 17- and 7- month male cousins. here I am 'bonding' with the elder of the 2 babies present. He is an active, curious and sharp little onewho developed a certain fascination with my camera ;)

smooches!

Leave in...or give away?

2009-07-30T15:17:00.010-04:00

Since I can remember, I've always tried to incorporate Leave-In conditioners in my routine. during my relaxed days, I used Leave-Ins primarily after a relaxer but I also used them as "setting lotion" for roller sets. however, I wasn't consistent with this, nor did I find it mandatory in my hair care regimen...

When I began transitioning and learned about the importance of moisture, I realized that Leave-In's are a good way to moisturize after washing and I began my search for the "perfect" Leave-in! Here are some that I've stumbled over in my search.

*Note: all are at or below $10 which suffices that very frugal quality I possess.

Infusium

It was good for relaxed and the earlier stages of my transitioning hair but it was too watery . Too light for these thick tresses. Definitely a give away

Giovanni Direct Leave-In

I mentioned it here , but I wanted to still include in this list. It is creamy and light and works well with pretty much all of the products I've used thus far. i use after every wash except for instances where I'm preparing for a twist/braid-out and plan on using the Shea Moisture Leave-In that I will discuss later. it can be used with this but it would probably be overkill...it has a very light 'hold' for wash''go styles but it's usually not enough for my hair, which is why it's usually the base for my styles (with another product). It's my "don't leave home without it" product. My first leave in!

**I wanted to define my wash'n'go- which is the style where I don't do anything with my hair after washing (except putting in some product). so my hair takes it natural curly/coily form without combs, braiding, twisting or any other kind of styling/manipulation. I usually just put a headband on and leave the house with wet hair allowing it to dry as the day progress and just do whatever it wants.

Cantu Shea Butter Leave-in Conditioning Repair cream

Oh my goodness...this smells delightful. I really really really wanted to like this. side note: I'm apart of Long Hair Care Forum and the ladies on this swear by this product...For me, the product "worked". It left my hair uber soft and I used it to put in twists for a twist-out and the definition was good...but my scalp itched like crazy. At one point, I thought I had sores in my head...and (un)luckily for me, I was on a work-related trip and didn't have access to my mini beauty supply store that's in my cupboards at home. It was a sad day.

But I'm a trooper, so I washed my hair that night and tried it AGAIN. Yes, because I had to make sure that it was this and nothing else that I may have used. I think I left some conditioner in it the first time. Second trial, same results, soft hair with good definition...and an itchy scalp - although not as intense itching this trial.

Sooooo I sniffed it one last time and closed the lid. forever. My aunt was the lucky recipient of a full bottle of this. I'm guessing she liked ti because I never got any complaints from her. Category: give away

Honey Hemp Conditioner by Oyin Handmade

Let me start by saying...I just love this product line. They were the first set of 'natural' hair care products that I tried and did not fail me. Of course, all their products weren't the best for MY hair but I do have a staple from them as I mentioned here. Anyhoo, I won't be giving this up anytime soon. This conditioner is multipurpose as a conditioner, deep conditioner and leave-in. I usually use this as off of the above but since I'm discussing Leave-Ins, I'll stay focused. I use this when I'm sporting the wash'n'go. I have used this conditioner alone and I've used with another product and this faithfully has done what it claims to do. This is another Leave-In with a light hold but still a keeper. Definitely a leave in!

Shea Moisture Shea Butter Leave-In

The first thing that stood out was the smell - which is still growing on me. It's a touch too sweet for my liking but I can't deny the quality of product this is. This is fairly new to my arsenal of goodies, however there is a space in my heart for it. The consistency of it is THICK. Like pudding kinda thick but it leaves my hair soft and feeling moisturized without greasy residue and works lovely for my twist-outs giving me great definition. The downside is my hair takes long to dry by itself and when this is in it---woooooh, the drying time literally doubles. I *think* I may be applying too liberally but as time passes and I continue to use, I'll definitely perfect this! Another leave in!

I also own a brand new bottle of Kinky Curly Knot Today which is another Leave-In conditioner but I have yet to use it. I'm saving it for when I finally purchase the Curly Custard which is the suggested product to go with it. I probably won't be purchasing anytime soon considering expenses associated with the move, I'm on hiatus from hair shopping (well I'll purchase basics that I need daily but no experimental products) until I get financially settled (around October). Also, the Curly Custard is used for wash'n'go styles and Canada actually has seasons so soon as the temperature begins to cool, I plan to start hiding my hair..well more specifically my ends because of the high chance of breakage from my hair drying out quickly. Twists, buns and ponytails will be staples until I see warmer weather again.

there are a couple other products that I use, which can also be used as Leave-Ins but I can't fairly comment on them in this capacity. look out for the next type of product reviews...deep conditioners!

smooches

supa dupa big check

2009-07-30T11:26:00.006-04:00

so I don't know if this wordless wednesday thing is gonna work for me, because when I'm comfortable, I talk A LOT and since this is my little spot, I'm quite comfortable and always have something to write about!
...I should add that the pic with me hugging the tree in "silly Gia" fashion was quite expressive of how giddy I felt yesterday when I ......

PURCHASED MY TICKET!!!!

So I am a confirmed passenger on the flight leaving Nassau to Canada on September 3rd.

A great supa dupa big check in my preparations for this project: Operation Grad School. can you tell I'm excited??? I'm also very very grateful to have found a great deal and have this important step done!!!

Now if I can only get my husband to book his while the prices are still fairly reasonable. and in true bargain shopper fashion, I snagged the one-way ticket at the lowest I've seen since I began the search!!!!

enjoy this THANKFUL thursday! smooches

Good Hair, bad hair debate

2009-07-30T10:19:00.003-04:00

I’ve been a product of the brainwashing regarding what constitutes as good and bad hair. And with this, came me not liking my natural hair because its curl pattern is very tight (more coily than curly) and thus I’ve rejected my hair for a lot of my life. About a year ago, despite me having “bad hair” as my husband reminded me every opportunity he got – I decided I wanted to be natural and it was my final answer. With this decision, came a lot of research and ‘studying’ and it was at this point that I was enlightened. How blasphemous of us to call something bad; especially when this “thing” is apart of our body…a body that God created. A creation that was deemed “good” by God from the beginning of time. Of course this stems from slavery and pop culture moreso than a rejection of God’s creation but it’s wrong nonetheless!

Now that may be a lil deep for the average person, but this did leaps and bounds for my self-esteem and the way I looked at myself, my hair and ultimately what I see as beautiful! Yes, my hair may take longer to comb and thus be more difficult to manage. Yes, its prone to dryness and doesn’t naturally shine. Yes, it grows big (fro) rather than hanging down, thus looking “short” even when there may be some length. But its mine...long or short, curly or straight. I was born with it and I cannot deny that it’s beautiful, because it’s apart of me and I’m beautiful. I have the right to choose to include chemicals (relaxer, permanent colors) to my hair when I want to but I know that this does not make me beautiful. What it does do is give me a different look and possibly enhance various aspects of my facial features but that’s pretty much the extent of it.

My goal was to then learn the correct product and styles that will compliment my coily, dry, thick hair. And that’s what I’ve been doing…obsessively!!!

So to my surprise and annoyance, I’ve been getting comments about having “good hair” since I cut my hair. Why? Because my hair looks good. And it looks good, because I’ve invested in learning about proper hair care techniques, various styles, and complimentary products that will moisturize my hair and on rare occasion, give it lil bit of sheen (cause it will NEVER shine)

I don’t ‘correct’ the individuals because it’s a moot point and unless they are open to it, will only hear me but probably won’t “get” what I’m saying. So I just give a tense smile and keep it moving (K.I.M.).

I do proselytize anyone who listens though only when they bring up the topic, sincerely, I try to share a bit of what I learned so that others can be enlightened as I was.

Ok..i’m off my soapbox. Although I do hope that people would lay off of this debate…(in my dreams!)

my growing fro last month

smooches!

Wordless Wednesday...

2009-07-29T11:40:00.008-04:00

photo courtesy of Monika Lee Photography

DIY..how to

2009-07-28T14:26:00.009-04:00

I got a couple questions on how I made the headbands...as I mentioned here , this was a very haphazard project so there wasn't a lot of thought put into it.

the more basic headbands, I needed ribbon, flower and needle/thread. My instinct was to get the regular satin or grosgrain ribbon that we are familiar with because it is used to decorate our little girls' hair...

the model is my "neice" whose mom does not let her leave the house without matching ribbons. As you can see, she was missing her two front teeth at this event...:)

ok I digressed...anyway upon visiting the fabric store, I decided to get a little more adventurous and found various textures of ribbon, that were on sale, and decided to use those to give the headpieces more 'spunk' than the regular ribbon. the flowers ( like this) were on sale, probably because they dropped off a larger 'bud' for 50 cents each.

I then chose where on my head I would prefer to wear the ribbon and marked that place by tacting the flower there. now most flowers come with a center piece that's made of very sturdy green plastic. This can be easily removed without disturbing the shape of the flower. so I took this 'stem' apart and gently removed it. (there was a bulb at the very top center in the flower and once that was taken off, the stem could be moved). Matched the color flower with thread and sew the flower to the ribbon. voila. easy peesy. by the way, if I could do it---its easy. lol

the white flower got the most request and this was a bit different because a pre-cut ribbon was used to create the 'flower'.

if you look closely you can see there is a lining on one edge of the ribbon and a thread in there. carefully pull the thread and the 'petals' get closer together. we ended up popping one part of the thread so if you were to find this type of special ribbon/fabric be very careful.

once I got the shape of the flower that I wanted.

I sewed the base of the petals together to create an independent flower. then the flower was sewn to the ribbon the same way the previous 2 were described.

note: I did a quick google search online for various types of ribbons and although I found similiar accesories/ribbons that looked like my end product (chiffon flower), none of them came flat and 'not put together' like my ribbon was. the sales associate in the store here mentioned this was a special order that will not be replenished because it wasn't selling well. I wonder if I was to buy a couple yards and make these little headbands, if I can get a couple sales.

.. things that make you go hmmmm

(sorry pic is so dark...can't get it lightened)

well that was that. I cannot wait to get my hands on some more random pieces, plastic headbands, more ribbon, different kinds/shapes of flowers and feathers to create more accessories. I'm sooo excited especially since I can create a one-of-a-kind piece for under $2 when my other option was to purchase at Forever 21 for about $5-10 or of course check out the wonderful world of Etsy and probably pay $20... (I did actually purchase a couple of the cheaper pieces online)

smooches!

we've only just begun...

2009-07-26T18:56:00.004-04:00

to get acquainted. Here are some of my notes from the 1st week of review; this is not my actual textbook but an old undergrad text... I'm getting the feeling my goal (5 hrs per week) may be a teensy bit too ambitious...we'll see!

travel

2009-07-24T14:28:00.003-04:00

How is it, that I can get a price quote for airfare at 7:50pm, come back at 9:00pm that same day and the price has increased by nearly $200!!! ugh

I'm still watching the airfare (its been almost 5 days)...considering I saw that fares can be as low as $450, I refuse to pay more than $500...I will hunt and hunt and hunt until I succeed.

wish me luck!!!

smooches

my fave 5

2009-07-23T19:12:00.014-04:00

We don't have T-mobile services here but our cable/satellite are all primarily US programming (+ some Canadian stations + british news) and I remember watching the commercials a couple years ago [was it really that long ago?] and thinking how cool the idea of having unlimited access to 5 phone numbers...anyway this isn't a T-mobile commercial but as it relates to hair, I have 5 favorite things that I can't do without...

2 strand twists (without extensions)

My staple style now. Its perfect because it serves as a protective style because my ends are not all open and exposed to the elements and its easy to go. as my hair continues to grow, I can do more and more with my hair actually in the twists...eg I can wear pony's, updo's or with pins/hair clips create anything. here is an example of how they look freshly completed, you can see a more accurate length of my hair here (6 months after the cut)

and then the same style but after my hair drys and shrinkage kicks in (excuse how I look..)

Hairveda's whipped gelly

:blissful sigh: I lurv this stuff. Literally stumbled over it with no recommendation from anyone or any blog but hairveda had a sale and this was what was being offered. I, being a frugal product junkie (PJ) that I am, jumped on this and tried it once, twice, thrice...and won't turn back.ever! [disclaimer: I have seriously only used it with my twists...I have yet to see how it works with overall definition or for laying down hair...its marketed as a gel substitute/moisturizer].

Oyin Handmade Juices'n'Berries

what can I say about my beloved spritzer/moisturizer/refresher...everything. This water-based, oil free product is marketed as a moisturizer and it is perfect for me! I've learned in my 7 short months in this natural world, that my hair does better with water-based moisturizers over heavier creams. for example, as wonderful as shea butter is and as thick as my hair is, it doesn't 'like' shea butter, especially not raw. when its mixed with other natural products, preferably whipped, I can tolerate it...however if its a pomade or butter...nope. side note: if your hair loves shea butter, Hairveda http://hairveda.com/cleansing.aspx has an awesome Whipped Clouds that's light but still uber moisturizing because of the shea butter and aloe vera components; but if you prefer the butters/pomades, then try Oyin Handmade's http://oyinhandmade.com/oyin/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=3 whipped pudding. I tried it but ended up passing on to my aunt because of its heaviness.

Giovanni Direct Leave-in Conditioner

I use this after every wash. The only exception to this, if I'm using another leave-in which I have been trying out..but that particular leave-in is thicker, takes longer to dry and doesn't do well with other products. I never have a problem with Giovanni Leave-in...its not watery like some, it has some hold (nothing to write home about) but its an all around reliable product. I have about 3 bottles of it! :)

this can be purchased at Target or online through a couple websites...

and finally....well honestly, picking a 5th one was difficult. I have a lot of great products, hairstyles, hair accessories. So I asked myself...if I didn't have access to what other thing-what would I proverbially "die" for?

headband

I don't ever hide the simple fact: my head is huge. and from since I cut my hair in January of this year, I have leaned on various styles of headbands and/or scarves...my husband feels they make my head look bigger, but in my delusioned mind, it somehow looks...smaller? I love them and I don't care who doesn't...I rocked the headband when I only had about 3 inches of hair on my head! was i laughed at- yes? did I care- no! LOL

So the one I chose as a part of my favorite 5 is the Goody ouchless classic elastic headband. now with a growing fro, this band helps to keep my twists away from my face in a 'style' and also is a quick fix for bad hair days. ;) simple but does the trick...everytime!

and that's me! my top 5 hair related items/styles.... remember, no two heads of hair are exactly alike so what works wonders for me, may be an 'ehhh' for you! take advantage of sales, freebies, sample sizes and trading with other people who may not like what they purchased.

btw: hairveda has a moisturizer sale on now, as i just learned visiting their sight. I haven't tried either of the two products advertised and honestly do not feel inclined to, at least not right now! I've got goals: vehicle, mac laptop and stationary bike. (and according to sweets, those are secondary to books and tuition deposits) ;)

smooches

statistics

2009-07-23T18:43:00.004-04:00

I mentioned that I 'met' my buddy who has already proven herself to be awesome. She gave me some great tips and answered questions that only a student could give insight too. Definitely helped to allay some fears. Of her suggestions, the best by far, was her advice to 'brush up' on my statistics. She mentioned taking a year off from school before beginning this program and despite the quick review the lecturer went through early in the semester, she still found herself struggling. I realized at that point, that her 'suggestion' would be a necessity for me. I've been out of school for 4.5 years....to add to that, my Masters program was counseling oriented and so we didn't have to take a separate stats class...we touched on the various statistical methods for compiling and assessing data in like 2 weeks in a basic research class. Prior to that, my last encounter with a formal stats course was in Spring 2001! yikes. To make matters even worse, that class was a CHALLENGE. Like the only class that had me grunting and complaining and having random bouts of crying/frustration fits kinda challenging... I completed the class with a respectable grade (really can't remember but it was either an A- or B+) but you have to understand that I worked my daggone butt off for that! I have never appreciated a grade so much in my life. ugh

I'm getting all flustered just thinking about that class, and that was undergrad. so needless to say, I am scared- like freaking out-possibly don't want to do this program -kinda scared. Anyhoo, I'm a fighter and if it kills me, I will get an A, no minuses will do. I have two mandatory semesters of statistics along with another research based class which will probably kick my butt however, I have to remain on top of my game in each of those classes. I'm a self-professed nerd and I graduated undergrad with 2nd highest honors, graduated with a perfect 4.0 GPA in my masters and I am NOT expecting anything less than a 3.9 GPA (hopefully I can do 4.0) from this doctoral program.

So from time to time, I'll have to vent as I commit to spending a minimum of 5 hrs per week for the next 5 weeks reviewing, relearning, preparing (whatever you want to call it) for this dreaded first year of Statistics!!!

smooches

stalking...

2009-07-22T14:54:00.006-04:00

In April of this year, decisions were sent out by all major universities regarding acceptance (or not) into various programs around the US and Canada. Of course, I was one of those anxious applicants that sat at the edge of my seat, literally checking my e-mail (hourly) and mail box (daily) to ensure there was no new information.

Well, three of the four schools kept me updated with the process (1 -yay; 2 - boo). My bargaining point was my special 'circumstances' living out of country and the delay of our mailing system (I literally got my one acceptance letter almost 3 weeks after it was mailed). The irony of this one school, who didn't respond in a timely manner, it was my first choice...for multiple reasons including: there were professors whose research areas were almost exactly what I wanted to do and it was in Kansas and my father-in-law and his wife lived less than 2 hrs away. So I really really really wanted to get a "yes" from this school! Thus I became a stalker, in every sense of the word...I sent e-mails, called, left voice messages, had other people calling...just trying to find out if I got accepted! Let me give more background...as I mentioned at this point, I had already heard from other programs and the one that offered me admissions was waiting, impatiently, for my response on or before April 15th..I wasn't going to be stupid and decline a sure thing without even hearing a blip from this program! All -in-all...somewhere around the last week in April ..yup, it took that long, I got the lame decline letter.

Well I explained all of that because I feel like I'm in the same predicament now. Its almost daily (I've slowed down in the past week) that I call or walk over to our scholarships office to look for this "list" that is usually available by the first week in july to find out whether my name was among the 10 people selected for this financial honor... anything sounding vaguely familiar??

I'm thinking I'll count this a loss and stop the stalking. Like relationships, [as I was reminded in the movie- He's Just Not That Into You] if I was chosen, regardless of where I am, there is some way for them to find me, ESPECIALLY since we work within the same office building...

although I was selected for Bride of the Month in April 2008 and the illustrious award was given to the 2nd choice because I was unavailable...ugh. anyhoo, lets not go there. that's a bad place I don't want to visit...

smooches

a touch of randomness

2009-07-22T10:51:00.005-04:00

I've been on the fence about this pc vs. mac debate. Everyone who has a mac (and even some who don't) have sung the many praises of this system and can seriously be paid to advertise based on their personal experiences.

One of the suggestions my sister actually gave me was to use safari while on my pc to get 'a taste' in a way...so I did. and I'm digging it. like seriously, it was a slight adjustment but I'm loving safari over internet explorer BUT apparently safari doesn't work at its optimum potential on a windows program...DUH right? lol

and after a successful 2 months of using safari at work, the IT guy comes and deletes it. He thinks it may be part of the problems I've been having using the internet with my computer. :inward groan: its just a means to surf the internet right? what' s the big deal. ugh

can I just get safari back...please? another small pleasure of life ripped away.

I got it!!!!

2009-07-21T10:59:00.004-04:00

"Your application to study in Canada has been approved; you may now travel to Canada."

The long-awaited letter goes on to explain the initial process once I arrive in the country and what I need etc etc... so here it comes....

Since you can't hear me screaming/squealing...and you can't see or "hear" my grin...I googled "excitement" and this was the best representative for what I feel. Lord knows I really needed this as I arrived to work 1.5 hours late with a growing headache, cramping stomach, a touch of nausea and just plain ole bad feeling. This was my ray of sunshine since the clouds (proverbial and literal) covered the light this morning...

so should I go looking for trouble? i.e. contact the scholarship division and see if the list of awardees has been released???

Hair accessories

2009-07-20T12:17:00.007-04:00

The one thing you will learn about me is that I’m obsessive. Like seriously, if I get an idea, I don’t sleep until I go as far as I can with what I have…

On Friday, I stumbled upon this…

from CurlyNikki and decided that I want this. Of course, the chances I find it (or anything similar) here in the Bahamas is slim and if I do find, I’ll probably pay in excess of $20 (US currency). The other option would be to purchase online and pay shipping and additional charges -customs duty- once its shipped here in the Bahamas. Of course, both options are unacceptable since I want a stationary exercise bike, vehicle and a MAC laptop in September once I move for school (in no particular order).

So on to the point, I decided to try and make my own. STOP. That’s a lie. I went out and got the supplies to drop to my mother for her to make..but since it was a Friday and traffic was ridiculous, I sat home and tapped my feet, literally near trembling because I HAD to see the results before I went to sleep. My husband only shakes his head when I get like this because its now Monday and I have yet to find an opportunity to wear either of the pieces I made but I swear I would have died if it wasn’t done on Friday.

So to abort a crisis- I got my sewing kit, which my mom bought for me a month before the wedding…and got to stitching.

Here are the results:

productive or not...

2009-07-20T11:15:00.002-04:00

So my days are just starting to melt into each other especially now that time is winding and all I'm focused on is the money getting sorted out. today is *supposed* to be the day when I find out if I was selected for an external scholarship that I applied for...but the names were supposed to be posted from 2 weeks ago so who knows if the knots in my stomach today will be for a reason :shrugs: Heard from landlord, who HAS NOT yet received the lease agreement and deposit even though it was sent like 2 weeks ago. :another round of knots in my tummy: their (landlords) sweet e-mail was to remind me that their impending time to leave is quickly approaching and of course, the deal was to have that set and in their hands before they leave! :deep sigh:

other issue: I'm yo-yo'ing between flying Air Canada and going directly into the city where the school is OR flying into the US and driving over. Driving over is about $250 cheaper but if you followed my ramblings previously, you'll remember that there was some hassle at the border control. my issue with this, is not to avoid hassle, because there will be that regardless...[sidenote: I mean, its their job...during training to be immigration/custom officers- I’m almost sure that they are encouraged to be menacing and scary looking :giggle:] but my real issue is that the airport offers more sophisticated electronic devices which can possibly move the harassment faster. my bags would, no doubt, have to go through the lil TSA xray/screener thingy and so it *should* avoid having to actually have another person go through it again once we arrive. In addition, we would have walked through at LEAST 2 of those scanner thingies ourselves so that should decrease the amount of further "screening" we would need when we land...right???? :fingers crossed: another thing is transportation...its definitely more convenient to rent a vehicle in Canada than US..given that hubby will be there for an entire 4 weeks and if there are any problems or changes we don't have to actually get our passport/legal docs to get that done! I guess I worked through my pros and cons huh? yea. ok. we'll fly directly into Canada. So I was advised to try and get the internet/phone stuff set up also so I can get a confirmed date ahead of the 'move in rush'. so yes, I'm listening and trying to work on that too! now onto more pressing issues. getting my car ready for sale! yikes. so many small things that I ignored that I'm now really just trying to deal with. nothing major but if I sell as is, I can probably lose out on a good $1,500 because of these 'issues' which probably will only cost me about $500 to fix! so we just had an oil change/service. got the door hinge fixed so it can stop the pesky leaking (during heavy rain) and now about to replace the fuel pump...which is suggested to be replaced every 70,000 miles and since my car is now clocking 85k - its overdue. :) but I'm a girl and once it doesn't emit exhaust or randomly stop or don't start...I'm happy with life. oh..yea, it NEEDS to give off cool air too! :giggle: and since none of the above were ever an issue with my beloved Blue Flame..then I never really did much other than keeping up with regular oil changes and brakes/tires when necessary. so that's me. a little on edge. nothing as I probably will be next month this time...but yea. its beginning to look very real now..

School, hair and wifedom

2009-07-20T10:33:00.004-04:00

In September of 2008, I had a brilliant idea…I would go ahead and apply (again) for a doctoral program. A little background. I completed my Masters in Mental Health/Counseling Psychology in December 2004. At that point, I was gung-ho on only taking a one year hiatus to work and catch myself financially and then dive right into the pursuit of my doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Well about half-way into that year of work, I missed my baby and decided to pack up everything and go home (Bahamas). Even though I returned home, the plan was still to return to school within the next year…at this point it was April and much too late to pursue school in ’05 so I would figure something out.

I stumbled upon the new trend of online universities and in Winter/Spring of ’06, I enrolled and completed my first semester in Walden’s PhD program in Clinical Psychology. That lasted all but one semester. I failed to mention that in between this year, I had also gotten relevant information to begin applying at other programs however, either I didn’t pursue the full application because I didn’t have enough money or I wasn’t qualified enough.

I jumped back on this school thing and adjusted my options. Maybe a clinical or counseling program wasn’t absolutely necessary since I had such a strong foundation at the Masters level. Truthfully I was working, quite competently for the past 3 years with a Masters degree. So this began another series of research and applications. Long story short, that “baby” who I came home to, proposed in May 2007 and we were married in April 2008. Excitedly embraced the role of wife which ha been both fulfilling and frustrating- sometimes both at once! After 6 months of marriage, the school itch kicked in.

As the good wife, I consulted with hubby (who will be referred to as hubster, sweets or DH) about the application processes, fees and my tentative plan. My ‘brilliant’ plan was that I would actually go ahead and apply to 3 schools (later changed to 4) between Canada and US. The key to this would be- I would actually follow through and complete all applications- even if my scores from my GRE (which were about to expire) wasn’t high enough, or the programs required more experience than I had or the school just looked “too good” for me, I would send in everything required. If I was offered admission- fat chance- I would only accept IF there was no cost to us, i.e. entire tuition would be covered. Of course, because we are neither US nor Canadian citizens, there would be additional costs associated with moving, living etc but my main prereq would be tuition cost defrayed...now I don’t know how impossible of a feat this sounds to you, but to both DH and I, this was next to walking on water. Well ironically enough, I not only got accepted, but I got offered a scholarship and a GA position that would inevitably provide enough to cover the entirety of tuition costs!!!! Go figure! Of course, being the faith-filled believer that I am, I do believe that Jesus walked on water, but I think I sometimes forget that miracles are still available to us who believe, love and follow God today!

Somewhere during this application process (January 2009), I cut off my hair to pursue a chemical-free life style…well as it relates to hair. So I have what is affectionately called a TWA –teeny weeny afro which, at the time of the big cut was about 3 inches and now is fluffing out to about 6 inches…major milestone in my life especially since there was some opposition…well better described as criticism from sweets.

To date I have:

Accepted offer for admission, GA and scholarship from school

Applied for an external scholarship and currently waiting on response

Visited school and surrounding area and found a house for rent

Sent in signed lease along with deposit to the house (which both of us absolutely love)

Undergone necessary tests, medical intrusions, lengthy interviews and paid half my savings to complete the procces of applying for a Canadian study permit

Made contact with advisor and registered for fall semester

Made contact with ‘buddy’ who is a 2^nd year student who’s function is to help my transition go as smoothly as possible – she’s AWESOME and been extremely helpful already

Arranged for utilities (electricity and water) to be connected as of September 1

Undergone verbal harassment from ‘loved ones’ who feel I’m making the biggest mistake of my life which will ultimately destroy my marriage

Applied for vacation leave which was confirmed

Applied for paid study leave which was declined

Applied for unpaid study leave which is being processed

Decided on a date for departure- September 3

Ok…I personally hate reading long entries and this is about a chapter for a dissertation so I’ll stop here but I think my purpose was achieved- you should be all caught up on what I’ve been writing about for the past 7 months.

Why another blog?

2009-07-20T08:47:00.002-04:00

I kinda don't know where or how to exactly begin this "blog"... this particular blog is a continuation of sorts of an online journal I kept on www.brownandbridal.com where I’ve found an online sisterhood. I’ll tell you more about BAB later. So when I started it was really just to organize my thoughts and preparations for me beginning my doctoral program this fall. I didn’t intend to actually write an entry every week…which is what ended up happening and sometimes more than once per week. In the last month, I realized that I found this process cathartic and should probably just “do my own thing” so I have the option to continue until I get tired of typing. I wavered back and forth with this but decided to just give it a try!

There have been a couple themes being reinforced in my life, especially this year: purpose and passion. An important aspect of living is living to the fullness, i.e. fulfilling my God-given purpose and the only way to do that, in light of adversity, financial stress, family acting out, “closed doors” and the like…is to be passion-filled. It’s that passion that helps you to bounce up after you are told you are making a big mistake by someone who you care about but who just doesn’t understand or share your vision. It’s that passion that motivates you to submit the application even though you were told you aren’t qualified. It’s that passion that encourages you to hold fast to dreams even when you are awake and life is being a monster!

That’s the passion that I embody: in my life and in loving. It just somehow makes living more interesting, i.e. an emotional rollercoaster but nonetheless worthwhile.

So in addition to me being purpose driven and passion filled in how I view life, I embrace my randomness. Sometimes it sparks creativity, most times it results in giggles and every time (when I choose to share), it garners funny looks. But that’s me…